


Emotional, physical, and mental

by TFALokiwriter



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Concern, F/M, Fear, Gen, Humor, Hurt, Klingons, M/M, Psychic Bond, Romulans, Trust, Vulcan, Worry, t'hy'lara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-15 08:04:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 41,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5777818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TFALokiwriter/pseuds/TFALokiwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are three things that can hurt some-one when pushing them to their limits or making them feel pain: emotional, physical, and mental. Sometimes the last part can hurt more than the physical, and sometimes, just sometimes, but perhaps rarely this ever happens, you get the wrong version of the mind inhabiting it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Three

Bones, Spock, and Jim were in a rounded cell with their backs to the wall. Spock was  across from the two contemplating a means of escape. Jim was looking up toward the ceiling, his mind lost in thought with a smug smirk placed on his face, and Bones? Oh he is just Bones. He had his arms folded glaring at the young man.

"Did you really have to mention our communicators to these mad aliens?" Bones asked.

Jim's smirk faded as he turned his head toward Bones.

"I thought they were out of ear shot."  Jim said.

"You were speaking quite loudly, captain." Spock interjected.

"Not helping." Jim said.

"And I am going to die on a planet with you three! Not how I expected to go." Bones said.

"What about that girl we saw on the way in? We can save her and our selves, we usually do." Jim said.

Bones glared at the direction of Jim. 

"Jim, she is a mute. And second of all, we don't have our damn phasers!" Bones said.

Suddenly the cell melted  away to reveal two short alien beings where one was holding a square device. They were draped in unusual clothing and their faces were green, their eyes were wide but really oval shaped. Their hands were relatively small. They had their eyes on the three men.  Once again they were in a wide room that was dark and had a padded material in the dead center.

"We have a test to continue for our little friend." The second alien said.

"What kind of test?" Bones asked.

"To see your pain. How you react to it. How you will overcome it," The second alien said. "We want the Vulcan."

"Vulcans do not feel," Jim said. "And you are not taking him!"

They looked over toward the captain.

"We can do this willingly  or the hard way." The first alien said.

"I shall go." Spock said.

"No, I order you not!" Jim said.

"Captain, this charade will either end in your death and the doctors," Spock said. "This is a no-win scenario."

Jim bit his lip, briefly, gritting his teeth together. The Vulcan was right.

 


	2. Two

The cell had returned shortly after Spock's departure. Surprisingly, Jim found himself worrying about the Vulcan than about himself. Bones put one hand on the man's shoulder. He looked over toward  Bones with fresh concern on his face.

"It is all right to be scared, Jim." Bones said.

Jim cocked a grin.

"Why would I need to be afraid?" Jim asked.

"You saw how those men were frozen in tubes, petrified, in fear," Bones said. "You are scared of Spock being added to their dead collection." He took his hand off Jim's shoulder. "Truth is, kid, I am scared of you being added more than me being killed."

The grin had faded from Jim's face as he turned his head down toward the floor.

"You are just saying that to make me feel better." Jim said.

Bones took out a hypo, he looked down toward it then back to  Jim, he slipped it into his pocket carefully without the young captain noticing. Bones had something on his mind. A decision that he had come to. Jim's head was lowered, his back slumped against the wall, and his eyes were briefly closed. He was going over the decisions that lead him into this scenario. If they died because of him, because of Jim, then he wouldn't find the heart to forgive himself. It was his idea to bring Bones and his idea to go along when they could have sent a security landing party to make sure these two people were all right.

"Bones . .  ." Jim said, shakingly.

"I know, Jim," Bones said. "I know. I have known you cared about the Vulcan for a long time."

Jim looked up toward Bones with a smile.

"That is not it," Jim said. "I make a terrible captain. Why is it my destiny to be one when I fail at it?"  Jim turned his head away. "So far I have nearly gotten you killed along with Spock and other members of the landing party. I don't understand why the whole universe views a man who hadn't completed the academy to be fit for something that  I have no experience in!"

Bones raised an eyebrow.

"Your destiny?" Bones asked.

"I met another Spock. That's how Scotty and I got aboard the Enterprise. He mind-melded with me," Jim said. "I saw . . ." He sighed. "I saw a better captain. Another James T. Kirk who is better than me," He turned his head in the direction of Bones. "This Spock was very old. In fact he is Ambassador Selek."

"No wonder he is so familiar." Bones said.

"I am sorry for keeping this from you," Jim apologize. "Perhaps it is my destiny to meet Spock and screw up being a captain. I have done pretty good so far."

"Jim!" Bones said. "You have done _good_ so far. Not everyone has died on our away missions and we have helped many people so far."

"Crashed and burned numerous relationships at that." Jim said.

Bones heard light footsteps headed their way. Jim turned his head in the direction of the door expecting the scenery to melt away. Bones took out the hypo then applied to the side of Jim's neck. Jim fell to his side, his eyes closing, and his world turning into darkness after a cold metal had met his skin. Bones put away the hypo back into the bag. The scenery melted way to return to the original.

"You are next, doctor." Came the first alien.

There was no Spock with them.


	3. One

Jim's eyes forced open to see the cell was empty.

"Bones!" Jim shouted.

Panic.

Fear.

Unsure.

Doubt.

Fright.

"Damn it, Bones."  Jim muttered, helping himself upright  using the wall as his guide.

Jim got upright then he went toward the door then he grabbed on the bars using his hands and tried to pry them open forwards in his direction. God, the bars burned his hand! With a shout Jim fell back on the hard concrete floor wincing at the pain he was in. His eyes closed as he could smell the burning coming off his fingers. How perfect. He didn't have Bones to help him take care of the hand problem. He looked up to see there being a pair of bars at the top with a space in between them.

He made a invincible barrier with his doubts of being  captain between his friends and the job.

He had all the time in the word to self-pity himself.

Jim looked down toward his red burned hands.

Surely, the determination of one old  Vulcan to get him aboard that ship should ease his worries. No, they didn't. It just made him believe that old Spock believed every James Tiberius Kirk in the multiverse belong on the Enterprise regardless of their position but preferably be the captain of it. He spoke highly of his Jim on the way to the base. How they became fast tracking friends and the human practically grew on him like a brother. Jim didn't see any of that with his Spock. They strictly had the captain-commander relationship.

The scenery dissolved around Jim falling like liquid. His hands,remarkably, still had the burns! It was a bitter taste of his reality. What he had did was stupid, he should have expected the bars to be electrified.  Perhaps the mute can help him as she did with Bones wounded thumb. It was a miracle, Bones noted, that she was able to heal with her hands. Even more unusual that she could not speak and did not know sign language.  Jim went down the dark hallway until he came to the pool of light where there was the young woman curled up, her legs around her calfs, and her eyes were bright as two sea blue beads from a bracelet he made for his mother. One that he never did give to her because she left and Uncle  Fred broke it.

She turned toward Jim's direction.

"We have to get out of here," Jim said. "Stat," He was thinking about her, getting her to safety, other than getting his hand healed after walking in the darkness for what felt like an hour. "Take my hand," She looked up toward his hand, her eyes full of wonder, and fear rested in them. "You can trust me."  Her gentle brown eyes rested on his light blue ones. "I will _not_ hurt you."

The girl looked as though she were touched.

She extended her hand toward his hand.

Then she let out a scream taking her hand back.

 _Shit!_ , Jim thought realizing his error.

When he looked down toward his hands the injuries were gone. Jim then picked up the one hundred twenty pound woman into his arm. He picked the girl up into is arms then speeded in the direction  where there was a source of light.  Jim had a eerie feeling this had happened before, but maybe not, far as he was concerned this had never happened before. He went in the direction of the light heading past metal towering pillars supporting the ceiling. He saw there being a exit that showed light at the end of the tunnel.  Jim looked to the entrance and then back to the exit. He lowered her down to the floor letting her stand upright.

If he had his communicator, then he would simply request Scotty to beam up one and hand it to the girl  then run off to find his two friends.

Jim came to a choice.

His only choice in fact.

"Wait outside." Jim said.

The girl shook her head, her hands wrapped around his arm and she seemed to be terrified. For the one who healed and the one he wanted to protect, she seemed to get easily attached to the one who made herself get injured  and then healed. Jim rubbed his forehead with his free hand. He remembered the image of a older man being held by shackles,covered in burns and injuries all over, then placed down onto a cushion weakly pleading, " _Don't let her heal me,  Jim."_ It was a different voice that had the same southern drawl that belonged to Bones.  Maybe Spock Prime had given him memories of a incident such as this during the mind meld. These memories were now his.

"And then we are all getting out of here," Jim said. "Let's find my friends and get the hell out of here."

The girl nodded.

And off they went to find Jim's friends. The girl looked about, afraid, her eyes trained to see the slightest of all movement. Bones had theorized this girl came from a civilization that did not speak but somehow communicated and were against violence much like Vulcans only for a much more good reason.  Her hair was short, dark brown, and her outfit mostly consisted of purple with what seemed to be little gems. She could have been a ballerina, a extravagant dancer, or a well trained actor and Jim wouldn't have cared about it: instead, he would care about rescuing her. Spock would comment on her dancing skills. Bones would sigh, muttering, " _I am a doctor, not a critic!"_

Eventually they came into a laboratory.

Jim froze seeing a curled up unresponsive figure against a tube with pointy ears. Right up against a empty tube alongside two men, the frightened to death men, who had their hands against the screen trying to escape what was terrifying them so. Spock! Jim could feel horror and mixed emotions coming down straight from the head. He could hear his heart beating slowly.

" _Spock_!" The name came out emotionally.

His whole world started to spin when the girl put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. She made him turn his attention toward the other way where . . . Oh god. That image. The next Jim knew is that he found himself bringing Bones down to the floor, breaking off the chains, and he looked pretty bad at this rate. Jim found himself trembling. Scared. Fucking scared!

"Don't . . . let her. . . . heal me, Jim," Came the request, taking Jim's hand with what strength remained in his hands. "Let me die."

Jim's vision was getting fuzzy and blurry.

"Bones. . ." Jim said, putting one hand in the way of the girl. "Go to Spock."

The girl looked over toward  the slumped body that was not facing her direction then back to Jim, she shook her head.

"He. . .was. . . like that when I came here," Bones said. "Only, crying.  . ."

Jim held the hand of his ailing friend forcing back the tears that were coming back.

"Jim, get outta here." Bones said.

Jim shook his head.

"I am not leaving without the both of you." Jim said.

"Damn  it, Jim," Bones said. "Don't try . . . to be. . . the hero."

Bones grip on Jim's hand loosened as lost consciousness.

"We have one last test for you, captain." The first alien said.

Jim looked over from the ailing doctor feeling embroiled by rage. This never happened the first time around. He let go of Bones hand placing it to the side on the ground. The girl stepped back with a stifled cry. Jim's tears dried up. The girl took Jim's hand. Jim looked over toward the girl who was pleading through her eyes for him not to go. 

"You go," Jim said. "I stay."

He slipped his hand out of her grip then he stood up.

"Are you prepared?"  The second alien asked.

She tried to take his hand but he yanked it further away from the girl.

"I am." Jim said.

"Your test is in here." The first alien said, pointing over to the tube with a open door.

A terrible captain who let his two best working officers fall in action should die, rather than be demoted, at least that was what resting on Jim's mind. His hands had clenched up into fists, there were guilt on those shoulders. Jim willingly headed in the direction of the tube that was like a steel case. Of everything he had done: screwed up, had sex with every girl he came across, made some people die because some of his mistakes were just that bad, and sometimes captaining the ship into a reckless war zone . . . It could all end here. Jim's legs felt heavy.  To Jim, time went slow, he didn't look over his shoulder.

Spock Prime had told him their friendship would define each other.

One year of a friendship, is that how it would be capped off?

Spock Prime could have easily gloated to Jim that his Jim saved his life, and went across the galaxy to save his, but that wouldn't have made up for what Jim has to face. He entered the steel case watching the empath look down toward Bones. _Itisnotfair. It is not fair. IT IS NOT FAIR_. They shouldn't die because of him! He should go straight back into the academy to learn a new thing or two before being swept into space. He felt a pain in his mind. Something . . . un-conceivable.

His hand met the glass.

 _I make a terrible captain_ , Jim thought, _hey, at least . . . The Enterprise will zip out of the zone . . . At least she will have the most level headed-_ -He kneeled down first feeling a barrier in his head was shattered. It was horrifying, to say for the least, as his eyes landed on the figure of Spock who had a small pool of tears by his elbow. The empath appeared to be frightened as he fell further down.  His eyes closed feeling like he had been struck from another plane, forcefully. It was almost like dirt was pilling up on him and he was drowning. Drowning in his own thoughts.

_Bones. . ._

_Spock . . ._

_I'm sorry._

And then he fell to his side, his eyes closing, and he stopped breathing. The alien drew alert, their eyes widened, and they spoke in their native language. They pressed several buttons to their machine trying to revive him. They were snapping at one another for a 'job done terribly'. They looked up toward the body to check his vital signs. It wasn't working. Their faces were getting heated, their hands were getting sweaty, and their voices were getting strained.

"GET HIS MIND IDIOT!"

"NOT LIKE I AM THE ONE WHO CHOSE THIS KIND OF TORTURE!"

"IT WAS YOUR IDEA!"

"NO WAY, YOURS."

"THIS WAS THE RISKIEST TORTURE WE HAVE EVER DONE!"

"We have to trace his mind back and bring it into this vessel."

"Let's use The Vulcan trace connection."

"You idiot, that's rare."

". . . Right.  I forgot."

The aliens busied themselves resurrecting the human. Apparently he was suppose to succeed by fighting against the mind torture. The machine glowed a light blue by the inside. Then the chest started to raise up and down. It was a miracle. The two aliens shook hands. Admiral James T. Kirk opened his eyes to see a familiar scene. The aliens with strange heads. He was confused. Was he reliving this moment? Why? Why of all places? He saw a familiar woman place her hand on a man followed by a shriek.

The two aliens faced her direction and watched.

And Admiral James Tiberius Kirk closed his eyes to get much needed rest.


	4. Zero

Jim's eyes opened to find himself in a familiar room only it was. . . blue.

"Captain." Spock said.

"Yes, Mr Spock?" Jim's own voice sounded different.

"Why were you in the tube?"  Spock asked.

Jim's eyes opened and he faced in the direction of Spock. He looked different. He did not look at all like the Spock he knew. Jim could feel . . . young again. He decided not to alarm the Vulcan by how young he felt. There had to be a logical explanation for this.

 _This is Spock, your first officer and science officer, one of the many surviving Vulcans from the destruction of Vulcan by Nero_.

It was a voice, a distant voice that belonged to the body of this young man.

"I . . . do not remember," Jim said. "The empath . . ."

"She has been saved by the Vians," Spock said. "I was recovering from my emotional attack." He had his hands behind his back. "They used the memory of my mother falling into the center of what had been my former home to attack me."

 _Alternate Universe_ , Jim assumed, _just my luck_.

"I grieve with thee." Jim said.

Spock appeared to be surprised.

"Pardon me, captain?" Spock asked.

"I grieve with thee." Jim repeated himself.

And in came a familiar figure.

_This is Leonard McCoy, former roommate at the academy, now Chief Medical Officer of the Enterprise and best friend._

"Spock, I told you that you didn't need to stay over night."

"I have only just arrived in here, doctor McCoy."

"You look like you have been up all night."

"That is because you are reflecting your current mood and your worry toward the captain," Jim looked over to see that  Bones was, in fact, the one who had stayed up. His hair was a mess. "Your worry and concern for the captain is understandable. Now that he is awake, you may return to your sleeping patterns."

Jim was smiling, beaming, really as he had a laugh.

"What is funny?" Bones asked.

"This," Jim said. "I missed this."

Bones and Spock shared a compelling confused reaction, with the Vulcan raising his arched eyebrow. He had missed, indeed, these conversations between his medical officer and science officer. It was a lot like old times. Bones raised a eyebrow at the younger man then he came right over.

"Jim, are you feeling all right?" Bones asked.

"I feel better than I did before!" Jim said. "Now, if I may."

"Er, Jim, there's a little problem with that." Bones said.

"What is it, doc?" Jim asked.

"The girl wasn't able to heal a injury on your legs," Bones said. "You are going to need some bed rest and a good rehabilitation."

"I feel perfectly fine." Jim said, moving his legs. "Ahhh, that sure feels good."

No aching leg.

No tiresome feeling haunting the admiral.

No being an old relic.

"Captain, may you please roll down your socks?" Spock asked.

"Sure." Jim said.

Jim rolled down his socks to reveal a healed wound.

"Well I'll be dammed," Bones said. "She healed you."

* * *

Jim found his way to his quarters quite easily, and it was something more of a 'big wide room with stuff that belongs to a young man who has not grown up'. He had to file a log to himself, or, go to the most known source to talk to. His Spock. Jim sat down in the chair then meticulously went through the memories giving himself a array of time allowing Mr Spock to have the conn. Perhaps he would be of some help to understand this scenario.

And in the memories he saw his old friend was not middle aged but now, in fact, old.

Jim initiated contact with Spock Prime with a communications.

"Hello," Jim said, with a grin. "Old friend."

"Hello, captain," Came the Vulcan's reply. "Why have you called me?"

"Guess who I just met?" Jim asked.

"Edith Keeler." Spock said.

"I have yet to meet her, again," Jim said. "I met Gem!" He waved his arms, flailing them, really. "Well, sort of,kind of, I only SAW her before I lost consciousness for likely the second time . . ." Jim paused, frowning. "No, third time."

Spock Prime appeared to be amused.

"Apparently you have some of my memories." Spock said.

"Spock," Jim said, turning his face into a serious one. "I was just yanked from the dead into this young man."

The look of amusement faded on the Vulcan's face.

"Oh really, captain?" Spock Prime asked. "This is very ill of you to speak this way. Whatever trick you are trying to pull, stop it."

"How long has it been since  I died? Why did I not get my wrists injured and instead. . ." Jim waved his hands, trying to figure out the right words. "This . . ." He paused. "You think I am making this up, Spock, don't you?" His eyes became daggers. "How long has it been since  I died?"

"I made my peace with his death,captain," Spock Prime said. "It wasn't easy to get over his death for the second time."

"The second . . ." Jim was struck with a image of the younger Spock on his side, unresponsive, his vision getting blurred at that image. Jim closed his eyes. "I am really screwed up. I am gonna find that kid. Maybe he is still here." He tapped on the side of his head earning a 'you are very ill, captain' reply from Spock Prime. "I know. I know. I know. I don't sound like myself." He grinned. "By the way,  I just realized something."

"And what is that?" Spock Prime said.

"Today is actually your birthday." Jim said.

"Jim, please don't--" Spock Prime started to say but got cut off.

"Happy birthday," Jim started to sing. "Happy birthday to you, Mr Spock, happy one hundred fifty-ninth birthday to you!"

"Captain, never do that again." Spock Prime said.

"I don't sound as sweet in this body, that's a disadvantage." Jim said.

"Captain," Spock Prime said. "When I meet you again, may I suppress those memories you have of my timeline?"

There was silence.

"I miss the ship." Jim said, finally ending the silence after five minutes.

"You _are_ on the ship, captain." Spock Prime said.

"I miss home. I miss . . . Our ship. The old girl. The _Enterprise_." Jim said.

"Captain,  I do not understand," Spock Prime said. "What do you mean?"

"Forget it," Jim said. "End call."

Jim slid his elbow on the table. He was alone and scared out of this situation. Jim put his hands together contemplating what to do. The current stardate was January 1st, 2259. Perhaps, he could do the search mentally for the James T. Kirk of this timeline on his own and repair the boy's captaincy to the best of his ability with his two best friends. A smile curled up on the side of Jim's face  as he came to the solution. Jim stood up then stepped aside, then pulled the chair in. Now, today, starts his mental search.

He can't be that much of a bad captain, surely.

Not with Admiral James T. Kirk around.


	5. Trelane

Hip hip-horrah!

Jim froze at the words on the screen.

 _Trelane_ , Jim thought, _oh no_.

"Captain!" Came Spock's voice.

The scenery changed before Jim's eyes into a field littered by planets, all in various designs and shapes making unique pictures. Jim was breath taken until he looked to his side to see that the Enterprise was smaller. He was huge compared to them. He reached his hand out toward the small Enterprise only to be snapped at by some invincible force. He yanked his hand back.

"Bad boy." Came a familiar voice.

Jim looked over.

"Trelane." Jim said.

The entity frowned.

"I did not introduce myself, yet!" Trelane scolded him. "You are rude!"

"You are a child,and now, please, send me back to my ship." Jim said. 

Trelane's face turned a heated red.

"HOW DARE YOU!"  Trelane shouted, outraged. 

Jim fell on a line of planets displacing them in several directions. He could feel something heated against his elbow. He looked over to see his elbow had landed into a sun. A damn sun! He used a nearby planet to get up on his two feet watching the young man swing his cane shaking his index finger from side to side. His strides were similar to the Trelane that Jim had known.

"I brought you here to be informed,  James whiny Kirk of the Starship _Enterprise_ ," Trelane said. "About your final death."

"What about my final death?" Jim asked. 

"You are going to join my ranks!" Trelane put one arm around Jim's shoulder. "A whole new world with the man who fought against Nero!"

Jim unwrapped Trelane's arm off his shoulder.

"The hell I will not." Jim said. 

"Don't be so silly. I know what your problem is. You just buried your conscience under the heavy weight--" Jim grabbed the man by the lapels. "Hey!"

"How do I unbury him?" Jim asked.

Trelane's face went pale.

"You are not my Kirk?"

"I am not."

"Shit."

Now that was new as the entity shoved Jim off.

"Tell me!"

"Who are you?"

"Admiral James T. Kirk."

"Ad--Admiral?"

"Yes."

Trelane put on a pair of glasses and then he nearly doubled back seeing Jim for his true form.

"Oh my stars. How did I not know!" Trelane threw the glasses over his shoulder letting it fall alongside the Enterprise. "You are dead!"

"I know, I know,  I know." Jim said, rolling an eye. 

"Oh my stars, I am going to pop up in three years and I will make this entire event seem as though it never happened," Trelane glared at the young captain. "You better be out of him by the time I pop up!" He pointed his finger straight at Jim. "All you need to do is some digging with a shovel. Find a shallow grave. All in the mind." Trelane grinned. "Good luck!"

Trelane flipped his hand and all was as it was prior to his sudden arrival. Jim was sitting down in his chair watching the stars pass by. Chekov and  Sulu were discussing about how they would react to seeing Charlie Evans again. There was a picture of a little girl on Sulu's console. The only girl Jim was aware of in Sulu's life was Demora.  The one who served on the _Enterprise B._ She was a Ensign. She could have passed for Chekov's daughter if not for her heritage and her relations to Sulu. She was very proud of her nation.


	6. Repair

Jim strengthend the relationship his other self had with the crew, to gain their trust, respect, and loyalty.  But he had to tell someone, someone he trusted, about his current predicament. It was a common occurrence to get trapped with Bones, so Jim bided his time, and waited, and waited. Until that moment happened. They were trapped by a cave in during a mission Jim never experienced before. It was new, it was a trick of fate. He had his leg trapped under a pile of rocks and a heavy boulder. They were separated from Spock. He could feel sharp pain coming from his leg. The search for James T. Kirk in the mind was uneventful.

"Bones." Jim said.

"Save your breath, kid." Bones said.

Jim smiled.

"I have something to tell you." Jim said.

Bones raised an eyebrow.

"Something I don't know about you?" Bones asked.

"Yes." Jim said.

"You like the Vulcan." Bones said.

Jim briefly closed his eyes then he reopened them.

"Yes,"  Jim said, taking Bones hand. "I am . . ." He considered the idea,again, it seemed mad to tell this to another person who will not believe him. "I am bisexual."

"I knew it!"  Bones said.

Jim had a soft laugh and he closed his eyes. Jim cleared his mind and allowed himself to picture his mind. He stepped foot onto the dirt. He looked down to see his hands were not of a young twenty-six year old man but a sixty year old hand staring back at him. Jim faced forwards then he began on his trek to find the young man. Bones looked over to see that Jim was asleep, or, something like that. He was quiet. His eyes were closed.

Bones took out his communicator.

"Anyone out there?" Bones said. "Spock, Ensign Richard? Ensign Sarah?"

* * *

_Jim found himself on a hill. A grassy hill. He could see a rocky path leading down straight to a familiar house. The home he had in Iowa, the one that had been handed down from generation to generation. The house that he and his brother lived in with their mother then Uncle Frank when she was busy traveling--wait, those memories aren't his. He and his brother went with their mother and father, partially a reason why they went to Tarsus IV. Jim walked down the path noticing the wired fences, the quiet black and white bodies of cows grazing  while some were sitting down, the sound of pig stench drifted into his nose._

_It is a little difficult to avoid pig stench when you live on a farm road._

_Fifteen minutes later, he found himself in the backyard. The house was all the same save for the holo-photos, the old lightswitch, manual labor to clean the house, the door knob, the books, the rooms, and the front porch with a swing set on the front. The pebbled walk way leading to the stairs. The mail box situated beside the white picket fence. The pairs of windows in front of the house giving a good view of the place. Jim,now at the backyard that showed miles after miles of fields, felt dizzy. He came by a small pool of water then looked over to see that he looked like a young man again complete with the 'Kirk curl' set to the side of his widows peak. He shared a face similar to his counterpart but different._

_"Spock," Jim said, rubbing the side of his head turning away. "I wish you'll believe me."_

_Jim closed his eyes feeling as though his memories were being replaced._

_"I am Admiral James T Kirk," Jim said, lowering his hand down to his side. He had a determined expression about his face. "Must find the Kirk of this timeline."_

_Jim's memories were melding with the memories of Kirk._

_So Jim let himself track the man, taking a shovel, following his inner radar.  He found himself by a group of trees close to a shallow grave. Jim dug the shovel into the shallow grave. This is it, Jim thought. He continued this for what felt like hours. His shovel unearthed what was seemingly a dead mental barrier. Spock had once told him about there being barriers for every mind as such for McCoy's case.  It made sense why everything looked as though it had been recently placed.  No dust. No fog on the windows. No aged look about the house. It was his mind taking housing inside the body of his younger counterpart._

_It was a field for Kirk._

_A great wide field._

_Jim looked up toward the sky to see the shape of the Enterprise right above._

_Interesting._

_Kirk's mind distanced itself from the Enterprise, almost as though he didn't belong there. It was odd that such a young man felt . . . Below? But why? Jim dumped the dirt on the grass alongside the shallow grave. Jim personal mind, although, was more of his Enterprise. The one he spent five plus  years on. The original Enterprise.  Though, he didn't belong there anymore. He was too old for this crap.  Jim's mind had merged with the one of this Kirk. Jim dug and dug until the shovel came to a stop on what sounded like wood._

_Jim smiled._

_"I found you." Jim said._

_Jim put the shovel on the grass then he pried open the wooden planks one by one using his bare hands.  He tossed the planks over to the side until he came to a face he had been seeing in the mirror for the past few weeks. Jim could see the Kirk chin, nose,and those eyebrows on the young boy. Jim picked up the young man into his arms then he got out of the hole. He headed back to the house. He wasn't weirded out by the fact he is holding himself in his arms. He carefully opened the door to the house._

_Jim went up the stairs inside the house then he opened the door with his free hand._

_Jim placed Kirk onto the bed._

_Kirk was in a white T-Shirt and blue jeans, sneakers that hadn't been tied, and he had the appearance of a teenager._

_Jim sat down into a rocking chair beside the bed, and there he waited for the man to wake up._

* * *

Jim's eyes opened to see a dark scenery around him.

"Bones." Jim said.

Jim heaved himself halfway up to feel numbness in his legs. He pulled up his pant leg to see there not being a wound. But he had clearly been the victim of some rockfall. This was confusing. He saw the shapes of rocks all around him faintly int he darkness that started to glow a light orange around the center being a gentle yellow. It was almost like there was flames inside the rocks. He pulled down his pant leg then felt a tear in the fabric over his knee. So it had happened; the rocks falling, becoming unconscious, finding Kirk, and then this.

"Bones!" Jim called.

Jim looked around to notice he was laid against the wall.

He heard voices.

One of which he recognize but it sounded panicked, afraid, and startled.  Right, this was the cave of the healing. It is capable of healing the  wounds on the outside but not those on the inside. His legs were probably numb, recovering from the sudden healing. Jim dragged himself down the hall following the source of the voices. He felt along for his phaser.  The light in the rocks had started to fade. Of all the things he had found himself in; in the original timeline he had never come across this cave.  This civilization hadn't developed warp-drive the first time around. Now? It seemed like they had gotten warp-drive faster than they should have gotten it. Where was Spock? Why couldn't they just beam Jim and Bones out? Right, beaming might be different in this universe. There was this one time he had Scotty beam the leader of a civilization in the sky to the ground to breath in chemicals that made his brain be different that affected the natives below to get the masks for the dwellers below. A promise was a promise.

"I can just kill the human and end my mayhem here." It was a high pitched male voice.

Tar'Hes, the former head healer, threatening.

"Listen, that is not going to help you." Bones said.

"SHUT UP. Our medicine was good until you came along." Tar'Hes said.

"It was improper and very unsanitary, thanks to me, your wife is going to deliver a healthy baby in a week." Bones said.

"We don't need your help!" Tar'Hes raised his voice.

Jim  saw the pistol be raised.

"Press the trigger and see where that gets you." Jim said.

The frog like man looked over toward Jim.

"Shouldn't you be dead?" Tar'Hes said. 

Jim stared at the man in intent.

"I get that a lot." Jim said.

Bones appeared to be stunned.

"Jim, you lost consciousness three hours ago."  Bones said, in shock.

Jim glared at Tar'Hes.

"Lower your weapon, Tar'Hes," Jim said. "No reason to kill a man for doing this job." 

"You lower yours." Tar'Hes said.

"Not a chance as you will, logically, attempt to kill me," Jim said. "Do not make me vaporize your hands off."

Tar'Hes turned the pistol in the direction of  Jim, then McCoy lunged in the direction of Tar'Hes knocking the pistol out of his hands. Jim sighed in relief. Tar'Hers was delivered a punch to the face then he went into unconsciousness. Jim lowered the phaser to the ground relieved. He looked over toward Bones. The first thing Jim noticed about Bones is that he had a bruise on the side of his face and a few scratches that needed to be treated.

"Bones," Jim said. "Is there an exit where he comes from?"

"He was stuck here as we were," Bones said. "He intended to kill us all off!" He looked over toward Jim. "I don't know about  you, but you seem to be lucky with surviving."

Jim had a short laugh, propping himself up against the wall.

"Spock will find us," Jim said. "That's what I cling to. Hope."

"And hope keeps you from dying?" Bones said.

"No, it was the rocks," Jim said, holding out a rock. "The healing rocks."  He dropped it to the ground. "We are in that section of the cave."

 


	7. Mental

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kirk means AOS Kirk
> 
> Jim means Kirk Prime. 
> 
> Just to clear any confusion in this story since I started it out with 'Jim' and devolved into two versions of the same person but different in one body.

_Jim sat in the rocking chair watching Kirk sleep.  He had reviewed the events that transpired prior to his arrival. He had studied it extensively. He had studied the train of thought that was in Kirk's mind. He didn't think of himself as a captain. Kaput. Nothing. It was sad to see of this from his counterpart. Jim had a sigh stopping the chair. How do you wake someone who feels extremely guilt and very much not . . . up for it?_

_Jim looked over to see a bright white light from the door._

_After the previous mission, Jim's legs were slowly coming back._

_There was a faint outline of light around the door._

_"What is this? . . ." Jim came toward the door._

_He took the knob then opened the door._

* * *

 "Where is the captain?" Spock asked.

"Meditating." Bones said.

Spock raised an arched eyebrow.

"Meditating?" Spock repeated.

"Yes, Spock," Bones said. "He is actually taking my advice for once. Resting!"

Spock lowered his eyebrow.

"I am unfamiliar to this sudden shift," Spock said. "Normally the captain does not take your advice. Which is unusual of him."

"Jim is still Jim," Bones said. "Just a little more responsible. I thought you would be happy about that."

"Yes, that is desirable," Spock said. "He has notice-ably cared about his landing parties casualties more than before . . ." Spock shook his head. "Logically, I am over thinking this."

"That you are." Bones said.

* * *

_Jim walked through the door._

_He came into what was apparently a meditating room. There was a mat on the floor. The drift (more so the aroma) of a Vulcan incense was clear in the air. As was the smoke. He looked around to see a glass panel  displaying images of Surak and the other godly Vulcans on the glass. He looked over to see on the mat was a old Spock. His Spock. Jim  came over to the side of his Spock. A smile danced on his face. It was part of many emotions that returned to him._

_Spock . . ._

_A memory flashed into his mind._

_One memory of Spock Prime placing his katra in Bones Prime's mind._

_Perhaps he can leave his counterpart in a vegetable state. . . Or, he can plant his--but wait, he does not have a katra! But isn't Katra the equivalent of a soul? Right, it is. Jim carefully placed his hand on the side of Spock's face. It had to be tried in case he died with his counterpart in the same body. The universe was not ending due to this unwelcome union. Spock and Jim, at one point, had a relationship. Before the Nexus. If Spock were to die, then at least let him do so with the mind of his best friend. The one who went across the galaxy to save him._

_Jim closed his eyes._

_"Remember." Jim said._

_Five minutes later Jim took his hand off the side of Spock Prime's face._

_"I will always be with you," Jim said. "Unlike how I was half of the time alive."_

_Jim stood up then looked in the direction of the door._

_"Have to go now," Jim said, stroking the Vulcan's cheek. "Spock . . . Kid can't stay there forever."_

_Jim walked away then went through the open door._

Spock Prime's brown eyes opened.

"Jim." Spock Prime said.

* * *

Spock was looking over Jim, his arms behind his back military style, and his head tilted.

"Jim, I fail to see how one can be meditating in bed sprawl in a illogical position." Spock said.

Jim smiled.

"How long were you here?"

"Exactly ten minutes," Spock said. "I thought you were not breathing but then I realized you were covered by the bed sheets."

Jim laughed.

"Now," Jim said, getting halfway up. "What is the reason why you have come to my quarters?"

"You said we would do chess today." Spock said.

"Oh , that," Jim said. "I totally forgot about it!" Jim reached out for his black regulation shirt on the other side of the bed. He caught it with his finger tips as it were dangling off the side of the bed really then he brought it over to himself and put it on. "Sorry, Spock," He looked over toward Spock with a sheepish smile. "Time got the best of me, why  don't you wait for me in the recreation room?"

The Vulcan nodded then left Jim's quarters.

Jim sighed.

Great, he forgot a chess match.  Jim froze.  What else might he forget? Memories of his Enterprise  family?

 _No_!

Jim shook his head putting on his shoe and started to tie them up. The melding of the two minds would eventually leave one mind standing. Jim put on his yellow shirt then looked over toward the mirror. He used a brush to straighten his hair out. But it still was left wild. It was unnerving to have unkept hair. He really liked it when he had curly hair that stayed in place. Jim put the comb back into the drawer then looked back at the mirror once more. He saw the face of a young man staring right back at him. The face he has been seeing for weeks.

Jim missed his face.

Jim put the belt through the loops then he exited his quarters.

* * *

  _Kirk's eyes opened to see a fan above his head attached the ceiling listening to a voice._

_"And here I am using this kids body to play with chess with a Vulcan less my age!" Came a voice he somewhat recognized. He closed his eyes feeling a heavy sleepish feeling tug him back down. It felt so peaceful. "I should be here living a lie--" The voice abruptly stopped. "Kid, do not fall deeper."_

_His head._

_God._

_It hurt!_

_Spock._

_Bones._

_Dead._

_"Spock and Bones are alive," Came the comforting voice. "Wake up." He felt a hand place itself on the side of his head. "You are so important to Spock in more ways than one. And he is just as important as you are to him. It is not just a passing friendship there is something more of it. Something greater. It ties you two together, you know," The warm hand was placed off the side of Kirk's head. "For eternity. I wasted it." There were lingering regret in the voice. "I regret not spending the time I had with Spock being alive."_

_The image of Spock looking over Kirk came into Kirk's vision._

_But he was. . . different._

_It looked as though Spock were wearing make up and he was in 1930's attire complete with a black hat that covered the side of his ears. His face, the cheek bones, the eyes, those eyebrows, and the chin itself was completely different. It washed away to reveal the Spock that Kirk knew. Different but alike. Counterparts. He saw the image of Spock by what appeared to be counterpart, older, in red and black uniforms on a dark bridge that seemed so alien. The next he was shown a image of what seemed to be a Vulcan slumped against his counterpart's chest and his counterpart seemed to be relieved, his eyes closed, and one hand wrapped around the backside of the  Vulcan. Kirk could tell it was a Vulcan because of the pointy ears._

_"Spock doesn't have to die on you this time."  The voice went on to say._

_Kirk's eye opened._

_"But you just said he isn't dead," Kirk saw a  young blonde man in the rocking chair with his hands together and a well played smirk on his face that seemed recognizable. "Wait, you are dead!"_

_Jim smiled._

_"I should be dead," Jim said. "But someone drew me into your body," He stopped the chair from rocking. "If you like a hand in chess then I give you that. And I cannot leave your body until the day you die." He sounded sad when he said that part. "It seems I am stuck with you. Spock is alive. Bones is alive."_

_Kirk saw a screen of Spock playing chess._

_"I got an idea," Kirk said. "How about you help me when I most need it? Control my body."_

_"Your move, kid." Jim said._

Kirk moved a chess piece earning a raised eyebrow from Spock.

_"How does the idea sound?" Kirk asked._

_"It sounds good," Jim said. "But you are the captain of the Enterprise, thrown in too un-experienaced but  I believe you can become the best captain there is. I had the liberty of bringing trust to you with your crew." Jim smiled rubbing his hands together at a warm memory. "Your destiny is on that bridge. There? You matter. Don't ever accept the offer to become admiral. Because right there is where you are needed the most."_

_Kirk fell out of the bed._

_"Oow." Kirk said._

_"There is more where that came from in the future." Jim said, holding his hand out._

_Kirk took Jim's hand then Jim helped up Kirk to his feet._

_"Where are we?" Kirk asked._

_"In our house," Jim let go of Kirk's hand. "I left some family memories I had with father for you."_

_Kirk walked over to the desk where he could see his mother, his brother himself, and his father in a family picture._

Spock made his move.

_"What was he like?" Kirk asked, softly._

_"Spock already told you." Jim said._

_Kirk looked up._

_"I want to hear it from you." Kirk said._

_Jim smiled._

_"He was a excellent father,"  Jim said. "We played games on our free time when I was a kid. He was there for me when  I first started riding a bike."_

_Kirk closed his eyes, disturbed._

_"My brother taught me," Kirk said. "After a beating from Frank. He lightened my mood up."_

_Jim placed a hand on Kirk's shoulder._

_"We never had Frank in my parents lives," Jim said. "He died alone. A drunken man." He took his hand off Kirk's shoulder. "Just the road you are thinking of going down after making one stupid mistake and getting yourself kicked off the Enterprise!" He stepped back narrowing his eyes at him. "Not on my watch are you doing that. Instead, I am going to make your life left better."_

Kirk moved the chess piece.

_"Hey, you are a passenger in my mind." Kirk said,._

_"You are going to thank me for this later," Jim said. "I can give you advice to beat Spock at chess and give advice for you on life in general," Jim grinned. "In a way, I will be your Yoda." He held his hand up. "I will not be in control of your body twenty-for-seven is that understood?" Kirk nodded. "Good, you are in control now."_

Spock tilted over Kirk's queen.

"Checkmate." Spock said.

Kirk grinned.

"You have won, Mr Spock." Kirk said.

"Your moves were illogical and irrational," Spock noted, raising an eyebrow. "It made me wonder if you were having multiple strategies at once."

_Kirk glared over to Jim._

_"I lied about the winning part." Jim said, with a meek shrug._

"How about another game?" Kirk asked.

Spock's brow had lowered.

"If that is what you wish." Spock said.

_"Kaddish."  Jim said, fondly watching the chess game be put back together._

"What does Kaddish mean?" Kirk said.

"What is, is." Spock said.

"Interesting." Kirk said, reordering his chess pieces on the board.


	8. Request

Jim was sitting down reading a book when Kirk came in.

"I just saved Spock's ass from a vulcano!" Kirk said.

Jim looked up from the book with a bemused smiled.

"Congratulations." Jim said.

"I believe he is going to rat me out." Kirk said, pacing back and forth.

"That is of Spock's character," Jim said. "He is a stickler for following the rules."

"I want to believe he isn't going to rat me out!" Kirk said, hands behind his back.

Jim raised an eyebrow.

"You are believing your time on the  _Enterprise_ will be limited?" Jim asked.

"Yes!"  Kirk said.

Jim lowered his eyebrow.

"Go through what happened." Jim said, placing the book on his lap.

"Nibiru, a Class M planet that has not reached warp drive, was about to be wiped out by a Volcano. We had to not allow this to happen! So Spock offered to be the guy who froze the Volcano because it was logical, so Sulu and Nyota went with him. And I went down to the planet surface with Bones to draw out the natives in case we failed and to not allow them to see what rescue operation we were doing for them." He took his hands from behind his back. "So we had to get  the _Enterprise_ out of the water then go to the Volcano and beam him aboard."

Jim's face faltered.

"They saw you." Jim said.

"What good does it hurt that they saw us?" Kirk asked.

"Oh, I don't know, a _ENTIRE SHIP_ being worshipped? I have done plenty of mistakes in my career in Star Fleet but no one worships  a starship stemming from a civilization like Scotty!"  Jim said. "God, he worshipped it more than he respected me." He had a light hearted chuckle. "One insult to the _Enterprise_ and he was all over the person." Jim's mood darkened. "Look, kid, there is one pro and one con to this. Pro, this makes them dream of going to the stars and devoting all their energy and life to advancing their life style and equipment to building starships in the next several hundred years. The con side? They may never go to the stars because they worship a godly starship capable of jetting to and from. Also that they believe it will come back for them. Otherwise, they will die on the same planet and never go out to the far reaches of space. Exposing yourself to a culture like them is a dangerous thing when they don't even comprehend what a starship is at the moment."

"You sound like Spock." Kirk said.

"Your career is going to be over," Jim said. "And Spock is making the right choice. That I must agree with Spock on this one. You have to learn from it in order to become a captain of a starship." Jim stood up. "You can become a legend. Legends start out a bit shaky, like you are right now, but you'll find your feet again. Now, if you excuse me . . . I have some reading to complete."

Jim went over to the chair then picked up the book.

"I want you to take control of my body when they take the ship from me." Kirk said.

Jim  looked up from the book.

"Why?" Jim asked.

"Because I am afraid that I will have a random outburst and make it a worse situation than it was before." Kirk said.

Jim paused.

"I will think about it." Jim said.

Kirk smiled.

"Thank you." Kirk said, visibly relieved.

Kirk went out the door and Jim returned to reading this book that he hadn't read before.


	9. Cadet

"Mr Spock, please leave the room." Came the request.

Jim was caught off guard being given the reigns to the body of his counterpart. He watched the Vulcan leave the room then his attention shifted to who could be defined as Christopher Pike. There was a remarkable resemblance of Pike from the one he had known (and seen his before photos) for a brief period of time. Pike leaned forward, his hands on the desk caught up in the shape of a ball.

"You are no longer captain of the _Enterprise_ starting today, they gave her back to me," Pike said. "And you are to report to the academy after you have packed  your belongings."

"Captain. . ." Jim said. "May I suggest a first officer?"

Pike was surprised by the cool reaction Jim had.

"Yes." Pike said.

"Have Mr Spock," Jim said. "He is a fine officer." Jim stood up. "Captain,. . ." He had a friendly reassuring smile toward the older captain who could walk. "Good luck."

Pike watched the cadet leave.

* * *

"Captain--" Spock started, coming alongside the cadet's side.

"Cadet." Jim said.

"That is pleasing to hear you are suffering the penalty for going against the prime directive." Spock said.

Jim felt like he wanted to punch Spock at the face.

That must be Kirk's anger.

Jim got in Spock's way.

"You want to know why I saved your butt back there?" Jim asked.

"Logically, my death would weigh on your conscious." Spock said.

Jim sighed.

"No," Jim said. "I would miss you." Spock raised an arched eyebrow. "If I had the chance, I would do it again." The memory of Spock Prime dying on the other side of the glass door. "Losing you?" He remembered the pod jet out toward Genesis. That was the most depressing time of his life losing his best friend. "That would cost half my soul."

Jim turned away from the stunned Spock then he went into the elevator then punched the lobby button.

The doors closed on Jim as he watched Spock staring at his direction.

Jim leaned his shoulder against the wall briefly closing his eyes. 

_"The hard part is over," Jim told the sulking man. "Your turn."_

_Kirk looked up from the table, his hands together, and his eyes were full of sincere._

_"Is it true?" Kirk asked.  
_

_Jim nodded._

_"He is like my other half," Jim said. "My Spock, that is."_

* * *

"Welcome back, captain." Scotty greeted Kirk.

Kirk had a sad smile.

"What is it?" Scotty asked.

"You are getting a new captain."  Kirk said, walking off the transporter.

"Oh, for how long?" Scotty asked.

Kirk shrugged.

_"I give it a year." Jim said, from aside reading a book._

Kirk went out the door as the sound of a materializing figure started to come to on the transporter pad then he went down the hall.

_"Hm?" Kirk said._

_"A year," Jim said. "The universe can't stand a Enterprise without her captain for too long. You'll find yourself on the bridge in no time."_

_That oddly did not sound reassuring._

_"Maybe on a completely different bridge." Kirk said._

_"Likely." Jim said._

"Hey Jim!" McCoy caught up with Kirk. "How did it go?"

"I am not your captain." Kirk said.

"Different ship then?" Bones asked, raising his eyebrow.

Kirk sighed.

"I am not _a_ captain anymore." Kirk said.

"Lieutenant?" Bones asked.

"No." Kirk said.

"Lieutenant Commander?" Bones asked.

"No." Kirk repeated.

"Ensign?" Bones asked.

"No, Bones." Kirk watched the plagues pass him looking out for his room.

 _Room 121_.

"They threw you out?" The words came out more difficult from Bones.

Kirk glanced over toward Bones with a small smile.

"They decided to send me back to the academy," Kirk said. "There are some classes I have not finished."

"And you are going straight back into assistant instructor in advanced hand-to-hand combat." Bones said.

"Unlike last time I did in the academy," Kirk said. "I am not going to cheat the tests," They came to a stop at the doors to his quarters. "Make sure to send me some  postcards, will you?" Kirk patted on the side of  Bones's shoulder. "Captain Pike will command the Enterprise after I leave."

Kirk turned away from his friend then entered his quarters.

The doors came to a gentle close behind Kirk. Well, these quarters are not going to be his in a few hours. Kirk took out his luggage from underneath the bed then went packing. His clothes went first. Then his belongings. He picked up a photograph of his parents ingenious to this universe. He smiled looking upon the father who died the day he was born. _If only. . ._ Kirk closed his eyes then put the picture frame onto the pile. He took off his yellow shirt leaving his black regulation shirt that matched his black pants. 

Kirk put the other belongings he had collected over the course of this cut short mission into the other luggage. He looked over to see a photograph of the bridge crew taken shortly after they went into space.  Kirk smiled down at that then he put it into a different pocket of the luggage and zipped it up. He took a few relics from the cabinets that he had collected. That one time he lost his memories and spent the best part of two months on a planet falling for a woman who died and never had his child. It hurt him inside knowing . . .  Knowing what could have been.

_"She died anyway," Jim softly spoke. "Stoned to death. Tried killing us."_

_"She died in your timeline too?" Kirk asked._

_"She did."  Jim said._

Kirk put his purring pet tribble into a section of the luggage that wouldn't bother the little fellow. His tribble did not reproduce (well, really, it could not reproduce at all due to the interference by doctors beforehand), got his stuff from the bathroom, and slowly packed his belongings. He made his bed, with great care.  He pulled the chair back into the desk. Kirk could feel great emotions. Kirk felt like he would never step foot in here again.

Kirk closed his eyes, looming over the two zipped up luggage's once he was finished.

It was difficult for Kirk to walk out and head to the transporter room for the last time.

_"Please, Jim," Kirk said. Do me this one favor."_

_Jim placed a hand on  Kirk's shoulder._

_"I will." Jim said._

Jim's eyes opened.

* * *

Jim came out of his quarters, luggage in tow, trailing behind him.  What he did not expect was to see people standing at attention pose.

_"Kid, you should come see this." Jim said, bringing Kirk over to the view screen._

_Kirk's eyes stared at the screen and his jaw dropped._

_"What. . ." Kirk said._

_"That is for cleaning your ass up and taking some of my advice," Jim said. "I did most of the hard work."_

Kirk felt mixed emotions. Jim went down the hall while the wheels to his luggage rolled. For being around a Vulcan for three some decades, Vulcans rubbed off him. Spock rubbed off Jim. Truth to be told seeing a honor guard lined along the hall flattered Jim. In fact this never happened to him, hardly ever, in his youth. Truth be told he pictured himself walking down the hall aboard the Enterprise. The one he had called home more than anything. The power of imagination worked for Jim as he felt at ease walking in the hall.

Kirk, on the other hand, was stunned.

The doors to the transporter room opened.

"Why am I am flattered, Mr Spock," Jim said. "You rallied most of the crewmen."

Spock raised an eyebrow.

"That was not my idea." Spock said.

Bones elbow punched Spock.

"Sure it was!" Bones said.

"Aye, it was." Scotty said.

Spock lowered his eyebrow.

"Besides, you might see me in the better part of the decade,"  Jim said. "Not like we are parting ways forever."

There was a familiar look on Bones face, something that Jim had seen when they parted ways after the five mission and he had said " _Not like we are parting ways forever._ " It was almost like the man older than him had expected it to be that way. Jim wanted to believe that Bones was relieved that he wouldn't have to deal with the captain and the Vulcan anymore. But this time seeing it in this situation: Bones must be feeling it could be the last time he saw James T. Kirk in the flesh. Jim set the luggage upright then gave his friend a hug.

"Normally I would say, ' _Don't get yourself killed_ ,'" Bones acknowledged. "But there is the academy you are going to," Jim broke the hug. "Do not get yourself thrown out, you infant."

Jim grinned.

"I will do my best,Bones." Jim said.

". . . Jim," Spock said. "Did you really mean the part about the part relating to your soul?"

Jim looked over toward Spock.

"Every word of it," Jim said. "I left a message for you. It is in your audio message inbox."

Spock raised an eyebrow up.

"I do not have a audio inbox." Spock said.

"You do now." Jim said.

Spock lowered his eyebrow.

"That is illogical as reading letters I can easily pick up the narrator's voice." Spock said.

McCoy had a chortle.

"Somehow I knew you would say that." Jim said, not surprised.

Jim went over to the luggage then brought them over to the transporter sliding them on.

"Thank you for the bottle of scotch," Scotty said. "I am savin' it for a memorable occasion."

Jim turned toward  what few were there, except for Nyota and Sulu and Chekov.  They were likely refusing to believe that Jim was leaving (in a state of denial) or that they knew this would happen and did not want to be there. Jim could picture his crew, the one he served alongside, standing in the places. His Enterprise family were solid before his eyes briefly then they faded. Jim held his  right hand up doing the ta'al hand sign then said, "Live long and prosper." Spock reciprocated. "Beam me down, Scotty."

Scotty slid up the bar to the transporter console.

In the beaming golden haze, Spock could make out a different face to a person who was not there. Similar facial features to Kirk. It must have been the image graphics of the transporter becoming distorted. It was of a older man with golden hair, hazel eyes, wearing  a yellow shirt, and he had a warm smile. He seemed to have the build of a fully grown man.  Perhaps the yellow came from the transporter. That to had be a logical answer. In a golden haze former captain Kirk vanished before everyone's eyes.

"I am goin' tae miss him." Scotty said.

"Much as I hate to say it," Bones said. "I miss him already. It'll be nice to have a captain who won't swooned by women twenty-for-seven!"

"Jim was swooned by women approximately seventy-eight point ninety-two percent of the time." Spock said.

"Mr Spock is right," Scotty said. "It did nae happen all the time."

"Yes, it did," Bones said.  "I already look forward to the new captain."

They watched as a figure started to appear in a golden flare on the transporter pad.

* * *

**. . . Spock's quarters. . .**

**. . . Thirty-two minutes after Pike's arrival. . .**

Spock pressed the play button to the audio.

 _"Hello, Mr Spock._ " Came Kirk's voice.

"Hello." It was illogical to greet a prerecorded audio tape.

" _I want to believe you are going to serve with Captain Pike as you served me," Kirk said.  "But if he goes against your own morals, go to Bones and share a discussion regarding it. Bones is a listener and he can give you the best advice there is. You see  that when you lose the captain that leaves you as the commanding officer, which you know as it is logical. You will need Bones, much like a partner does, as much as he needs you.  I am well aware Vulcans are emotionless, but. ._ ."

"But?" Spock asked.

" _You are half human._ " Kirk said.

"My half human side does not interfere in my missions." Spock said.

" _Yeah, yeah, I know you are saying that your human half plays no part. But let's be serious. For once. You are human as I am and emotions are what makes us who we are. Logic and emotions play together. Without emotions you do not have logic. It is like which came first: the chicken and the egg." Kirk sighed. "Spock . . . You get on Bones nerves and he gets on yours, which you claim not to have any, but the fact is: you need to listen to him. He is the guy who saves your ass. Trust in him like you trust in me. Trust Pike.  I know he will make a great captain_!"

Spock raised an eyebrow.

" _Some of the memories I saw in the mind meld with older you showed me that he served under Captain Pike for eleven years," He sighed. "Spock . . . let me just admit to one single thing I had on my mind. When I thought I lost you and Bones, I thought my world was over. I thought I was the worse captain in the fleet. For losing the two important people on the ship. I would never have forgiven myself for the loss of my two best friends. You and Bones are like the world to me, family. Without you two. . . there is a empty void. A void in my heart. My soul, really. Nothing would be right for me. I can picture myself growing old and dying alone after my tenure in star fleet being over, you and Uhura together raising Vulcans or Vulcan/Human hybrids, Scotty being the head of some engine corps with Keenser, Bones living his life in Georgia, Sulu captaining another starship, Chekov moving up the ranks on different starships, and the Enterprise being decommissioned long after our departures._ "

"Logically, Nyota would die first and then  I would die soon after." Spock said.

" _And I know you would say, 'Nonsense,  I would die alone.' But here is the kicker, Spock." He heard a soft laugh. "You are never alone.  You got it all wrong for yourself. In reality we are never alone. Those we care about are there with us in spirit which I believe might be in your case. I know  Vulcans outlive humans. You got it all ahead. If I die before my time is up in this world then I will miss you. I would be remembered as the poster boy." He heard a sigh from over the audio tape. "I hate to be that kind of kid. It feels so wrong. If anything, I rather die as a person who isn't that kind of poster boy. A man who left his mark in star fleet history. Wait, I am getting off topic_."

"Jim. . ." Spock said.

" _Pike is going to be the best captain you'll ever have. I sucked at it. Maybe the next time I have it at a go . . . I won't screw up. I will happily take the consequences. I don't see us being on the same bridge in my future. Swinging into my retirement years. Maybe I will become a farmer? A novelist, maybe.  Now, that, I can strangely picture myself doing in my retirement years! I had my hand in romance and some adventure to fill a series of books. That might be just what I could do. I might become a bookworm, which I find it hard to even picture myself. Perhaps Captain Pike is going to be better than I was at being captain.  I know he will. He is Captain Pike, the one who got me into Star Fleet, and best of all . . . He will always be your first. The first genuine captain who is prepared for space and those aliens. Making sure the ship doesn't engulf into flames. That might be his lexicon._ "

"Jim," Spock said. "You were not _that_ bad at being  a captain."

" _I know you are going to say I wasn't bad at being a captain, but maybe I have to find myself. The inner Captain Kirk on my own. I'll be better the next time I step on the bridge." There was a pause. "You know, when I first met you I wanted to punch you multiple times for mentioning my father and strangle you to death. Funny how we reconciled our differences and those feelings turned into friendship. Speaking of which. . . We never got to finish that love fest_."

"That was not a lovefest." Spock argued.

" _I know you are going to say 'That was not a lovefest, Jim' but . . . It is a figure of speech, Spock," Jim said. "I find myself wondering how life will change for the crew of the Enterprise.  Maybe nothing will change just the leadership in it. I think back at the bridge knowing she is in good hands. If you are my friend, then why not you give it a go without me? It seems wrong without a Mr Spock exploring the universe in space. Criminal, even." Kirk paused, for this part meant the most. "You are a person who is seeking a place to fit in. We all are. I think you are still heading that way. That one place everyone is seeking: home._ "

It was illogical to feel mixed emotions. 

_"Goodbye, Spock, until we meet again," Spock could easily picture Kirk grinning. "End message._ "

The message ended there.

"Until we meet again," Spock said, staring at the black screen. "Jim."


	10. Hurt

_Dear Bones,_

_Being back at the academy brings back memories. It is almost deserted except for there being a new whole batch of students walking down the hallways. Most of them are sophomores. I am a junior compared to them.  Galia . . . I learned that she died aboard one of those ships that went to defend Vulcan. Oh god._

_Sincerely, James T. Kirk._

* * *

_Dear Jim:_

_We all lost friends that day.  
_

_From  Leonard McCoy._

* * *

_Dear Bones,_

_I was just approached by a man in black uniform. He handed me a datacard saying there is something I can do for Star Fleet. Said it was a simple errand. I am mulling it over right now. The number is right there.  I am halfway to completing my senior year in here! I have a bad feeling about this guy and this. . simple errand. It doesn't sit right with me. He mentioned Admiral Marcus  picked me for this specific mission. Geeze, am I that well known? Supposedly I am. He also claimed it would do Star Fleet some good. I haven't talked with Ambassador Spock since this whole ordeal had begun for me._

_How is our Spock, anyway?_

_I haven't been sending message much as I should . . . I feel guilty._

_Sincerely, James T. Kirk._

* * *

_Dear Jim:_

_Doctor McCoy has recently fallen ill and cannot respond to his letters until M'Benga clears him.  Doctor McCoy has been infected with a unusual virus that M'Benga is working to cure. My current state is fine.  Captain Pike's captaincy has been eventful. I have seen more than one letter that he did not send to you and I am curious as to why humans do not chose with the original. Then again the first reply is better than the failed previous letters. I was requested by McCoy to respond for him. It is your choice regarding the shady figure.  
_

_Doctor  McCoy also told me to write: fuck off._

_Which begs me to ask what you said in the last letter._

_Live long and prosper._

* * *

_Dear Bones,_

_I am going to accept the errand._

_I haven't replied in weeks because I have been getting ready for this simple errand which isn't simple at all. But it is 'strictly classified'. Shame, I really like to talk about it with you. I have been keeping up with my classes. If you were thinking I have not been replying due to Spock's reply then that is incorrect. As you see in the above paragraph. Spock has only assured me that the ship is in fine hands.  I have not been sending letters to Spock. I have been busy with school work. Turns out there are some people who look at me with envy. Being the youngest cadet to get a ship and then it being taken away from me. I haven't been cheating with the tests but I had some help studying._

_Guess you can call him my mentor._

_I call him: Jim._

_Wow, that sounds so weird._

_Admiral Jim._

_Maybe I am hallucinating him._

_But he is so real._

_Tangible._

_He is a bookworm unlike me._

_So different yet so alike._

_Claims to be my 'counterpart'._

_Though I am taking it with a grain of salt._

_Don't send me a message._

_I have a feeling I won't be coming back for awhile._

_Perhaps two months._

_Maybe forever._

_Live long and prosper._

* * *

_"Doctor McCoy, I am confused as to why you have insisted I be here while you read a personal letter." Spock said._

_"You have been sending him letters, have you?" Bones said._

_"Negative." Spock said._

_"God damn it, Spock," Bones said. "A human doesn't usually bid farewell with the Vulcan catchphrase. It is like he knows he won't be coming back."_

_"You are implying he is insane." Spock said, raising an eyebrow, hands locked behind his back._

_"I can believe his conscience is finally coming into form and telling him to do good," Bones said. "But insane? No. That is not Jim."_

_Spock lowered his eyebrow._

_"Jim has also claimed to not be sending any messages to me," Spock said. "And I do not intend to send him a message."_

_"And you are not even worried about him?" Bones asked, in horror._

_"It is illogical to be worried." Spock said._

_"He has been missing for two weeks,Spock," Bones said. "I checked. I don't want to be the only one on this ship that knows he is missing."_

Spock reviewed the conversation as he was at his station. Suddenly a pain erupted in his ears. The Vulcan's eyes winced as he turned away from his station clenching at the side of his head. Something was wrong. He could hear a familiar scream that was not his. It was a loud pained, high pitch scream. The pain in his ears became what was like a hollow electrifying pitch.  He could hear the sound of voices at the bridge. Pike requested for Bones's assistance. Spock's eyes closed feeling burning pain in his shoulders. Where was this coming from? Who was doing this? He felt as though he was moved from his present position onto a biobed.

There was pain ringing in his ears as the scream had faded.

"What is it, McCoy?" Came Pike's voice.

"Something is in his ear," Came Bones voice. "Nurse!"

The scream returned.

It felt like torture.

"Oh my god--" Nurse Chapel gasped.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Came Bones response.

"That is a part of a electric rod," Pike noted. "How did that get in his ear?"

* * *

Spock's eyes opened and he could feel a light throbbing in the side of his head. He touched the part where his ear was but it was wrapped. The distinctive pointy ears was visible to his other uncovered ear. He  got upright only to feel someone place their hand on his shoulder. He looked over to see Bones with that concerned yet grumpy-as-hell facial expression. He was saying something to Spock so he focused on the lips.

Spock could only get make out the word "Rest."

"You want me to rest, Doctor McCoy?" Spock asked.

Bones eyes widened then pointed to his ears raising an eyebrow saying something, Spock could easy see the words Bones was trying to say were 'Something is wrong with your ears'.

"This must be a temporary deafness," Spock acknowledged. "Not permanent as the pain is no longer a threat. I can read lips, Doctor McCoy." Bones picked up a tray then showed it to Spock earning a slanted raised eyebrow. There were _several_ pieces of the long metal rod with parts that suck from the side. It was coated in a liquid that was dark. It had a container that blocked the smell from coming out.  "A electric rod." 

Bones grimly nodded.

"Not your blood." Spock read Bones lips.

Spock noticed that the electric rod was covered in red blood. Spock lowered his slanted eyebrow.

"That is illogical." Spock said.

Bones shook his head then put the tray down on the table.

"It is Jim's blood." Spock read Bones lips.

"Illogical." Spock said.

"Thought you would say. . ." Bones turned away then picked up a padd and handed it to Spock.

On it read: **100% MATCH, CADET JAMES T. KIRK.**

 _Illogical_.

Spock looked up.

"How is this possible?" Spock asked.

"Beats me," Bones said, with a shrug.

". . . Doctor McCoy," Spock said. "When I was in pain, I heard a scream."

"Well, must have been mine," Bones said. "You scared the hell out of me."

"It wasn't your scream,in fact, it came before your assistance was required," Spock said. Bones raised an eyebrow. "It was Jim's."


	11. Visible, but not even there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Referring to Bones as McCoy started here. The previous chapters I found myself switching it to McCoy and changing it to Bones so here I am giving up that fight by referring to him as McCoy.

It has been one month and three weeks since Cadet James T.  Kirk went missing.

Spock's hearing had recovered.

"Our refreshments replenty themselves after one of them has been taken," Carcho, the leader of a civilization that had recently achieved Warp drive,explained gesturing over toward the table that had rows and rows of beverage and healthy snacks earning  a raised eyebrow from the Vulcan and a delighted expression on Pike's face. McCoy, however, appeared to be uneasy. "Would you require some water, Doctor McCoy?"

"No, thank you," Bones shook his head.

"I would, though." Pike said.

Carcho took a bottle of water from the shelf.

 _Something does not feel right_ , McCoy thought.

Even after serving under a new captain (who was technically his first) and serving alongside him on a few missions, it still felt . . . odd. Usually, by now, they would be either captured and the Enterprise and her crew of one thousand would be threatened sending her tumbling down through the orbit down to the planet side. Every time the Enterprise would be saved, and they would be out of harms way. But, under Pike's captaincy, nothing eventful happened. Nothing like being captured. Though McCoy would be plagued by 'odd feelings' about people. Ones McCoy didn't have before going into space.

McCoy dubbed it 'The Kirk Curse'.

" _No. . ._ " The voice was hoarse and familiar. " _I will not._ "

Spock looked over his shoulder with an eyebrow raised to see no one there.

 _Odd_ , Spock thought turning his head away.

"Mr Spock," Carcho said. "What is your favorite indulgent?"

"Vulcan fruit," Spock said. "And Plomeek soup."

"Ah, a vegetarian." Carcho said.

"Vulcan fruit is quite rare to find outside of New Vulcan," Spock mentioned. "And I would find it hard to believe you can replicate that which you have no record of."

"We recreate our food through memories," Carcho said. "And then we make it solid again."

McCoy eyed Carcho.

"So you can bring food to life by _memories_?" McCoy asked.

"Yes," Carcho said. "We have the crystalline ball that sends the data to our food reproduction machine."

The room they were in was apparently the 'show-off' one.

"Crystalline?" Pike said, lowering the bottle with a raised eyebrow.

"We have had it for two centuries and it aided in the restoration of our culture," Corcho said, with a fellow of his kind approaching appearing to be deeply worried and concerned. This was his personal advisor Karn who whispered into his ear.  A smile grew on Corcho's face then he dismissed his advisor. "The room is prepared for this hour."

* * *

 "All you must do is place your hands on the crystal." Karn said.

Spock placed his long bony fingers on the crystalline object.

"Then think about the fruit." Karn instructed.

For McCoy, the crystalline ball was attached to a strange machine that had several attachments that lead to a plate on what was a table. The room was decorated in pictures of the seasons featuring the strange antenna themed people with black fur having fun in them. There was something off about these 'Tarvians' that claimed to be peaceful. From all the empty halls, the seemingly redecorated suit of knight-like armor, the silver transparent cases with models in the shape of what was not inside the cases that once had held weapons replaced by artifacts, and it was so damn obvious they were pretending. Pike seemed to be oblivious to it all.

They had no reason to interfere . . .Yet.

 _Damn it, Jim,_ McCoy thought, _You are making me think like you_.

Spock closed his eyes and he brought the memory of eating a Vulcan apple. Juicy, sweet, tender, crunchy, and delicious. A lot like the Earth apple but it had a distinctive difference inside the core that were in the shape of triangles. Green apples with brown tips and green leaves. Spock heard a unfamiliar melody. His eyes opened to see a Vulcan apple laying on a tray. Spock reached his arm out toward the apple. There was a sudden pain in his stomach. Spock's hand went to the side of the tray and his eyes briefly closed. He grasped at his stomach with a sharp gasp.

"Spock," Pike came to his side. "What is wrong?"

"I feel a sudden pain in my stomach," Spock said. "As though I have been . . ." He cleared his throat. "Punched."

Pike's eyes darted over toward Karn.

"What kind of systems are you running inside this room?" Pike asked.

"Heating, oxygen, gravitational pull, self-destructive weapons, a laser planet canon that feeds off suns, a array of trees, planet side waste cleaners," Karn listed as Pike stood up narrowing his eyes at the Tarvian. "Fifty thousand clones ready to gear up if one dares to steal our jewel, and we plan to overtake whatever forces are in our way for galaxy domination--" He stopped mid-sentence realizing what he had just let out. "Shit."

"I must speak with Corcho, immediately." Pike said.

Karn took out a small device pressing a red button.

"That you will not." Karn said.

Ten guards appeared from out of the doors.

"I missed this," McCoy sarcastically said. "I was wondering _when_ this would happen."

 _I knew it IknewitIknewitIknewitIknewitIknewit! I knew it would happen,_ McCoy thought.

" _Never_!" McCoy looked over at the sound of Jim's voice.

McCoy caught the Vulcan unexpectedly falling to his side.

"Spock, are you okay?" McCoy asked.

"I . . do not know." Spock replied, rubbing the side of his cheek.

"Hand over your communicators," Karn said.  "You are outnumbered."

* * *

"Captain," Spock said. "I believe I understand what is wrong with me."

"What is it?" Pike looked over.

"I am feeling someone elses pain." Spock said.

"Who's pain?" Pike asked.

"It is--"

" **JIM**!" McCoy shouted, cutting Spock off.

Spock's head turned in the direction where the sound had come from. The bright room had transformed into a dark and cold one. Spock nearly gasped but he controlled himself from doing so. Gasping is illogical. Spock turned on the tricorder aiming in the direction he was staring at. McCoy went over to the figure then placed his hands on the side of the neck.

"Doctor McCoy, the cadet cannot be here,"  Pike said. "They must be pulling your leg."

McCoy's face turned white then he turned his head in the direction of Spock.

"Tell me I am loosing my mind, Spock." McCoy said.

"Negative," Spock said. "We have a emphatic bond with the cadet," McCoy looked over to the side of the man's left ear where he could see a swollen ear that had a infection, his hair had become ragged and unkept. "He may be here, but he is not. It is rare for Vulcans to form emphatic bonds with humans let alone. . . two."

"I have heard of that," Pike said. "The one where you are thinking of someone and it brings them there, right to them, for just a minute, and then they vanish into thin air back where they were."

"That is correct," Spock said, as McCoy lifted the man's head up toward him. "We are only capable of seeing him due to his current weakened state."

"Damn it, I should have said no." McCoy placed  a hypo against the man's neck.

McCoy looked over to see Kirk's hands were bound.

"Are you recording this for me to see when we return." Pike said. 

"Affirmative." Spock said. 

"Can it record what he is saying?" pike asked. 

"Affirmative." Spock said. 

A figure made the figure hurl forwards.

"Poster boy." The unusual alien man said with much bitterness to it then left the room.

Kirk's eyes opened to a nearly dark room. He had cataract in his left eye. That should occur on older people not young men. His shoulders loosened. His shoulders, dear god, they hurt. He could feel oddly wide awake then he had before. He looked over to see there a Klingon and a Romulan, Swarol (The Klingon) and T'Vell (The Romulan) both of whom were working together with Kirk for a specific mission. He could feel a hand steady him making him straight.

Star Fleet had claimed he was doing good. By stranding him on a Romulan  vessel full of Nero's ex-crewmates. The pain he suffered at their hands was cruel, his brain was sizzled at least five times, and he was brought back out of it. Jim, though, was the one who brought the young man back from the brink of death. Kept telling him to hold on. He claimed there was a nearby planet that he could rest but didn't have the adequate medical treatment for him but it would do.

Thank god he escaped out of a escape pod.

And that's when he came across T'Vell and Swarol, agents working to acquire a starship that was stolen from them. They were a unusual pair. T'Vell claimed her clavicle was broken by Swarol after they consummated their marriage. They were quite a odd couple who had conflicting opinions and they really, really, were wild lovers. Shared the same quarters. Claimed to have three children being raised by relatives. Too bad they didn't have any degree in medical surgery. He wore a hood over his head. 

Completely vanishing off the radar of Star Fleet.

Kirk had thought of contacting his friends.

But.

They could come back and try to finish off what they had started.

For the first time in both their lives, both Kirks were afraid for their lives and were unsure to trust. Jim insisted that Spock Prime not be brought into this. Kirk agreed on that point.  And then,while he was helping the unusual love pair, they were captured by Romulans and a pair of humans. Claiming to be part of Star Fleet Intelligence. Equivalent to the 20th century CIA.

"T'V--Vell." Kirk called.

T'Vell stirred.

Kirk cleared his hoarse throat, and spoke in Klingonese fluently.

"What the hell?" McCoy said. "He doesn't know how to speak Klingon!"

T'Vell's eyes opened.

"Mr Kirk?" T'Vell said. "Oh my god. . . they. . . they disgraced you."

"I'll be fine," Kirk had his smirk. "Let's get your mate unbound though." He fell forwards landing on his side. "Fuck it."

"You did not have to lie for us, Mr  Kirk," T'Vell said. "You could have easily come back to your federation."

"I don't know how I am going back and end up being killed in secret," Kirk said. "Sometimes I wish I never was born."

"Don't you say that!" T'Vell said.

"T'Vell, you are a Romulan, you never had to deal with a vengeful Romulan who took your father away and ended up taking away your class mates," Kirk said. "You have everyone." Kirk  moved his binds. "Now, I have to. . ." He moved his binds from side to side wiggling his fingers out of the tight grip. "Get my hands out and your Klingon husband out of here."

"We are not leaving without our ship." T'Vell said.

"You are more obsessed with your ship than the Titantic's captain!" Kirk said.

"That is because she is the first."  T'Vell said, proudly.

Kirk sighed then he broke apart the binds in half.

"Okay, need some help with your binds?" Kirk asked.

"No, as I have considerably less bondage then you." T'Vell said.

"For a Romulan, you are honest like a Vulcan." Kirk said, with a small smile as the side of his face was in pain.

"We share a common ancestry." T'Vell said.

Kirk worked his way on the binds wrapped around the Klingon's ankles.

"I sure hope they don't go after you." Kirk said.

"It wouldn't be logical to go after us, Mr Kirk." T'Vell said. 

"Please, call me Jim." Kirk said.

Kirk came down to his knee hearing a sharp sound.

"Oh god, not this again." Kirk said.

T'Vell ripped her binds off.

"Mr Kirk?" T'Vell towered over him. "Are you all right?" She placed a hand on the side of his head then she jerked it back as the feeling of electricity coursed through her. Her eyes had widened. "I am so sorry."

"Get him and go!" Kirk said, his head turned toward her.

Spock and McCoy could now clearly see the Romulan who lacked a right ear and she had Romulan characteristics with the V shaped part on the forehead and curly red hair. She helped up the Klingon as Kirk was knelt over with one hand covering his disfigured ear. She went into the darkness quickly leaving the man's shape behind. Kirk's other hand clenched around the floor as he supported himself up against the floor. He had shallow breaths feeling the pain in his ear worsen. He used the wall as his guide and brought himself forward. His curled fist around the item in his ear tightened. His grip became tight.

"If  Bones were here, he would say no," Kirk said. "Likely take my hearing away."

"IT WOULD!" McCoy shouted.

"Screw my hearing," Kirk said. "I have a brain to take care of."

Kirk ripped the item out of his hear with a scream dropping it to the floor. Kirk walked forward feeling dizzy and he closed his eyes trailing down the hall that which he was kept in. It was a 'monster haven' for a part of a starship that was heading somewhere. Kirk came to a control panel then he accessed the captain's log with a few cheats he had learned over the past month being on the run from Star Fleet. He trembled, leaning forward, in pain. He had listened to the log. This was a starship of monsters heading to Planet Earth. They thought leaving him and his friends at the dead end would suffice as they wouldn't do a thing. Well, they were wrong.

"Idiots," Kirk said. "Heading to Earth with these beings? They are mad. Faced them once: so long ago."

Spock reached his hand out toward Kirk toward his shoulder.

"Who's there?" Kirk asked, looking over in the direction of Spock.

There was no reply.

"I hear him!" Came a female voice. "Let's take them down."

Kirk sighed.

"Gotta face your demons, kid," Kirk said. "We all do."  He turned away from the control console. He grabbed a rogue phaser then aimed it in the direction of the thugs. "I am not afraid to use this."

"Do it." The second agent said.

 **B--blast**.

Kirk pressed the trigger.

And then the gun lost the fuel it needed.

"Back down, cadet!" The agent said. "You shouldn't be alive."

"Why?" The agent asked.

"Because you are that poster boy," The agent said. "And we want war."

"Not on my watch,"  Kirk said. "How many rounds do you got left in that phaser?"

"Five." The agent said.

"How about we do this man to man without weapons?" Kirk offered.

The agent dropped the phaser then he lunged at Kirk. Kirk used defensive blows at first then he graduated to offensive blows, doing a chop on the man's back. He sent  a punch right at the second agent's face knocking her down to the floor. Kirk turned around only to be knocked forward down to the floor back first where a ringing came screeching into his ear. He was determined on not dying. He wanted to prove something. That he could be anyone he put himself to be. The agent aimed the phaser at Kirk's face.

"Prepare to die." The first agent said.

"I don't believe in no-win scenarios."  Kirk said.

How we handle life is how we handle death and just as important, Jim recalled what he once said in his defense for cheating on the Kobyashi Maru. Kirk turned over missing the blast. Kirk got up in the speed of light then he applied the Vulcan nerve pinch. He ran down the hall. After his life being threatened a couple of times and being beaten, he was still walking with a limp.  Kirk ran down the hall where he felt a pain in his ribs.

 _Broken rib_ , Kirk guessed.

 _Actually, that is correct_ , Jim toned in.

The view sunk back to reveal the ready room with Pike appearing to be pissed off staring at the screen demanding for answers.

"I want answers as to why no one knew except, only except, for Star Fleet intelligence as to Cadet Kirk's where abouts," Pike said. "And as you have been named one of the men for recruiting a cadet on a suicide mission, with evidence and a video," This was a live video trial as he held up a datacard. "I am not the one to judge what happens but what can I say is: that is not what being admiral or being a officer is about. He's a kid. A whole life ahead of him! And you just shook his trust in Star Fleet, Mr Marcus."

"Thank you, Captain Pike," Admiral Streeter said. "We have much to question Admiral Marcus a about." Admiral Streeter's hand had balled up into a fist. "We will find him and request for this man on the run, after stopping a starship full of contagious aliens from infecting a large percentage of Earth inhabitants with a virus, to attend the end of the trial. It will take some time."

"Mr Streeter."

"Yes?"

"I would like you to relay a personal message to the cadet from a friend of mine."

"And what would that be?"

"How the hell did you learn Klingonese?

Streeter nodded. 

"That I will." Streeter said.


	12. Mental II

_There were two Kirk's in Spock's dream, one resembled the Kirk he had seen in the transporter, and the other was the one he had known for a year. They were sitting down in different chairs across from him. Logically this has to be a dream. They both had the same grin and they sat differently. Jim was sitting up straight. Kirk? Kirk was sitting inproperly, back slouched, and he looked otherwise fine. Too fine._

_It was as if nothing had ever happened in the past year to Kirk._

_Kirk looked over toward  Jim._

_"Can I tell him now?" Kirk asked._

_"It is about time." Jim said._

_Kirk turned his head in the direction of Spock._

_"Spock, meet Admiral Jim," Kirk said. "He has been helping me . . . a lot."_

_"Admiral Jim?" Spock asked._

_"I am his counterpart," Jim said. "And this is very real."  Jim looked over toward Kirk. "In your dream, though," Kirk's grin had turned into a smile. "We are only carrying this conversation due to the sudden psychic link that has been forged earlier than expected. I am the Jim ingenious to Spock Prime."_

_"So you are Kirk Prime." Spock said.  
_

_"Yes." Jim said.  
_

_"How long did it take for your link to be made, Admiral?" Spock asked._

_"Three years," Jim said. "You know. . . For being_ a _Spock, the only recognizable feature is those brown eyes of yours."_

_"In short," Kirk said. "The Vians brought him into my head and he was briefly in control. Tell Bones I am fine. Don't have to worry about me."_

_Jim nodded._

_"He is still alive because of my personal experience with being on the run from some alien government," Jim said. "Did that a lot with Spock on some of our missions on alien planets."_

_"And you never died in those instances?" Spock asked._

_"There were many miracles our Scotty could pull." Jim asked._

_"Admiral," Spock said. "Were you and McCoy my counterparts T'hy'lara's?"_

_Jim appeared to be disgusted._

_"Are you kidding me?" Jim said. "A threesome? No." He shook his hand. "Bones is a straight man."_

_"Threesome," Kirk said, amused. "I never done that before."_

_Jim appeared to be horrified._

_"Please don't picture what I think I am seeing." Jim said._

_"You are seeing it." Kirk said, earning a shudder from his counterpart._

_"Fascinating," Spock said. "Sharing the same mind."_

_"Look, Mr Spock," Jim said. "I only know of T'hy'lara because of a Vulcan mated to two men and my Mr Spock had to explain what it meant. I knew the variation T'hy'la by heart by then but hearing it was dumbfounding."_

_"I was able to record and change the perception of the event occurring that which,Doctor McCoy and I, were able to see," Spock said. "It took general editing and the usage of my our memories to make a clear coherent video. We have seen your current state, Jim, where else you will need medical attention." Kirk shifted up forwards in the chair. "You could have called us for help  but you did not.  McCoy and I were able to see your situation due to the same link we share with you. This did not apply to the captain as he had not been around you as long as we have. Logically, due to this profound link we are soulmates in this reality unlike the admirals." Jim shook his head lowering it down. "I have yet to explain what it means to share this link to Doctor McCoy."_

_Kirk clenched on the armest of the chair._

_"What situation?" Kirk asked._

_"Trapped with a Klingon and a Romulan in a dead end." Spock said._

_"I better go," Jim said. "I have some tidying up in the house to do."_

_Jim snapped his fingers and he vanished in thin air._

_Kirk stood up then walked over to the window that displayed a storm outside where thunder cackled outside._

_"Why did you not call us?" Spock asked._

_"How can I trust Star Fleet let alone where I am under a constant threat of assassination. Last night was no different for me." Kirk said, his voice low. "Why me?" He looked over to the side with his eyes lowered toward the floor. "I was just a nobody, not even that important to start off." Spock approached Kirk. Kirk turned his head away back toward the window. "I never wanted to be a moving target."_

_"Jim, you are someone." Spock said, by Kirk's side.  
_

_Kirk looked over toward Spock, his eyes had lost their bright shining hope and youthness to them._

_"And I have heard your desire to not have been born," Spock went on. "If you were never born then Star Fleet would be eliminated, as would Earth, and Nero would have caused his own death at the end of his onslaught. The Enterprise would have been destroyed due to the red matter being used numerous times. The universe would end then it would restart, repeat, until the right event happens and you are born. I would have died that day in the fight against Nero and my counterpart would have died in the destruction of Delta Vega. Without you, Jim, there wouldn't be Star Fleet."_

_Kirk sighed._

_"That is logical," Kirk said. "You know. . ." He looked over toward Spock. "My counterparts sometimes acts and talks like a Vulcan. It makes me wonder if that's in my future. Being with you."  His eyes met Spock. "With my current state, I don't know how that would be possible." He turned his head away then turned away from the window and walked a good five feet away. "Physical body scars?" Kirk shifted toward Spock. "The ones you don't see. The ones under the sleeves.  Can you stand to look at my scarred body?"_

_Spock walked over toward Kirk._

_"Jim," Spock said. "You look no different than I how I last you: emotionally, physically, and mentally."_

_"I am not the same man!" Kirk said, shaking his hands._

_Kirk shook his head as Spock took his shoulders._

_"You are perfect just the way you are," Spock said. "No matter what happens, you are still the human who cheated the Kobyashi Maru and saved Star Fleet." He let go of Kirk's shoulders. "You are perfection, Jim, no matter what is done to you. You are human capable of making decisions that most humans dread. You are ideally capable of being a captain.  Your katra will always remain the same. You are you. That's what I love most about you."_

_Kirk brought the Vulcan into a kiss._

_Spock could feel the warm energetic spark of Jim's mind in the kiss. It occurred to Spock that Kirk was quite really in a dream, mentally, with the Vulcan. Spock's hands wrapped around the backside of the young man's and he joined in the kiss. Kirk could feel a flame, hot burning pleasent one that didn't feel as harmful from a actual flame. It felt complete for Spock. After all, this was a make out of the minds not in physical bodies where the feeling would be different. Spock's hands slid down. They stood there kissing for what seemed to be quite a long time._

_Kirk broke the warm,pleasent kiss off with a sad smile._

_Spock tilted his head raising a arched eyebrow._

_"Was the kiss unsatisfactory?" Spock asked._

_"No." Kirk said._

_Spock straightened his head and lowered his eyebrow._

_"Then what is it?" Spock asked._

_"I was thinking . . ." Jim said._

_"My father will be pleased  if we continue this courtship," Spock said. "It is only logical to chose the one you care about deeply to grow old alongside."_

_Jim's hands came on Spock's chest (that was significantly colder than a humans chest but just about cool enough to sleep on)._

_"I was. . . I was. . . I was thinking how you won't remember this when you wake up," Kirk said. "Only I will."_

_Spock raised an eyebrow._

_"How will you remember?" Spock asked._

_"The other me told me: ones who travel through psychic links tend to remember," Kirk said, then Spock's eyebrow went down. Then Kirk had a heartfelt reply staring at Spock's eyes, "Thank you."_

_Spock looked down toward the human, even though he had no idea what he meant and he was processing what he was being thanked for._

_It occurred to Spock that this was a illogical dream._

_"You are welcome." Spock said._

_Kirk sadly smiled._

_"Wake up, Spock." Kirk said._

Then his surroundings changed into darkness and Kirk's face vanished. Spock processed the dream he had. Two  Kirks sitting in two chairs. One of which from The Prime Universe.  There was a certain bit of illogical to it. But it was logical in the way it was presented to him. Dreams are normally fragments of imagination and the memories that had happened prior. Spock could feel drawn down to his earthly body. He felt paralyzed in it at first. It occurred to Spock that he is undergoing sleep paralysis; one that normally occurs in mid-sleep when the viewer is in semi-consciousness. Spock experienced this numerous times in his childhood.

" _Tell Bones I am fine."_

Spock's eyes opened to the gray-blue med bay.

"Welcome back to the land of the living,Spock!" McCoy's voice came over from alongside. "We nearly lost you to the poison."

Spock looked over.

"And the captain?" Spock asked.

"He's lucky you used yourself as a shield." McCoy said.

"Doctor McCoy," Spock said. "I have been requested to tell you something very important."

"And what is that?" McCoy said.

"I am fine." Spock said. 

"I know you are fine, you pointy eared hobglobin!" McCoy said.

"You are mistaken,Doctor McCoy," Spock said. "I am simply repeating what Jim told me."

"Are you saying you met Jim in your catatonic state?" McCoy asked.

"More so dreaming, but yes," Spock said. "I did." Spock watched the man's face go pale. "But he was very alive. He was using our link to communicate. He wants you not to worry about him so much."

"Well, I'll be," McCoy said, folding his arms. "He has ears all over the place."

Spock stared at McCoy.

"That is illogical as he is currently somewhere off unknown," Spock said. "May I return to my duties?"

"Unless you promise not to scare the hell out of me like that again." McCoy said.

"I cannot keep promises under things that are not under my control,  Doctor McCoy." Spock said.

"Just promise me that." McCoy said.

Spock stared at McCoy.

"I promise."  Spock said.

* * *

 "You must tell us where Cadet James T. Kirk is." Admiral Chester said.

"If I tell you, will you kill him?" T'Vell said.

"No." Admiral Streeter said.

"I don't believe you." T'Vell said.

"Believe us when we say we are all for the cadet's safe return." Admiral Streeter said.

"I have known this terran for a month and he has gone through hell," T'Vell said. "He is safe, under-going surgery for his cataract left eye and his infected left ear." She pointed to the side of her head. "For the short period of time I have known this man . . .  I will not betray his trust. He could have easily been a captain undercover."

"What did he do to earn your loyalty?" Admiral  Chester asked.

"He saved my mate's life," T'Vell said. "And mine as well. He was helping us reacquire our starship."

"And did you?" The two Admiral's asked.

"Eventually, after we made it off the monster ship." T'Vell said.

"I have one question," Admiral Streeter said. "How the hell does he know Klingonese?"

"Swarol taught him," T'Vell said, her voice lowering. "When we met Kirk, he was vulnerable and didn't know rather to trust us. We have earned the trust that we have with him now. I am not breaking that trust."

"We will ensure Kirk does not get killed," Admiral Streeter said. "You have our word."

"If he were to return," T'Vell said. "He will be under OUR protection. You easily let someone die under your watch. He does not let in Star Fleet officers but only those he can trust right now. Trust is very crucial to the Terran." She shook her hand. "You may have guards at his door but the only place you have to worry is about the inside."

"I have a better idea," Admiral Streeter said. "To show you we are willing to protect the cadet."

T'Vell raised an eyebrow.

"Go on." T'Vell said.

* * *

There was a hooded figure walking down a hallway with a group of guards, at the head of them was Swarol who eyed them suspiciously. Strangely, Swarol lacked his mate T'Vell by his side. The figure had on a dark cloak and a dark hood with the head lowered.  The stride was reminiscent of Kirk's current state: wary, cautious, and closed off. The head looked over, darkness overshadowing the face, gazing in the direction of the onlookers who did not get a good look of the face.

The guards came to a stop at the doors that parted ways and allowed in the occupant set in the middle of the crowd.

The crowd dispersed leaving two guards at the door.

The cloaked figure sat down into the chair  within the room.

In a haze of gold appears a tall lanky holding a phaser who appeared to be somewhat disfigured due to some event in the past. The figure has large hands, pointy elbows, and unusual shapes on his skin. His ears were long and wide in the shape of bat ears coated in fur with smaller sets of eyes alongside his prominent eyes.  He had a strange pair of boots on. This is the first agent from earlier who had been nerve pinched.  The agent did not appear to be completely human at all.

"About time I do what I was supposed to do as requested by Admiral  Marcus," The agent said. "Sorry kid, for the well being of the federation future, some lives have to be sacrificed. You should know that like your father."

The hood was pulled back to reveal Lieutenant Commander Security Officer George Tawnoplace, a African American male, staring right back at the agent with hurt and betrayal in his eyes.

"Blake?" George said. "Blake Kottlemeyer?"  He stood up taking the phaser from the agent's hand. "You are under arrest for the pre-meditated murder of James T. Kirk." The two guards came in behind the agent. "Good god, you really let yourself go serving under the wrong Admiral."

The two guards placed stasis cuffs on his hands behind the agent's back.

"Right admiral," The agent said. "Wrong time."

"Get him out of my sight." George said, with a sneer.

* * *

The court martial was held in public, and live streamed. The charges up against Admiral Alexander Marcus were not mentioned in the news but only that it was 'the first time a Admiral was brought up for a Court-Martial in history'.  They were keeping it tight on why he was going to Court Martial. They had him surveillance to ensure he did not make another arrangement at the attempt of murder on a specific individual.  This  individual was under protective custody.

The papparazi was there when the hooded figure was walking up the stairs closely guarded.

"Who are you?"

"Why are you wearing a hood?"

"Sir, Mam, what is the trial about?"

"What is the charges against Admiral Marcus?"

"What did Admiral Marcus do?"

"Sir, Mam, can you tell us who you are."

The reply was rather hoarse and male like, "No comment."

The crowd met up with another crowd, where it as it seemed two cloaked figures were exchanged seemingly but they were identical and had the same height, even the humans were unaware that there was a exchange. The other cloaked figure made it to the door followed by officers dressed formally. A female figure, halfly distorted and deformed, approached the cloaked figure holding a phaser in one hand. Her face covered in dark, twisted intent. It was the kind naturally seen on a killer in the 21st century before they went to do a criminal act. The phaser was set to kill. She raised the phaser up and pressed the trigger aiming at the heart.

She fired it two times, just for dramatic affect. This was the second agent. Gasps escaped from the crowd as the figure fell back landing into the arms of the ones behind. The hood was pushed back to reveal the face of a Romulan woman,who was T'Vell with a smile on her face. The second agent stared in horror seeing the red head in the place where there should have been a human male. There was shock carried in the paparazzi standing around the Romulan. First of all: why was there a Romulan attending a Court Martial? Second of all: Why was there a Romulan on Earth in the first place?

"Jolan tru."  T'Vell said.

All the attention shifted to the second agent as the one holding  T'Vell lowered her to the ground calling out for help.

"Freeze!" One of the security guards moved forward holding his phaser to stun.

"Hands in the air!" The second security officer said.

Needless to say this was being broadcasted  to the Enterprise and every planet that fell under the federation category. On some planets this livestream was being pirated to those who were not in the Federation air space, because not every day was there a court martial over a admiral. Spock Prime, though, was indeed perplexed and fascinated by the airing as were other Vulcans. He could only wonder who was so important that they needed to have a double. A Romulan wasn't valued much as a Vulcan was in this reality. So either it was a Human, Vulcan, Androian, and so on.

"Fascinating." Spock Prime said, staring at the screen.

* * *

On the Enterprise, the screen was large enough and high definition that the littlest details stood out, namely to a certain Vulcan. The dream he had weeks ago had become all but forgotten as dreams are normally. The bridge crew could see everyone on the screen was where they should be seated. The admirals of four were at their seats.  Marcus was at the defendant chair with his defense attorney beside him. The four admirals were waiting for their first eyewitness. The doors into the court room opened  revealed a group of four officers, security officers really, surrounding the cloaked figure. They stepped aside allowing the figure to walk toward the chair.

Slow, well paced steps.

The figure did not look in the direction of Admiral Marcus.

The figure sat down into the chair, set across from the defense and prosecution table.

"Please take your hood off, cadet." Admiral Streeter requested.

The hood was pushed back to reveal Kirk, the left side of his face covered in scars that were still healing.  He had a left eye that seemed to be prosthetic, the new kind, good and healthy but otherwise it appeared like an android's synthetic eye. Kirk had a metal brace of some kind wrapped around his neck right at the atoms apple location. His hand was made of metal, apparently, not skin and bone. There were gasps from the crowd from behind the two tables. Most importantly McCoy's jaw dropped (he was watching this from Med Bay) and his face became horrified. Kirk had gotten a hair cut, recently, showing he had a prosthetic left ear. He had a dark scar along the side of his face curling along his lips in the shape of a question mark.

Spock Prime, on his end, was very surprised.

It was illogical for Commander Spock to feel sympathy for the human.

Pike was disgusted, visibly, by what state. 

The prosecution, Jack P. McCoy, stood up then came toward Kirk.

"Cadet, how did you meet Admiral Marcus?" Jack asked.

"I was approached by a man dressed in black," Kirk started. "And he gave me a card telling me that I was a ideal cadet for a certain mission that was a errand that would benefit Star Fleet. When I looked away from the card, the man had left. It wasn't until weeks later did I meet the admiral and talk it over."

"And what was this supposed errand?" Jack asked.

"To aid in the rescue of a missing star fleet captain who was out of Star Fleet space." Kirk replied.

"Did he mention who the captain was?" Jack asked,walking toward the stand.

"Richard Lee Boruto." Kirk said.

"And as we know, there is no Captain Boruto." Jack said.

"I was told he was captured prior to Nero's attack," Kirk said. "And they have been attempting to do rescue missions for awhile. Since I had a 'lucky streak', I was approached for the mission. They believed I would make a ideal candidate and do what they have been trying to do. I felt, though, a strange feeling about this mission. As though my life would never be the same after it. I was told he was on a vessel that mostly consisted of humans."

"And how did you find out that it was all a lie?" Jack asked.

Kirk took his prosthetic eye out placing it on the table and his prosthetic ear revealing a small hole that had been the entrance of a long blue tube. Gasps escaped from the crowd behind the tables.  McCoy closed his eyes with a shudder. Spock Prime felt disturbed by the state that the young cadet was in. Over all the realities that had to happen, this fate had to befall the young cadet. Spock Prime felt thankful that this never happened to Jim. The universe had become harsh for Kirk unlike the kind and welcoming universe their friendship had been forged in. Unlike the universe his best friend grew up in.

It was illogical for Commander Spock to feel disgusted.

"When this happened." Kirk said.

"Specifically, what?" Jack asked.

"It was a _Romulan_ ship,"  Kirk said. "It was . . . most of Nero's former crewmates."

Kirk placed his prosthetic left eye back into the socket and then he put his left ear back inside.

"Explain what else you went through." Jack said.

* * *

_It was a long time ago that T'Vell and Swarol had met Kirk, but they did not forget how it happened. They were at a bar having drinks, hands wrapped around their cups, deep in discussion on how to retrieve their prized ship. Swarol looked over, in the middle of the conversation, to see a brown hooded figure coming into the bar. Swarol could see the figure had on a hood. The figure dodged a drunken Deltan who fell over landing straight on their back. The hooded figure came over to the counter then placed a couple federation credits._

_"I would like some scotch, heavy scotch." Came Kirk's order._

_The voice was hoarse, alarming to the Klingon, and very distinctive._

_The Bartender took the credits off the counter then went over to the cup._

_"Heavy scotch will knock you down." Swarol said._

_The Bartender slid the cup on the table into the hands of Kirk where Swarol could see the left arm was covered in burns, radiation probably but maybe not, and looked as though it had been the unfortunate victim of skin eating bacteria. Swarol's eyes landed on the figure that did not respond. There were grunts and drunken singing going on in the bar. The slurring in the room made it sound like people from another side of planet Earth were here.  
_

_"Are you listening to a word I am saying,Swarol?" T'Vell asked._

_Kirk downed the small glass then put it down, trembling, lowering his head clenching at the side most likely in pain._

_"Swarol?" T'Vell asked._

_A droplet of blood landed on the counter._

_"One moment, my mate," Swarol said, turning the man in his direction. "What is wrong with you?" The man's face was jaw dropping familiar. The man who saved Earth and the federation, the man who had defeated Nero with a endangered race. "Captain Kirk?" He noticed the left ear was bleeding. His left eye appeared to be bruised. A ring of bruises was around his neck. "What in the name of Kahless happened to you?"_

_"Get your hands off me, Klingon." Kirk snatched Swarol's hand off his shoulder._

_T'Vell leaned over._

_"What the hell is up with his voice?" T'Vell said._

_"Nothing," Kirk turned away. "Another shot, please."_

_Swarol's eyes narrowed in the direction of Kirk then he put one hand over the cup preventing the bartender from taking it._

_"You just down a heavy drink, Terran," Swarol said. "And you should be laid on your ass right about now. So, as it seems, you are in need of help."_

_Kirk's eyes winced, briefly._

_"You have a vocal problem." T'Vell duly noted._

_"I agree," Swarol said. "You need a doctor."_

_Kirk stood up._

_"I do not need a doctor," Kirk said, standing up.  "And I certainly do not trust you."_

_"You are going to die without medical attention." T'Vell said_

_"I rather die than trust a Klingon and a Romulan." Kirk said, then he went out of the bar._

_The Bartender looked over toward Swarol._

_"Are you going to go after him?" The Bartender asked._

_"Hell yes." Swarol said, breaking the cup into pieces._

_T'Vell took out a handful of credits then handed it to the bartender._

_"It is on us." T'Vell said, as her mate went after the man._

_Kirk was pinned against the wall by  Swarol who lowered the hood down to see two pairs of eyes that seemed to be very stressed,and he saw a little stick like item sticking out of the left ear. T'Vell came over, they shared a glance, then Swarol nodded toward her. T'Vell delicately placed her fingers around the long metal rod as Swarol kept Kirk in place. They started to the count of three._

_Kirk screamed once it was out and he fell down to his knees._

_"Now, you owe us." T'Vell said._

_Kirk looked up covering his left ear._

_"Are you deaf?" Swarol asked, kneeling down to Kirk._

_Kirk closed his eyes, hearing sounds that were not there._

_"He has lost hearing," T'Vell said.  She looked over toward Swarol. "What is his most well known catchphrase?"_

_"He does not believe in no-win scenarios." Swarol said._

_T'Vell lifted the man up against the wall with her head turned in the man's direction.  
_

_"We are in need of some help retrieving a ship of ours," T'Vell slowly said. "And we know a medical expert to take care of the injuries you have received and we can give you the help we can." She stroked the side of his face noticing there were bruise marks alongside his cheeks. "An ice bag would do for your black eye, Captain  Kirk."_

_Kirk's eyes opened and he shoved T'Vell back staggering forward glaring at her._

_"I am_ not _a captain!" Kirk said._

_"Sure you are." T'Vell said._

_"I don't have a ship nor a crew," Kirk said. "I am a cadet." He snaked alongside the wall, cautiously, doing his best to walk away from them. He was both afraid and wary. "People are out to kill me. You don't want to be around me."_

_Swarol and T'Vell raised their eyebrows in unison._

_"Oh really?" T'Vell said. "I have plenty of people who want my head."_

_Swarol's hand wrapped around her side._

_"And mine too," Swarol said. "We are not phased by someone who has a bounty on them."_

_"I can't even help you." Kirk said._

_Swarol's hand unwrapped around T'Vell's side._

_"Yes, you can. You are Captain Kirk!" T'Vell said._

_"My utmost apologies," Swarol said, grabbing T'Vell by the shoulder taking her to the side. "We have been traveling . . . a lot. News like this comes very slow." He stepped forward. "I am a reformed Klingon, as for my mate, she is a reformed Romulan. We are not interested in creating hostilities, we only seek the only kind of help you can offer."_

_"And what is that?" Kirk asked._

_"Your skills in negotiating the return of a ship is legendary." T'Vell said._

_"If you call escaping from Klingon cells negotiating, you are mad!" Kirk said.  "How can I trust you  two with my life?"_

_Swarol frowned._

_"You are alive right now," Swarol said. "Are you not?"_

_Kirk paused, for a minute._

_"I am alive." Kirk said._

_"Unlike most Klingons, you are more valuable alive than dead," Swarol said.  "And once our business is over, we will go our separate ways."_

_Kirk held out his right hand._

_"Then it is a deal." Kirk said._

_"And you need a new arm." Swarol noted._

_Kirk had a smile._

_"I'll get that taken care of later." Kirk said._

_Swarol, instead, cut his hand with his dagger then took  Kirk's left hand then made a cut in the middle. He knew if they left him on the loose: Kirk would never get that replacement arm. Kirk had already lost his left arm but losing his right hand?  No, he wouldn't want to lose that. Surprisingly a little blood came out in the middle of the palm. Swarol put the dagger away then he shook the left hand of Kirk making the two exchange blood._

_"I promise my blood you_ will _get that arm taken care of." Swarol said._

_With a brain that miraculously survived being sizzled five times, and his left eye having difficulty seeing, Kirk could see there was  a genuine promising look on the Klingon's face. Kirk could register that this was a odd situation. The Romulan, however, seemed to be in a state of shock. It occurred to Kirk that he had been given a blood pact. Which is quite rare from a Klingon as they hardly ever do that.  They never ever did it with a human, probably because of their differences. He could not feel pain from his left hand, not at all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jolan tru means 'find peace', equivalent to 'Live long and prosper'
> 
> Jack McCoy is a reference to the man from _Law & Order_.
> 
> Boruto is a name reference to Boruto Uzamaki (I recently looked up Naruto yesterday and discovered he had a son, which was interesting least I can say. Spent half a day looking up Naruto and his friends and the next generation children.) Sounds like Burrito to me! Hahahaha.


	13. Emotional

_Star Date 2261._

**Chief Medical Officer's Log:**

McCoy paused, tapping his fingers on the counter replaying what he was going to talk about.

 **A mermaid alien woman was beamed into my med bay earlier this morning and has been placed into a tank**.

McCoy looked over toward the resting mermaid who had her arm wrapped in a type of material that did not get wet by water.

 **She refuses to talk**.

McCoy leaned back folding his arms.

 **Sometimes I wish the infant was still around because he would make any girl talk**.

McCoy had a laugh.

 **That's the part  I miss most about Jim**.

McCoy could hear the sound of a familiar voice from the other room.

 _Jim_?

 **End Log**.

McCoy stood up from the chair then he walked into the room expecting to see Kirk, alive and fine, his heart racing but instead he saw Chekov sitting on a chair babbling about how amazing Russia is. McCoy's heart slowed down to its regular beat. McCoy sighed, his excitement soured down. The doctor leaned his side against the doorway remembering what he had last heard of the kid. Last McCoy heard, the kid had received a new real arm that was replicated due to means that were not mentioned including a new eye.  Ever since the trial and the demotion of Admiral Marcus, they still didn't hear from him.

What little McCoy could guess is that Kirk went under Star Fleets personal witness protection program.

"Hello Doctor!" Chekov said. "She is a beauty."

The mermaid was in the left hand corner of the tank.

"She is afraid of you." McCoy said.

"Mermaids come from Russia," Chekov said. "She has the Russian bold spirit in her. She should not be afraid be me."

McCoy came over to the water tank.

"You are twenty, right?"  McCoy asked.

"Yes sir!" Chekov said, nodding rapidly. "I am planning a surprise party for Sulu." McCoy raised an eyebrow. "His birthday is in a week." Chekov rubbed his hands together deviously. McCoy lowered down his eyebrow. "I am planning to bring some of the plants from the botany lab as decorations for the birthday party. Mister Spock advises me that I treat them with respect like I do with a living being and to be discreet about it." He lowered his hands to his side. "Doctor, do you still have the Tennessian whisky?"

McCoy folded his arms.

"That I do." McCoy said.

"Yes!" Chekov said.

"How do you know I have Tennesee whisky?" McCoy asked.

"Well . . ." Chekov sheepishly said. "The kaptain and Mister Spock were kollecting whisky to get a entire groups of aliens drunk while you were down under." He pointed over his shoulder. "The kaptain bragged about how how many bottles he saw in your quarters--"

"Hold on," McCoy said. "That never happened."

"That it did," Chekov said. "Anyways, he explained that to save your life they had to konvince the aliens that they were powerful by getting _all_ of them equally drunk.  Mister Spock said, " _Wulcans do not get drunk on whisky,kaptain_." and the kaptain replied with, " _Sure you do, Spock! Just with khocolate_." Mister Spock raised an eyebrow at the captain, almost as though wondering who had told him. I gave him the highest grade bottles that I got from Teneslvi  IV. The kaptain said that  when they return that Mister Spock be in charge while the kaptain sobered up. Four hours later, the kaptain came back with Mister Spock, you, and there were no security members from the previous beaming koming back."

McCoy paused, then he had a sigh.

It sounded like a adventure Kirk and Spock would have gone on together, not Pike and Spock.

"Kirk is not the captain anymore." McCoy gently reminded Chekov, watching the man melt before his eyes to a sulking man.

"It feels odd Kirk is not around anymore," Chekov said. "Three years with Kaptain Pike? That feels short compared to the time I serwed with Kirk." Chekov looked over toward the mermaid who's eyes appeared to be afraid then his eyes darted toward McCoy. "Two years felt like fiwe years under Kaptain Kirk."

"How come you never went to a counselor?" McCoy asked.

"It never was a problem." Chekov said.

"I almost thought Jim was here talking to the mermaid," McCoy said. "It just turned out to be you."

"I miss him." Chekov said.

McCoy slowly nodded.

"I can bring the whisky before the party starts next week." McCoy said.

"Great!" Chekov said, a smile beaming on his face. "Eighteen hundred hours. I'll comn you the date!" He looked over toward the mermaid girl at the edge of the tank. "You look pretty."

Chekov walked right out of the med bay leaving McCoy with the mermaid.

* * *

 "Doctor McCoy, it is unpleasing to see that you have fallen asleep on the desk rather than going to your quarters to get rest." The Vulcan easily pulled the man back, his back meeting the back rest, and his blood shot eyes staring at the blue wall across from him.

Right, they picked up some refugees and things just became stressing. That was only after returning the mermaid woman to her people who promptly left the Enterprise alone and said something along the lines of ' _May the stars be ever in your favor'_ or ' _May the tides be ever in your favor'._ McCoy got them confused for one another. It reminded McCoy of the phrase " _Let the game be ever in your favor_ " from a fictional series that depicted children killing children in holodeck like situations.

"I am fine, Spock." McCoy said, shaking his head.

The Vulcan took his hand off the doctor's shoulder.

"You have been crying." Spock noted the pool of small water that outlined McCoy's arms.

McCoy got up  combing through his hair.

"I got something in my eye." McCoy said.

"Doctor McCoy, I know you are better than that," Spock said. "'And it is insulting you defer your emotional state to a piece of fine hair falling into your eyeball."

McCoy turned away from the door toward the Vulcan.

"Don't you miss him?" McCoy asked.

"Miss who?" Spock asked.

"Jim." McCoy said.

Spock hesitated.

"For all I know, he is likely living life to the fullest," Spock said. "Or he is still afraid for his own well being."

McCoy turned his head away.

"I prefer to believe the first part." McCoy said, walking out the door.

He needed a good shower.

"The latter is logical." Spock said, bitterly to himself.

Nurse Chapel came into the room holding a padd. A small device dame out of the wall's circular hole and went through the everyday cleaning process. He had been sent here by the captain to ensure that McCoy had, in fact, gone to bed. Emotion was illogical. But  then the memory of a dream, ever so faintly, returned.

" _Too bad you won't remember._ " Spock could recall Kirk's voice.

Spock had a perfect track record with  memories.

But dreams?

They were another story.

Spock, with his hands clasped behind his back, walked out of the room as Chapel greeted him with "Good morning, Mr Spock."

* * *

 "Mr Spock, with me," Pike said.

Spock got up from his station then followed after the older man, hands behind his back, and then they went into the turbo lift.

"Deck five." Pike said.

"Captain, what is it that we are going to?" Spock asked.

"We are going to Earth," Pike said. "Urgent meeting at Star Fleet command." Spock raised an arched eyebrow. "Forty-two people died at the Kelvin Memorial Archive. A friend of mine was there when it happened. She didn't make it."

Spock lowered his eyebrow.

"Number One." Spock said.

"Yes," Pike said. "How do you know?"

"We have had correspondence but today she did not reply," Spock said. "I grieve with thee."

"Spock, I have one very urgent question." Pike said.

"Ask away." Spock said.

"I know it isn't my place to ask but why exactly did Amassador Selek also insist to me you would make a excellent first officer?" Pike asked. "Tell me, is he your grandfather?"

"Negative," Spock said. "He is me."

Pike turned in the direction of Spock.

"Who is he to you?" Pike asked.

"He is from a Alternate Universe where Cadet Kirk never befell the events that Admiral Marcus put into place and instead commanded the _Enterprise_ from 2264 to 2269.  Eventually becoming an admiral as you were. He stressed that the friendship between Jim and I would define us both as individuals," Spock explained. "We also saved the entire planet many, many times. Spock Prime is very fond of you. Nero referred to me as he knew my counterpart, as such, it would make sense now why he spoke to only me upon his second encounter."

"Admiral. . . Admiral James T. Kirk?" Pike asked.

"He is dead," Spock said. "Though my counterpart would like to believe the Nexus holds a copy of him. He has been dead for ninety-seven years for my counterpart. As you humans say: it was heartbreaking to see the cadet."

"This is just between you and me." Pike said, turning back forward.

"Affirmative." Spock said.

"Spock." Pike said.

"Yes?" Spock asked, his head turned toward Pike.

"Tell me I am blind what the state of my current crew is." Pike said.

"Negative," Spock said. "They are only dealing with their emotions over the numerous missions that they have been put through. The bridge is always changing, but perhaps, there are some who are stuck in the past. Serving under someone for so little time and then another for so long, one does find themselves missing the one they knew the best."

"How well did they know him?" Pike said.

"Much as I do about you," Spock replied. "I assure you captain,their work has not suffered because of it."

The doors opened to deck five.

* * *

Admiral Chester was in the middle of the room sitting down, hands together eyebrows furrowed  almost knitted together.

There were countless other captains and their first officers in the room. Spock felt like the black sheep without his captain, technically his second captain, in the hot seat beside him.  He scrolled down looking at the images. Something that Kirk would do if he were there. Countless deaths and injuries resulted from the explosion in The Kelvin Memorial Archive.  If Kirk were here, this would be a very personal matter. Spock heard former Admiral Marcus being mentioned. Pike looked over toward the Vulcan.

"Spock, what are you doing?" Pike asked.

"Something is not right about this." Spock said,

"Nothing is right with the loss of forty-two people." Pike said.

"Mr Spock, do you have anything else that you wish to add?" Admiral Chester asked.

"There is one significance that stands out," Spock said. "Mr Harrison is holding a bag in this aftermath image," He tapped on the screen. "If he would have wanted to inflict more causalities then he would have gone straight to the academy which would be more logical and reasonable for his death count." Spock's hands came together on the table. "But instead he decided to arrange this. A Terrorist attack would surely result in meeting to get all the key captains and first officers dead."

Captain Warheart started to get up seeing a flash of light.

"Everyone, duck--"

Warheart is the first to go down. Pike was the next target as bullets flew through the window shattering the glass into several pieces flying into the room. Admiral Chester went out of the firing reach. Spock turned his chair over ducking down out of the way then grabbed his captain by the collar and swiftly brought him out of the line of fire. Spock brought up against the wall.  Pike was unable to speak. Blood tickling out from the corner of his mouth. Spock placed his hand on the side of Pike's head conducting a mind meld. Captain  Abbot  used his fist to smack open the glass door to the fire-hose then connected it around the phaser rifle.

Angerish, anger, loneliness, and fear.

And then the life went out of Pike's eyes.

* * *

 Spock was in his apartment going over the death of Christopher Pike, sat on a meditating pad, struggling to clear his thoughts. This was more difficult than the death of his mother. He was consumed in emotions that were not were unlike Vulcan ones. He cleared his mind. He thought of life as a river and himself a leaf. The leaf was crashed upon by the waves. The very basic fact about this is that Spock was compromised. 

**Beep.  Beep. Beep**.

Spock's eyes opened, then he took the communicator off the counter beside him then flipped it open.

"Spock here." Spock said.

"Mr Spock, I got where the terrorist went, and you are not goin' tae like it." Scotty said.

"Where?" Spock asked.

"Qo'nos." Scotty said.


	14. Physical

"Get those torpedoes out of here!" Scotty said.

"Mr Scott," Spock said. "I have done everything in my power to prevent these from being taken  but it is very paramount they are allowed in. They are an optional--"

"Then I QUIT!" Scotty said.

There was silence in the room.

"Very well then," Spock said, clearing the air.  It took a minute for  Scotty to realize what he had just said. "Mr Scott, you are relieved of your duties."

Spock looked over toward the recently assigned science officer, Carol Marcus, studying one of the vessels in a manner as though she were a child. It was fascinating, least Spock could say. Not many humans like her had a distinctive 'I want to dissect this torpedo and make science with it' look in their eyes staring at a torpedo. Spock knew if Kirk were in his shoes, he would have done the same to avenge Pike and acquire the killer. Seventy-two torpedoes in total. They had a new first officer, David Wallace, assigned to the ship. Admiral Chester had insisted that  Spock be the lead after Spock had let him in on what the chief engineer had found.

* * *

 "Where are you going, Scotty?" Chekov asked, holding a crate of bottles in his arms and Sulu was taking the extra luggage that Scotty packed.

"Where I goin'?" Scotty said. "Preferably somewhere that does nae have  those oversized torpedoes in my engineering!"

Sulu and Chekov exchanged a glance.

"What torpedoes?" Sulu asked.

"The captain has nae told you?" Scotty asked.

"No, he has not." Sulu said.

"SEVENTY-TWO highly advanced torpedoes being taken on a mission tae cut off the head of a nasty snake," Scotty said. "Seventy-two torpedoes is OVER-KILL! I do nae know where they come from or what is in them, but highly advanced missisles?  Not on my engineering bay!"

"We will miss you." Sulu said.

"First Kaptain Kirk, then Kaptain Pike, and now you?" Chekov said. "It is like the domino effect taking hold on the Enterprise to the most important people!"

"Well, everything changes on its own accord." Sulu said.

"I don't like how khange around here is being taken," Chekov said. "Being a red shirt? You know how the red shirts get killed off in the landing parties.  The red shirt kurse could get me!" Sulu laughed, shaking his head. "I am too young to die."

"You are not going to die." Sulu said.

"Tae experienced tae die," Scotty added. "You are tae valuable tae be killed, lad. Long as you are on the ship, nothin' goin' tae happen tae you."

"Safe for you to say." Chekov grumbled.

They went through the doorway leading to the transporter.

"Thank you for the help." Scotty said.

"You are welcome." Sulu said.

"We would do it, again, for you." Chekov said.

Freenser came with  one luggage into the transporter room. Chekov placed the crate of bottles on the transporter pad and Sulu put the two luggage on the third rounded sphere. Chekov politely came over to the engineer at the console then requested to be the one who did the beaming. The engineer stepped aside allowing the young Russian  to place his fingers on the two bars placed on the screen. Sulu got off the transporter then came to Chekov's side.

"Beam me down, Chekov." Scotty said.

Chekov slid the bar up, slowly.

In a golden flash Scotty vanished before the two's eyes.

Chekov's shoulder's sulked and his head lowered down toward the dark console.

* * *

_Jim, long ago, after the proceedings, had immersed into the novels that Kirk had left around. This kid read a lot of stuff. He didn't pay attention to what was going on around him. The room fell dark growing his attention upwards. Jim placed the novel on the counter beside him. He came down the stairs where he saw the living room. He could see Kirk's figure standing in the middle of the living room on his knees, his shoulders going up and down, and what sounded like crying coming from the poor boy._

_Jim flipped the lights on and off._

_Nothing worked._

_"Kirk?" Jim called._

_No reply._

_"Kirk?" Jim repeated, coming down. "Come on, kid, what is wrong--" Jim tripped and fell down the stairs landing on his back. His eyes stared at the ceiling, blinking. "That would have hurt."_

_No response._

_"Kirk?" Jim called, getting up._

_Jim went into the living room where he approached the boy._

_"The ship. . ." Kirk cried. "She is gone!"_

_"What ship?" Jim smoothly asked, placing one hand on the man's shoulder. "Was it the Enterprise?"_

_"No," Kirk shook his head. "My Klingon ship." Jim took his hand off Kirk's shoulder stepping back and his eyes faced toward the TV screen that showed debris all over the place in space including some bodies of Klingons. "A large Star Fleet vessel fired at us, we negotiated, Swarol knocked me out, and then I am sent out through a escape pod. THEY DESTROYED MY SHIP!" Kirk stood up. "My ship."_

_"You work with the Klingons?" Jim asked. "Are you nuts?"_

_"They were the only ones I could trust."  Kirk said._

_"And you are in a escape pod." Jim said._

_"Yes." The screen turned to black, sizzling various images, of replaying the events that lead to the situation they were in. "Swarol was the only one I could trust." Kirk looked up toward Jim. "Those who I call? Someone finds me and then I have to skip the hell out of dodge. I had to ditch my life as James T. Kirk behind and become Warren. Warren Montegrio. Criminal, rogue explorer, and Klingon leader. I have been practicing on my Russian. But the ship I lead? It was reformed. Purely for exploring purposes. We were just coming back to Earth for a quick visit behind the moon and beam me down to Earth to visit my mother in Iowa."_

_"I am sorry," Jim said, then he sat down into a chair. "Perhaps you can fill me in what kind of hell you got into."_

* * *

"We caught a pod, made of gel,  a new type of escape pod," Carol reported. "There is a human being inside of it." She turned away from her science station. "Captain, I believe you may know this man."

Lieutenant Judson looked up from his station raising an eyebrow as did Sulu.

"Mr Judson, what is the pod in?" Spock asked.

"Warp six, captain." Judson replied.

"Mr Sulu disable their warp abilities with a phaser blast." Spock said, his fingers tapping on the arm rest.

"Aye captain." Sulu said.

A phaser blast struck the gel stopping it in warp.

"Beam them to med bay," Spock stood up from the chair. "Mr Wallace, you have the conn."

The Vulcan walked out of the bridge, hands behind his back then he went into the turbo lift and muttered, "Deck five."

Sulu looked over toward Judson.

"How many men do you think Mr Spock knows?" Sulu asked.

Judson shrugged.

"A lot," Judson said. "Over nine hundred."

Wallace sat down into the captain's chair.

* * *

McCoy nearly dropped what he was doing seeing a familiar figure encased by what was some form of water. This wasn't the first time he had seen a gelled figure. In five minutes, with a machine that removed the gel, the figure was fresh on the table with a growing bruise along the side of his head. Kirk had on a leather jacket, dark shirt, jeans, and large boots. Kirk also had forehead ridges that were not there before making it seem that he underwent genetic surgery. It was obvious because Kirk still had _hair_. Kirk's left hand appeared to be organic based.

Spock came into the med bay.

McCoy noticed around Kirk's neck was a necklace that had the shape of a familiar starship but it was different. It didn't have the sleekness that it had as known by most of the crew. It looked like  a prototype of the original _Enterprise_. In fact it had the distinctive little text lettering reading ' _USS Enterprise 1701'_. It _was_ the _Enterprise_! A different version. There were dents, scratches, and it seemed to be the victim of time. It still had a shine to it.

"Spock, where did you get him?" McCoy asked.

"In space, Doctor McCoy," Spock said. "Heading in Warp Six in the direction of Qo'noS." He looked over toward the man then back to  McCoy. "I would like a word with him."

"We have no idea if he is going to be happy about it." McCoy said.

"Doctor McCoy, there is no chance that we will get the reaction we both want from him," Spock said. "As he is armed with a Klingon dagger."

McCoy placed the hypospray against Kirk's neck.

"Nooo!" Kirk screamed, drawing the attention of Nurse Chapel as he lunged forward with eyes wide and Spock put forth his arm blocking the man from attacking the doctor.

"Jim, you are safe now." McCoy said.

"My name is Warren," Kirk said. "I do not know anyone by the name of fucking Jim." Spock stared at Kirk, in shock. Kirk was acting unlike himself. But his acting was familiar, pretending but more executed well that it seemed he  was a totally different person and very wary. "Let me go, you Wulcan!"

"Jim, it is illogical to claim you are someone else." Spock acknowledged.

Kirk's eyes narrowed at Spock's direction.

"My name is Warren Montegrio," Kirk forced Spock to take his hand off his chest.  "And who the hell is Jim?" McCoy looked over toward Spock, startled, then back to Kirk. "I know no one by the name of Jim."

"He can't have dementia _this_ early." McCoy said.

"The man who single handedly raided a science starship with Klingons in order to retrieve specimen being a crossbreed of falcon and human last month, disturbed a treaty between Romulus and The Federation, went against the prime directive multiple times, and the temporal time directive as well among other things?"

"I newer went against the temporal time directive," Kirk said. "I do not recall doing it."

"You were there during the first contact with Vulcans and humans," Spock said. "You crashed their meeting seeking for a Vulcan named Spot and claimed he was a shape shifter along with numerous Klingons under disguise surrounding you. You were also in 1964 when a documentary regarding the possibility of starships. Your contribution was concealed further by the governmental authorities. I can list countless others of your influence in human history."

"No, I distinctiwely remember being off planet," Kirk said. "My landing parties kocumented kountless Class  M planets that diwerged off Earth timeline, about siwty-three. But since they did not fit the kriteria of making kontact, we stayed low and ewentually returned to the ship after retriewing our kommunicators."'

"You have made more infractions than any other captain." Spock said.

"On the Wulcan kontact, we had to interfere," Kirk said. "Much as I hate the federation, my own history would hawe been erased and quite possibly yours. That shapeshifter was intending to fire at the man and start a war. We kould not stand around that. It goes against ewerything I believe in!"

"There are people who can fix things discreetly." Spock said.

"But we never met them, Mr Wulcan." Kirk said.

"My name is Spock." Spock said.

_"Kid, maybe you should drop the act and just tell them." Jim said, softly._

_"No," Kirk said. "Get too close, and I might just kill them."_

_"That is logical." Jim noted._

_"Your complains are duly noted." Kirk said._

_Jim looked over toward Kirk in shock._

_"You talk like your Captain Spock." Jim said._

_Kirk looked over with a smile._

_"Sometimes using his example of leading a life helps me," Kirk said. "It has really helped."_

"Damn it, Jim, stop it!" McCoy said, grabbing Kirk by the collar right toward him. "I know you are acting--"

"This is nothing compared to watching my entire ship blow up." Kirk cut him off.

McCoy let go of  Kirk's collar. 

"Can you speak Klingonese fluently?" Spock asked.

Kirk grinned then spoke in Klingonese.

"You know a 'I can' would just do." McCoy said.

"That would hawe been more konvenient for you." Kirk said.

Kirk had said in Klingonese, " _Yes, Mr Spock, I can_."

"That is the only thing that matters," Spock said. "You may be of some use to us."

* * *

"I don't like the idea of using someone we know," McCoy said. "It is like he is on a self destructive path."

Spock was dressed in a dark uniform while Kirk was still in the attire he came in waiting in the starship that was confiscated last month from a Bajoran-human hybrid with the last name Mudd. It was known as the Mudd incident as it involved former Captain April. Spock was walking down with McCoy to the hangar area. They had already sent a threat down to Qo'noS on the readings where John Harrison had last beamed himself to.

"Whatever purpose he has and believes he is doing," Spock said. "He will tell us. Until then, we are dealing with a highly intelligent criminal who wouldn't give a second thought ditching federation officers."

"How do you know so much about  Warren Montegrio?" McCoy asked.

"Pike had some dealings with him," Spock said. "When I wasn't there. I took the liberty of searching him up."

"And you weren't there?" McCoy asked.

"Negative." Spock said.

"Why is it that?" McCoy asked.

"I do not know," Spock said. "He requested I stay on the bridge the first time around and afterwards he made it mandatory whenever he made these visits."

 McCoy sighed.

"I can't believe I am going to say this," McCoy said. "But I miss when he was just _James T Kirk_. When he trusted us _and_ in the federation. It seems like everything changed when we came across Nibiru.  I wish we never came across it! Maybe he is a different man but he has those crystal blue eyes that see through your soul. So it has to be him. Jim is the only kid who has those bright blue eyes from anyone I ever met. And what did we do with him? _We_ lost him!"

Spock got in the way of McCoy.

"Doctor McCoy," Spock said. "Rest assured, _we_ will get him back."

"When you put it that way," McCoy folded his arms with a sharp grin. "I am assured you won't die on it. I know this is going to give me nightmares of you dying but don't die on me you pointy eared hobgoblin. Bring our friend _home_."

Spock nodded.

"I will." Spock said.

Spock went through the  doorway leaving a worry striken McCoy.

"And bring yourself back in one piece," McCoy said. "Spock."

* * *

"--those red shirts off, if we are going to Qo'nos, there should not be any ties between us and Star Fleet." Kirk said.

Spock was surprised to see Kirk ordering two men.

Wallace was glaring easily through Kirk's  forehead.

"That is logical." Spock said.

The two officers took their red shirts off then Kirk went into the starship with hands in his pocket.

"Captain," Wallace said. "Why are we bringing the most well known criminal in the galaxy to Qo'nos?"

"Commander, I understand your concerns regarding Mr Warren's character but he will be handled after we get Khan," Spock said. "And he will be prosecuted once we return to Earth for his crimes."

"I feel much better now about it." Wallace said,then he got in following the two security officers.

* * *

 "Christopher Pike died yesterday on a attack in Star Fleet HQ as did Captain Braveheart," Spock said, shortly after the ship had gotten out of Enterprise. "This attack was posed by John Harrison. The very  man we are going after on the planet surface of Qo'noS."

Kirk looked over toward Spock, clearly in dismay and hurt.

"So that is why you are captain?" A accentless voice came from Kirk.

"Affirmative." Spock said.

Kirk turned his head away.

"Hey, aren't you Russian?" Wallace said.

"I thought Pike would hawe left the ship to you by then. . ." Kirk said. "So, Mr Wallace, hawe you ewer fought a Klingon?"

"Negative." Wallace said.

Kirk had a short laugh.

"You are wery unfortunate," Kirk said. "It is quite fun."

"Lieutenant Uhura and I broke up last year." Spock said.

"Poor you." Kirk said,

"I am not unfortunate to have known the lieutenant." Spock said.

Kirk sighed.

"Was this your first time  breaking up, Spock?" Kirk asked.

"Affirmative."  Spock said.

"Was there krying involved?" Kirk asked.

"There was no tears." Spock said.

"I meant about you." Kirk said.

"I did not have any tears." Spock said.

"Captain, I do not understand why you are sharing personal information with a criminal." Wallace said.

"Making conversation on a ride that has ninety-six point thirty-two percent chance of death is logical," Spock said. "I prefer to have the last word."

"I am not surprised." Kirk said.

 _Jim briefly closed his eyes, thinking back, to the memory of Spock dying behind the window. It hurt, god, it hurt as the Vulcan passed away. It hurt him deeply by the inside. It was like watching his other half be yanked away forcefully. The hours afterwards that passed were slow even the minutes, it was like being hyper accelerated in time again. There was a void inside his heart. Sometimes what people said came out as 'yadah yadah yadah' or 'blah blah blah blah, Spock, sorry, Kirk, captain, damn it Jim! blah blah blah blah, Enterprise, blah blah blah, Spock's katra,Spock's body alive._ '

_The last part when it came out brought the man alive and his hoped brightened._

_"Are you okay, old man?" Kirk asked, placing a hand on the counterparts shoulder_.

_"I have to tell you something," Jim said. "About how my Spock died."_

_"But he is not dead." Kirk said, puzzled._

_"Spock was, but he came back," Jim said. "I will tell you when we're not busy going down to Qo'noS." Jim sighed hearing the conversation being exchanged between Spock and Mr Wallace. Spock was not in his yellow shirt or in a Star Fleet uniform like his first officer. "Your Russian accent is remarkable." Kirk took his hand off Jim's shoulder. "Did you use Chekov's accent?"_

_"I did a bit of research on my own." Kirk said, beaming with pride._

"And Chekov is the new chief engineer." Spock continued.

"Chekov?" Kirk said, alarmed.

"Affirmative." Spock said.

"You are pulling my leg." Kirk said, turning his head away.

"I do not kid." Spock said.

"Then why is Scotty not the chief engineer?"  Kirk asked.

"He quit." Spock said, quite bluntly.

Kirk raised an eyebrow.

"Why?" Kirk asked.

"He did not like the idea of seventy-two vessels resting in his engine room nor the fact that Star Fleet insisted we take to take out John Harrison," Spock said.  Kirk's right eyebrow lowered down. "For now, they are optional and trained at the coordinates that John Harrison last beamed down to."

"Hey, how does  Montegrio know Mr Scott's nickname?" Wallace asked.

"I met Scotty in person," Kirk said. "He helped us out a few times when we came across the _Enterprise_ and went our separate ways. Swarol did most of the view screen talking."

Suddenly three Bird-Of-Prey Patrol starships appeared.

"Being hailed, captain." Wallace said.

"On screen." Spock said.

There was a Klingonese reply, "This is Captain Putok of the Klingon Patrol Force, what brings you here?"

"We are here to retrieve a traitor who has no honor in killing others unjustly." Kirk replied in Klingonese.

Putok's eyes glowed at the familiar voice.

"Ah, Captain of the _New Kelvin_ ," Putok's voice was thick in Klingonese. "You lack your Klingon friends."

"They were murdered." Kirk replied.

"By whom?" Putok asked.

"The _USS Vengeance_." Kirk said.

The Klingons on the screen recoiled. Spock and Wallace looked over to the stoic faced human male who had one hand wrapped around the silver dangling ship to his necklace. They were puzzled as to why Putok reacted the way he did.   Putok briefly closed his eyes, visibly disturbed, then he reopened them. A sly grin spread on his face recognizing the faces of the two other officers.

"You are working with Star Fleet, aren't you?" Putok asked.

"I am a temporary translator." Kirk said.

Putok smiled.

"Your friends cannot help you now." Putok said.

"They are not my friends." Kirk said.

Putok's smile faded.

"I have admired your captaincy with your Klingon Warriors and been in awe how they defended you from the other Klingons," Putok said. "Can't be saved by them now."

The screen turned to black.

"DRIWE, NOW!" Kirk resorted to English.

The starship flew through the air chased by the three Klingon Crusiers.

"What the hell?" Wallace said. "Aren't you supposed to be helping us?"

"SHUT UP, WALLACE!"  Kirk said, sending the force-field up reflecting the laser strikes.

"We have to turn the ship sideways." Spock said, nonchalantly.

"We're going to lose a majority of the ship if we do that, captain!" Wallace said.

"I don't believe in no-win scenarios." Spock said, earning a look of shock from Kirk's face.

"In short, we'll make it." Kirk said.

_"That's my line." Kirk and Jim said._

_"I suppose you rubbed off this Spock more than I did with mine." Jim said._

Kirk turned his head away then shook off the look of shock. The ship turned sideways going through a large crack  of the sorts made by two towering mountains. One of the Klingon Crusiers, idiotically, crashed against the wall. Kirk had a grin on his face. Wallace had a horrified expression set about his face while Spock seemed to be not-so-emotional one among the bunch. The two security officers  clung to the handle. It was a chase that was commenced. Spock relied on the fuel cells to make their escape evading the other Klingon patrol. The electrical storms in the area made the flight turbulent.

Eventually they came to a clearing that was foggy and out of the storms reach.

"I believe we have out ran them." Spock said.

"They are likely jamming our sensors."  Wallace said.

"True,true." Kirk said.

"And there is a good chance we are surrounded by them." Wallace said.

Kirk looked over toward Spock.

"Got any last words, kaptain?" Kirk asked.

"We should land the ship and attempt to negotiate by giving you over to them and searching for the terrorist," Spock said. "Logically, Klingons outside of your community of Klingons do not share the same respect and fondness  toward you as the ones you have served."  Kirk wondered, _did Swarol attack the Vengeance first in the name of some one they knew to grant them entry to Sto-vor-kor?  Or someone else, for that matter?_ Swarol had already granted T'Vell entrance  to Sto-vor-kor last year.   "I can only estimate Klingons do not like you."

"That makes the two of us."  Wallace said.

"You are wery human, Spock, for a Wulcan." Kirk said.

"I will not sit here and be insulted." Spock said.

Kirk fought back a smirk.

"Let us land this little baby." Kirk said,revealing a small smile.

"Mr Montegrio," Spock said. "This ship is not a baby."

"Kompared to the _Enterprise_ ," Kirk said. "It is."

"I agree." Wallace said.

The sphere shaped starship with uneven edges landed on the ground with the large smooth shaped landing gear coming down. There was a thick cloud hovering above the small cargoship. Kirk was the first to get his seatbelt off with a small metal ' _click_ ' ending the temporary silence that befell the inside.

"If we don't get our exchange with you then we will get tortured, interrogated, and killed," Wallace said, warningly. "You better be that worth it."

Kirk flashed a smile.

"Wallace, I am worth two ships when it komes to making enemies and doing what is preferably right," Kirk said, pressing a few buttons at his station getting up. "You better use those redshirts--" He gestured over toward the men. The side door to the cargoship opened followed by a small metal staircase leading up. "To either fire or get the hell back to the ship and take your khances."

"Your advise has been noted."  Spock said.

Of all the adventures Kirk has embarked onto,  he has gone on a journey and he has found the inner captain inside. He has found the inner Captain James T. Kirk. Danger, women, going against the rules, and creatively using the prime directive at times. He got a kick out of it! It was thrilling. Fun! Kirk  headed toward the doorway hearing from Wallace, "I detect Klingon cruisers surrounding us." Of course finding himself had come with challenges. Nearly getting himself killed in the process. His confidence and character had grown over the past three years.  Sure he made himself some enemies. Many of the planets they had discovered were in the neutral zone along the alpha quadrant. Henry Mudd was a fateful encounter where he learned of a drug that supposedly made women 'beautiful' when in reality they were beautiful just the way they were.  Kirk saw no difference. The men, however, had seen the difference and so did the women. Selling something that was harming the liver system of the women and make them become dependent? That was wrong.

Lieutenant Jeri Kotigan stopped Montegrio in his tracks. Kotigan had blue skin, brown eyes, and he lacked any assortment of hair. He had ridges along the side of his cranium that did not form the familiar center faced ridges normally seen on Klingons. He had four fingers, that felt relatively human, but otherwise felt cold. Kirk recognized Jerry as a Verhuman: a skilled fighter. His fingers had small odd dark shaped dots.

"You might need this." Kotigan said, handing the man a communicator in a language that was new to the other three men.

Kirk raised an eyebrow.

"Did we meet on Planet 44-74 Verhamu last year?" Kirk asked, in a fluent yet fluidly different language.

Jerry nodded.

"I still have the scar you gave me to save my life from a death match." Kotigan said, in the same language.

"You giwe me too much kredit." Kirk replied, shaking his free hand and put the communicator into his pocket.

"I owe you my life." Kotigan said, in his native tongue.

"You do not." Kirk said, narrowing his eyebrows.

"Good luck." Jerry said in his native tongue, stepping out of Kirk's away.

"Thank you." Kirk said, in English.

The conversation that would ensue outside would be in Klingonese. Kirk walked out of the cargoship then he pressed a button to the side of the machine making the door close behind him with a light woosh. The weather out here was contrary better than how it seemed. The wind was generally forceful in the sky. The loud cackle of the thunder storms above echoed through. Kirk walked five feet away from the cargoship with one hand on the handle to his dagger.

"Captain Montegrio." Came the hiss of Putok.

"Captain Putok." Came the icey reply as Kirk came to a stop.

"Step aside." Putok said, with a flail of his hand.

Kirk stared back at the Klingon with a birthmark on his forehead.

"Negative," Kirk replied, earning a raised eyebrow from the Klingon. "They may not be my friends but I am sure as hell willing to die for them to get a traitor who is attempting to get a war between Earth and Qo'noS. A war we do not need."

Putok stepped forward then picked up Kirk by the neck.

"Your Klingon half does not sway my hatred for your Terran ancestry. I have gone again and again facing you and your pathetic 'reformed' team of Klingons. For once I will do the universe a favor."

Kirk smiled.

A genuine smile.

The  cargo ship  floated into the air  firing at a nearby cruiser sending the gigantic ship crashing down. The cargoship flew into the air disappearing into the clouds above.

"Don't kount on it." Kirk applied the Vulcan Nerve Pinch to the side of Putok's neck.

Putok let go of Kirk's neck collapsing to the ground. Kirk took out his dagger dodging the phaser blast that came next from the nearby Klingon. He stabbed the dagger into the Klingon's chest then used the Klingon as a body shield. Then he pushed forward the Klingon toward the following group.  The third Klingon raised his dagger up lunging toward Kirk. A sudden blast from afar stopped the third Klingon dead in his tracks ending up falling forwards toward the ground. Kirk saw a man standing at a ledge wearing a hood and a canon of sorts strapped along his shoulder.

The Klingon's attention shifted immediately to the man.

The man lowered his hood revealing a hot jaw dropping man with dark hair and blue eyes that stood out (but less than Kirk's eyes did).

John. _Fucking_. Harrison.

At least that is what  Kirk immediately assumed. There was a look of recognition in the man's eyes on the ledge almost on the dime. Some of the Klingons attention returned to Kirk. In five minutes flat most of the Klingons were dead. Kirk and Harrison were hiding behind the boulders. Kirk stared at the man long and hard, rage building up, knowing this man was responsible for the death of someone he in fact looked up to.  Kirk looked over the boulder to see the Klingons were fleeing in numbers. Kirk had a sigh of relief then took out the communicator.

"Thanks for sawing my ass back there." Kirk said.

"Do they have seventy-two missiles?" Harrison asked.

"That they do." Kirk replied, taking out his communicator.

Harrison's eyes bore into Kirk.

"And you are working with them,"  Harrison said. "I surrender to you, unconditionally."

Kirk nodded.

Impressive, how Kirk worked with a terrorist and made him surrender.

"Who do you think I am?"  Kirk asked.

"James T. Kirk," Harrison said. "Your current identity that you have assumed is by far the most . . . Lack of better words: sophisticated and well crafted. I am interested in who gave you genetic surgery. I have seen the admirable court performance you did to seal away the fate of Admiral Marcus." Kirk briefly closed his eyes. "You have met him, haven't you?"  Kirk nodded. "I have very important information that your captain--"

"I am not in Star Fleet!" Kirk said.

"That your Vulcan friend will be particularly interested in," Harrison said. "Do you care about family?" Kirk nodded. "What would you do for your family?"

"Anything," Kirk said. "I would do anything." He moved a switch on the communicator.  "Montegrio to Spock. Prepare to land, Mr Harrison is willing to come."

It surprised Kirk just how well he was keeping back his anger for the unrightful death of Christopher Pike.

Impressive really.

"We will be down," Spock said. "Spock out."


	15. Sacrifices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The battle of the short to long scenes begin!
> 
> CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEE!
> 
> *Rides into combat*

"First, 23-17-46-11,it is a point near Earth," Harrison said. "And second, you might want to open one of those torpedoes."

Being thrown into a brig was nothing new for Kirk. Being a criminal came with that. Kirk had landed in the brig more times than he could count. Kirk was not surprised they threw him into the brig. But being stuck in the same room with Khan? Well, that had to top the cake. Kirk thought they would let him go, but, he underestimated Spock's rule stickler. It was not Spock's fault that Kirk landed here, it was all  the man's fault for it happening in the first place.

McCoy had taken a sample of Harrison's blood after seeing the condition that Harrison was in after plowing through countless Klingons.

_"Kid. . ." Jim said._

_"What is it?" Kirk asked._

_Jim looked sadly at Kirk._

_"It is time you learn how my Spock died." Jim said, placing a hand on the young man's shoulder then he tightened his grip._

_A flash of memories went through Kirk's head. His legs nearly gave out absorbing in the information. Jim started from the first encounter he had with with Khan Noonien Singh face to face. Then Jim flashed forward countless years later. Spock Prime and Jim were older then. Not in their youthful phase anymore. Jim organized the memories in order chronologically for the young man. Jim took his hand off the young man's shoulder then stepped back._

_"He died saving the ship. . ." Kirk said, staring at Jim._

_Jim looked away._

_"He did what I could not do."  Jim said._

_Kirk paused, looking at Jim._

_"Why now?" Kirk asked, in a small voice.  
_

_Jim sighed._

_"Because kid," Jim said. "Our time together is limited. I was supposed to be gone three years ago. I should be leaving any day now."_

_"I am not ready." Kirk said._

_Jim frowned, narrowing his eyes in the direction of Kirk._

_"For the past year or so I have not been of any use to you, or are you forgetting who's mind is ingenious to this body?" Jim asked._

_"I have not forgotten." Kirk said._

_"You are ready to face a new world that isn't kind to you," Jim said. "You must shape your own destiny."_

_Kirk laughed._

_"You sound like one of those old people."  Kirk said.  
_

_"I_ am _old, kid." Jim reminded the young man.  
_

_"I mean like one of those wise old people." Kirk said.  
_

_"You are forgetting about something." Jim said.  
_

_"What is that?" Kirk asked.  
_

_"Old age makes us restless and we still crave for the stars even then,"  Jim said. "That's what we set out to do in the beginning in our Star Fleet cadet year. To explore these stars.  Helping others? Well, that is just a bonus as are the women! Being old doesn't mean the universe is done with me, to be frank, I did more than my fair share to Star Fleet as a aging captain than a young experienced captain. Trust me, when you get old like me, your work is not quite done. Your life is not over. Not by a longshot."  
_

_A small smile slipped onto Kirk's face._

_"I feel good helping others." Kirk said.  
_

_"So use that to your advantage." Jim said.  
_

_"It is going to feel odd not to have someone in my head." Kirk said.  
_

_"Trust me, you are not going to feel empty after the events of today," Jim said, reassuringly. "It was the best decision of my life."  Jim grew a fond yet sad smile. "I . . . however. . . wasted it." Jim's gaze lowered toward the floor. "Spock and I ended it on our terms.  Everywhere I went I felt like there was a part of me missing. Not in the soul but . . ." Jim tapped on the side of his head. "In the head." Jim looked toward his counterpart. "Before I went to the Enterprise B. That's when it happened. Actually, one month before."  
_

_"Was old Spock worth it all?" Kirk asked._

_A smile appeared on Jim's face._

_"He was." Jim said._

McCoy, Spock, and Wallace had left minutes ago. Kirk's back  was slouched against the wall sitting down with his hands on his knees. Khan was up standing at he wall patiently waiting for someone to return. Kirk noted this man was patient. Kirk, in his time being Captain Montegrio, had met aliens that were not as well patient. Kirk's adventures in the neutral zone allowed him to create a basic guide of what to do and what not to do in there. A series of novels that focused on each part of the list. Ten, in total. Short and to the point.

"Would you like to know what my name is?"

"It is John Harrison."

"No."

"No?"

"My name is Khan."

Jim took control of Kirk's body: his eyes focused up toward Khan. His right hand balled up into a fist. Jim approached the augment then threw a punch at Khan's face knocking him down to the floor with brute force packed into the punch that was pretty unnatural.

_"I have been waiting to do that for a very long time." Jim remarked._

Khan looked up toward Kirk appearing to be impressed.

"Is that all you got?" Khan asked.

"I am restraining myself at the moment, so yes," Kirk said. "I can easily tire myself out using you as a punching bag."

"Your reputation proceeds you, Captain Montegrio," Khan said. "I thought you would return to your old ways."

"I do not have old ways."  Kirk said, walking over to a bench along the wall and then sat down

"Where were you born?" Khan asked.

"In space on _The Halupid_ ," Kirk said. "My parents died when I was ten,but then again, you already know this."

"We both have the same enemy in common," Khan said. "Would you want to kill him once we get there?"

Kirk considered it.

Marcus gone?

Kirk could reclaim his life and not have to worry about being attempted to be murdered. Go home. Speaking of which he will most certainly go home after it is over. Kirk lowered his head down picturing walking into the house,dropping his duffel bag at the door, and walking into the arms of his mother. His mother was usually off planet. This week she was on Earth for two weeks. Kirk would get to tell his mother how much he missed her while she cried.  Killing someone just to end his misery? That would stain his hands and send him to hell. That was murder.

"Tempting as it is," Kirk said. "I would be damned for hell if I did."

"You killed countless people for a lot less." Khan said

Kirk glared over toward Khan.

"I had genuine reasons that were not motives," Kirk said.  "I am a rule breaker not a murderer."

"You killed a emperor." Khan reminded Kirk.

"He was going to kill my first officer," Kirk said. "My blood-brother. I kould _not_ stand by and allow that to happen!"

"So you stabbed him in the back with your dagger." Khan said.

"No," Kirk said. "I used his own weapon against him."

"And what about those countless other people?" Khan said. "You killed in cold blood."

"I AM NOT A MURDERER!" Kirk raised his voice. "If  I killed anyone it was in defense. I don't know what stories you hawe been hearing but I _never_ killed a innocent being." Kirk stepped forward. "I kould kill you in your mortal form then you would not be standing here speaking. You would be dead if I were who you claim I am." His eyes flickered. "I am a man of many things. Ruthless killer? No. Explorer with a heart of gold? Yes. Guilty of breaking the rules? That I am."

"You have killed people in your time as Warren Montegrio, you admit to that." Khan said.

"I do." Kirk said.

"You are just as bad as I am." Khan remarked.

Kirk punched Khan at the face then went over to where he had sat glaring in the direction of Khan.

"You punch like a nine year old." Khan chastised Kirk.

"As if." Kirk said.

"The left side of the body lost an eye, a arm, and a leg," Khan said. "How did you get new parts?"

"I met a good doctor," Kirk said. "I still can't hear in my left ear though."

"That is not a good doctor." Khan said.

_Kirk was looking down toward a little green heart in his hand._

_" 'Wani ra yana ro aisha'?"  Kirk repeated, the words sounded alien and quite crude put together in his voice. Butchered, really. He looked up. "What does that mean?"  Kirk looked over toward his counterpart who took the green heart from him. "Wait, that is yours?"_

_"Yes." Jim said, placing the heart into a picture frame that had a stardate on it beside a bookcage. The year before they ended their marriage._

_"What does it mean?" Kirk said._

_Jim hammered it in  with screws._

_"It is Vulcan." Jim said, lowering the hammer._

_"Yeah, so what does it mean?" Kirk asked._

_Just like that, the hammer vanished into thin air as Jim turned toward Kirk._

_"It means 'I love you' in Vulcan," Jim said. "But I believe it may be obsolete in this version of Vulcan language."_

_"There are more easier ways to say those three words." Kirk said._

_"Like Ashayam, K'diwa, T'hy'la,T'hy'lara, taluhk nash-veh k’dular (which means I cherish thee), ashal-veh, ashalik, tal-kam, and taluhk-," Jim said. "Though Spock's favorite form of endearment was T'hy'lara and I cherish thee. The rest of them? They mean darling except for taluhk. That means precious. I have learned . . . Vulcan is very romantic language like Latin. There is beauty in it and the logic behind it is sound. It is the most heart lifting thing a Vulcan can ever say to you with their heart in the right place." Jim patted on his side not in the place where his heart should be. "Saying it in English is like opening their private walls."_

_Kirk raised an eyebrow._

_"You took all the time to learn those words?" Kirk said, in shock._

_Jim grinned._

_"I spent twenty years knowing a Vulcan who taught me Vulcan phrases," Jim said. "Valentines day was the best day we ever had. Ever seven years? Do you know how hot sex is with a in heat Vulcan? It is PERFECT!"_

_"Wait, what?" Kirk asked._

_"Oh,you don't know that." Jim said._

_"know what?" Kirk asked._

_"Your Vulcan friend will be in heat, sexually active, in 2265, he must have a mate by then." Jim said._

_Kirk's face faltered._

_"He broke up with Uhura." Kirk said._

_"He will die if he doesn't have a mate." Jim said._

_"How did Spock come back?" Jim asked._

_"Well . . ." Khan was talking about how he discovered Kirk's new identity and the novels that he had read, also noting how much he enjoyed the last one. "That one is a doozy. You see . . . Spock put his Katra into McCoy before going in, and a entire planet regenerated his body . . ."_

* * *

Spock returned with Wallace thirty-two minutes later, hands behind his back, and a glare faced in the direction of Khan.

"Have you found what you were looking for?" Khan asked

"Affirmative." Spock said.

"My name is Khan." Khan said.

Wallace's face faltered.

"The man who started the Eugenics wars?" Wallace said. "You brought us into misery!" Spock stopped Wallace from  approaching the glass.  "How are you even still alive?"

"My ship, Botany Bay, was discovered by your disgraced admiral Alexander Marcus after the attack by Nero," Khan said. Kirk flinched at the mention of Marcus. "My crew, my family, was then used as leverage against me. I had to help him prepare the world for attacks by those who threatened your federation. But the only problem was not from the inside but rather from the inside. He was the threat. It was logical to deduce he would orchestrate his own death by his own vain. My crew is everything to me." Khan turned away, shaking,  closing his eyes. "I made special compartment to smuggle my family out. I made it out. They did not." A lone tear came down Khan's cheek. "I thought they were dead until today."

Khan turned back toward the Vulcan.

"I was prepared to avenge them," Khan added. "Captain."

"There is one reason why you are not dead," Spock said. "Not scorched on the planet side of Qo'noS where your remains will be minimal and logically unseen, the reason being is that is it logical for you to face your war crimes." His word were icy, monotonous, and every bit of 'fuck off.' in human terms. "As you are in the presence of some one equally overpowering as you are, I am transferring you to Med Bay under heavy guard. We do not need a coup de tate on aboard," Wallaces's eyes widened as he looked over toward the Vulcan. "Lieutenant Fandago, please open the door."

"Captain--" Wallace started.

"We may need his help."  Spock said.

Afterwards when Spock, Khan, and two security officers left, Wallace looked over in the direction of Kirk.

"I have my eyes on you, Montegrio." Wallace said.

Kirk looked up toward Wallace.

"Good luck dying." Kirk said.

Wallace approached the rounded hole in the shield then he took out a small rounded like ball, pressed a button in the middle, where rounded circular sides ejected out. Wallace tossed the item into the room where it let out smoke. Wallace pressed a button closing the shield. Wallace turned away then walked quickly after the direction of Spock. Kirk coughed falling down to his knees as his vision grew dizzy. He coughed into his fist  closing  his eyes. It was bitter, and it tasted horrible. Kirk used his free hand to search around for the ball on the floor crawling about.

Kirk's hand landed smack on the item and he pounded it onto the ground once, twice, twice, and then so forth.

It cracked into pieces breaking apart  with a 'Kling'.

 _A hit-man_ , Kirk assumed, _he assumed I would be on here. Damn Marcus!_

There was a shout from behind the foggy door outside of the room.

Kirk landed on his side breathing in the smoke and his breathing became lowered. He landed on his back feeling his eyes burn.

_"Hang on, kid!" Jim said. "Don't let go."_

Kirk's eyes closed.

* * *

People were still out to kill him.

Even on the ship he formerly commanded.

Kirk caught a passing thought from Jim.

It reminded Jim of the _ISS Enterprise_ where people got up the ranks by assassination.

_"Like . . ." Kirk said. "The unreformed New Kelvin from the parallel universe?"_

_"Yes." Jim said, seeing the memory of what Kirk had experienced._

Kirk could feel like he was trapped in a body, unable to move, his eyelids heavy.

"Damn it, Jim!" Came a familiar voice. "Why do you have to go out and _nearly_ get yourself killed!"

There was a impulse to reply, forcing him and driving him to wake up.

"My . . . name is. . . Warren." Kirk defiantly said.

His eyes opened to see a familiar blue room that he had been in countless times. He was so used to waking up in a dark orange-red medical room with Doctor Uho looking over him with a scowl. Uho lacked an left eye that he left exposed as it was healed and he didn't see the need for prosthetic eyes. Uho gave Kirk grief. Uho reminded Kirk of Bones. Swarol was Kirk's first officer. Now. . . Those Klingons were dead.

"Don't do that to me," McCoy said. "I know you better than you know yourself, do you know who was your roommate for three years?"

Kirk closed his eyes, painfully.

"I know you've been on the damn run ever since there was a accident after the trial that involved your transport and the ones posted to make sure you went home safely," McCoy said. "This is a private bio-room." Kirk opened his eyes looking over toward the doctor. "Unlike Spock, I do not have much patience waiting for you to come around. You know who you are in the heart, Jim, I know you are scared to admit who you are but that is no excuse for doing that to us! You can trust us."

"Oh and what about the first officer?" Kirk retorted.

"He may be flawed, but he has some issues with Klingons." McCoy said.

"I am only in here _because_ of him," Kirk said, as McCoy raised his eyebrows. "So don't tell me I can trust people when those around me attempt to KILL me!" Kirk pointed to himself. "I get the impression of _'Oh, you are that poster boy_!' and ' _Hey, weren't you on trial?_ ' and then more often than not I get a phaser aimed at my face! Having to go under the radar was not easy.  Pacing back and forth at night, looking back at the door, then back to the window." McCoy listened, intently. "If I told anyone where I was going, they would have gotten themselves _killed_ including me. I did everyone a favor by not telling. You are still alive, so that's proof, and so many times did I nearly send you a message. BUT I COULDN'T. It hurt me more than it hurt you leaving a life I knew."

"So that's how you escaped holding." McCoy said, his arms folded.

"In the beginning I came across Pike who voluntarily had me go under genetic surgery by giving some credits," Kirk explained. "I came across Scotty, who was stunned to see my appearance, and I kept insisting I wasn't who he thought I was. I insisted that he not tell anyone. Not even you and  Spock. I may have told him that it was a life and death matter that he not tell anyone."

"Were you intending to live your life this way?" McCoy asked.

''Until the day he died, yes," Kirk said. "I discovered myself again these past few years. Self discovery. We were just going to step into federation space . . . and then make our debut. To take down the one pulling so many strings like the first officer."

"Wallace is not the kind of man for a type of assassination." McCoy said.

Kirk looked up toward McCoy with a dead serious facial expression.

"Anyone who tries to kill me is capable of that," Kirk said. "No exceptions."

"Did you copy Chekov's accent?" McCoy asked.

"Maybe." Kirk said.

"Jim." McCoy said.

"A little." Kirk said.

McCoy unfolded his arms with  a dumbstruck facial expression.

"You copied Chekov's accent!" McCoy said.

"These days I don't notike when I swikch to Russian," Kirk said. "It is like automatik. A different personality."

"Jim," McCoy started. "If Chekov were here, that would be very insulting with that butchering you doing."

"I am not speaking in a Russian accent." Kirk said.

"The hell you were." McCoy said.

Suddenly the comn all over the ship turned on.

"Captain Spock." Came a chillingly familiar voice.

"Admiral Marcus." Came Spock's reply.

"So, what brings you here?" Marcus asked.

"We have Khan from the planet Qo'noS and we intend to make him stand trial for the deaths he has instigated," Spock replied. "And some unsettling information has come out regarding your part with the missiles we have on our ship. He only was acting out  because he believed you killed his crew."

"Shit, you talked to Khan." Came Marcus's voice.

"Affirmative."  Spock said.

"Hand him over." Marcus said.

"Negative," Spock replied. "Our transporter is having problems working at the moment and I am . . . unaware. . . what is causing the outage."

"That is not true," Wallace said. "They are work--"

"What did I hear?" Marcus asked.

"You heard that the transporters are working imprecisely," Spock said. "If we were to beam Khan aboard then we would leave a sad bitter representation of him. Spock out."

 _"He is exaggerating." Jim said, fondly_.

"That hobglobin is going to get us killed!" McCoy said.

"Spock would never do that," Kirk said. "By the way, is Khan in the other room?"

McCoy's eyes widened as he remembered something he had forgotten then quickly left the room letting the doors close behind him. Kirk got up on his two feet.

"Mr Chekov, can we jump to warp?" Came Spock's request.

"We can but the warp core is still hobbled." Came Chekov's statically reply.

"Warp six," Spock ordered. "Head to Earth."

The _Enterprise_ jumped into warp.

The image of the darker Dreadnought class staring back at his ship came back up into Kirk's memories. The panic that resulted in the trembling starship. He wanted to stay and fight back for his life, for once, against the man who ruined it. He didn't get the chance to do so. Swarol nerve pinched him in the appropriate spot.

"Captain!" Carol shouted. "He can attack in warp!"

Kirk recalled the Vengeance appearing on his view screen appearing to resemble the _Enterprise_ only . . . it was threatening and unwelcome. The hair on the back of his neck had risen. The Klingons who were in the room had froze. One even swore. Tension filled the air. Fear made them freeze. Their reactions were hastened when they were being hailed. Kirk had sat in the captain's chair staring at the face of that damn man.

The _Enterprise_ trembled at each blow.

The _Enterprise_ came to a halt with Kirk landing on his face.

"Ow." Kirk said.

"Give up, and hand him over," Marcus said. Kirk got up then looked at the mirror to see his Klingon-human face. "It will make this much easier. Death of one hundred crewmen, a resulting war between Klingons and the federation, and the most ideal Vulcan for captain going down with his ship. That sounds like a good way to end things."

Kirk turned his head away from the mirror.

The face Kirk saw in the mirror?

The mask of someone he pretended to be.

Pretending.

Deception.

Simply not the truth.

"Father!"

"Carol?"

"If you are going to kill them, well, you can't do it with me on board."

There was a pause.

"Well then," Marcus said. "You are right. I can't do it without you on that ship."

"No!" Carol screamed.

"I hereby condem you to death for aiding in the return of a terrorist." Marcus said.

"Admiral," Spock said. "Since I am the one who who did this, and gave the orders, would it be logical to kill the one was responsible? I am the captain of this ship, responsible for the actions of my crew, and if I give you Khan's location, my only request is that you spare those who had no choice but to obey my command. It is only logical that captain suffers rather than the crew."

That was as bout as the only plead from Spock for the admiral.

"Well, that's a hell of a reasoning," Marcus said. "But for any consultation I was _never_ going to spare you." There were gasps. It was logical that Spock was recording the conversation for later proof of what had happened in the destruction of the _Enterprise_ or in the time when they came to Earth safely. "Fire when. . ."

"Have a long and painful session in hell," Came  Spock's response, for some reason Kirk could picture him holding up making the Vulcan salute. "End recording."

"Right back at yo--" Marcus did not finish as he got cut off and the comn stopped working.

In the room came Wallace lacking his blue uniform and instead had a dark shirt on with hair in all direction holding a dagger in one hand.

* * *

"I will need Khan for this mission." Spock said.

"Khan could spell your death, Spock!" McCoy said, voicing his concern.

"He and I share the same respect for our respective crew," Spock said. "We will help him get rid of his problem." Spock nodded off to the security guards.  They took the cuffs off Khan's wrists. "It is only logical. Doctor McCoy, Commander Wallace is currently relieved of duty and a potential threat, I am assured you will drug him with the appropriate means?"

"I am a doctor, not a drugger!" McCoy said.

"Doctors handle drugs, Doctor McCoy." Spock reminded McCoy.

McCoy's face turned red.

"Why you pointy eared hobgoblin!" McCoy said.

"Doctor McCoy," Spock said. "As I will not be aboard the ship at the time of the mission we must use the highest ranking officer."

McCoy's skin returned to its natural color and he raised an eyebrow.

"Asides to Lieutenant Sulu?" McCoy asked.

"Affirmative." Spock said.

"Well, who is it?" McCoy said.

"They are on this ship." Spock said.

"Spock!" McCoy said.

"Captain Montegrio. I have already sent word to the bridge," Spock gestured over toward Khan. "You are with me."

Spock exited with Khan out into the hallway.

* * *

McCoy returned to find Wallace on the ground, Kirk's shirt torn zipping from the shoulder to the chest leaving a bleeding scar, and his brown jacket was on the floor with several parts of it in pieces. The necklace had been crushed into pieces. Kirk had one hand on the nearby biobed in pain. The pain from the side of his head from that nasty bruise had recently started for Kirk. Wallace was on the ground on his side, unconscious with a dagger stuck through his hand. Kirk walked over then took the dagger out of the injury and placed it back into his sheath.

"Just like old times, eh?" Kirk asked, with a bright smile and a raised eyebrow.

Speaking like that made Kirk feel older than he was, thirty years his senior.

"Get that shirt off," McCoy said. "Spock just put you in command."

"I am not a Star Fleet officer." Kirk said.

"I know, that is why you are not going to wear a captain's shirt but a dark shirt for your emo period." McCoy said.

"I knew I missed something about you." Kirk said.

"Don't push it," McCoy said. "Help me get this man on the biobed! It never occurred to you to beat a man onto a biobed."

* * *

_Whoosh_ , the doors opened to the bridge.

The Bridge appeared to be modified, different, although still homley and comfy. There was a rack of phasers built into the section alongside the doorway. The  bright light from the bridge blinded Kirk at first making him shield his eyes as he stepped forward onto the bridge. His eyes adjusted to the bridge as he lowered his hand down. For so long his eyes had been adjusted to a dark setting. The hallway wasn't as much bright. 

Thankfully Spock had a secondary eyelid, no wonder he did not go blind.

Wait, Spock had a secondary eyelid?

_"He does," Jim said. "He will prove that later. . . If you get on the same ship with the Vulcan, again. "_

_"I look forward to that." Kirk said._

Kirk had on a dark shirk, the bruise on the side of his forehead had been cleared up medically using a type of hypospray that dealt with the bruise. Unlike four years ago he was ready for the chair. Kirk felt like he was walking right toward his destiny as he heard the familiar phrase "Captain on the bridge."  He sat into the chair turning it toward the view screen where he could see two trails of dust coming from figures going through a field of debris towards the Vengeance.

So that is why Spock had him be put in charge.

"Some things never change." Kirk said.

Uhura turned around at the sound of a familiar voice.

Spock had informed the bridge that a captain 'Warren Montegrio' would be on the bridge during his absence.

 Kirk looked over with a familiar grin in the direction of a Uhura followed by a wink.

"Nice hair due, Lieutenant," Kirk said. "It suits you."

It reminded Jim of the hair style that Commander Uhura had and her beautiful golden earrings that stood out.

Nearly reminiscent of his friend.

A idea popped up in his head.

It was only logical that the torpedoes be emptied.

Why?

Because Khan would likely turn the tables in his favor.

"Kirk to Med Bay," Kirk said. "Still got those chronostasised in the torpedoes?"

"Yes, that we do," McCoy replied. "Why?"

Kirk merely grinned.

"Get the chronostasis tubes out," Kirk said. "Just for precaution that things do not go the way we want them."

Kirk could feel a cold chill placed on his shoulder.

" _We are still waiting, Jim,_ " Jim heard a familiar Georgian accented voice. " _We can wait a lot longer for you_ and _Spock._ "

Kirk looked over to see that no one was there.

_Jim smiled._

_"Bones." Jim said_.

The cold icy feeling lifted off Kirk's shoulder.

* * *

Khan's face appeared on screen.

Kirk had chose not to request for Star Fleet's help as this was a confrontation between two parties, not countless star fleet captains. Everyone had a bone to pick with Khan. Captain Braveheart's family was left in mourning, most likely, and so was Pikes, as was another captain who wasn't mentioned by Spock. Captain Cassidy of the USS Triumphant.

"Captain, I am very disappointed with your Vulcan friend," Khan said. "First you aid  me, then your friend 'pretends' to aid me, and then another friend of yours attempts to _stun_ me. May I note that our common enemy has been eliminated?" Kirk's fingers tapped on the arm rest. "I was hoping you would be happy about that."

"You have a history of backstabbing people," Kirk said. "I can not exactly blame them."

"Give me my crew." Khan said.

Kirk's right hand tapped lightly on the arm rest.

"Go ahead and beam them up," Kirk said. "After you beam aboard your hostages."

Khan frowned but then a familiar smile grew on his face.

Jim had seen this smile once before.

Twenty some years ago.

Before the death of Spock Prime.

It easily disturbed Jim to see it once more.

"Ah," Khan said. "Right. No ship should go down without her captain!"

The screen turned black as the quote registered in his mind from Moby Dick. Perhaps Jim's Khan was a fan of Moby Dick much as this version was. Jim was a bookworm, well, more than Kirk was. Kirk did his fair share of reading books but never hours upon hours of reading. Then again being a ghost comes with its privileges: no hunger, lack of energy, or thirst. Time literately flies by residing in another body that is similar in character and soul when reading.

The only word Kirk said, afterwards, was, "Oh shit."

This meant only one thing: Kirk was so right.

The _Enterprise_ trembled.

Kirk watched the _Vengeance_ lower decks explode sending out wreckage and numerous explosions.

 _Feel the burn, feel the burn_ , Kirk thought.

It was just then that the engines gave out in the _Enterprise_. The lights in the bridge dimmered going down to low power. The _Enterprise_ started to spiral down toward Earth  free-falling in space. Kirk activated the seatbelt to the chair then made a standard (and typical) request for everyone to abandon ship. It was weird to himself saying that. Never, in his career, had Kirk been the one to say that. Well, for Jim, there was that one time to ditch the Klingons on the Enterprise and self-destruct it so the Klingons dare not take _his_ silver lady. Nobody moved a inch in the bridge.

For some reason,  Kirk could picture being on his ship, his bridge, with his crew at their chairs.

"I said, evacuate." Kirk repeated.

"With all due respect,sir," Sulu said, as his seatbelt came up.  "I do not believe we would make it out on time."

"It would be. . . illogical." Judson added, as his seatbelt came up.

The _Enterprise_ continued on its freefall for several minutes plunging for several minutes through the sky headed toward the atmosphere landing out of the dark space decorated in stars and planets. With a fall through the clouds, the _Enterprise_ stabilized, suddenly, and went back up majestically into the blue sky. The lights in the room powered up being bright as ever. Kirk smiled,feeling a tinge of relief then looked over to the science station where---.

Kirk froze.

Spock wasn't on the bridge.

His seatbelt detracted.

"Scotty tae the bridge." Came Scotty's voice.

"Kirk here." Kirk said.

". . . You got tae come down tae see this." Scotty said.

It was rather a blur, getting up from the chair, going down the turbo lift, and racing down the hall toward a ill-fated room.

**NO!**

**No!**

**NOOO!**

Kirk came into the room where a Scotty had been filled in by McCoy regarding Kirk's 'somewhat' return. Kirk came into the room. Jim's hands was on his face, head lowered, sitting at the kitchen table with a knowing  look. The scene had haunted most of the crew of the original _Enterprise_ , and perhaps, it will haunt this new iteration of the  _Enterprise_ crew. It had to haunt them in the way it did. McCoy Prime feared losing Spock again, hell,the doctor didn't want to lose the Vulcan again.

"If we open it, it will flood the whole compartment," Scotty said. "It has tae decontaminate."

The door behind Spock had closed.

 **No**.

Kirk's legs felt like they were on static, walking through jelly, and he felt so, _so_ sluggish.

Kirk came to the glass wall feeling his heart twist and break into pieces.

"S. . . ship safe?" Spock asked.

"Yes, you saved it." Kirk said.

"You know, I never took the Kobyashi Maru. . ." Spock said. "How did I do?"

"Excellent," Kirk said, as a tear came down his cheek.  "In fact, you did better than I."

"That was. . . logical. . . of you to . . . send the empty torpedoes," Spock said. "That was clever of you."

"It is what you would have done." Kirk said.

"My otherself . . . told me. . . that it was your destiny to be in the captain's chair," Spock said. "I believe he was right."

The Vulcan seemed to be dying, right before Kirk's eyes.  Kirk could feel the anguish, despair, and sadness that his counterpart felt when his Spock was dying.  Kirk placed his hand on the glass dividing them making the Vulcan salute. The Vulcan's familiar brown eyes were losing their light. His back was slouched against the wall. He was in pain, yet, keeping the pain at bay to say his farewells.

"Wani ra yana ro aisha." Kirk said, this time with ease and familiarity with the word. "I have, and always shall be, yours." _  
_

Spock appeared to be touched, well, close as a half Vulcan could appear to be touched. Spock placed his right hand on the screen though only his two fingers were able to meet Kirk's hands with his two other fingers curled against the palm and his thumb tucked under his two fingers. 

"Thank you." Spock said, with gratitude. 

"For what?" Kirk asked.

"For being there." Spock replied.

"You are welcome." Kirk said, nearly choking on the last word.

 _Spock . . .Don't go_ , Kirk thought.

Kirk  heard the sound of Uhura entering the room as he felt another tear come down his cheek.  For once, at least what Kirk thought, he witnessed the Vulcan share a smile. The smile faded. The life drained out of the Vulcan's eyes. The Vulcan's long fingers went down the screen landing to the floor with his fingers pointed out and his eyes in a different direction other than Kirk's direction. Kirk's world became enveloped by anguish, vengeance, and a certain darkness loomed on his shoulders. There was a heavy cloud lingering over his head. Kirk's hand slid down the glass door.

"KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!"

* * *

 "Set destination: Star Fleet Headquarters!" Khan  said.

"Destination: locked on," The computer replied. " _Vengeance_ on course."

The USS _Vengeance_ fell through the city of San Fransisco  sending buildings falling in the wake. He had lost all those he had cared about. All seventy-two of his crew. Loyal crew he had served with. They had followed him all over the world. They went into space with him in the hopes that one day they could return and be of more benefit for the future when they would be needed. Casted out, banished really, from the planet Earth. A planet that he was returning to _alone_.

The starship crashed into the city of San Fransisco knocking down several buildings.

In the bridge was a large hole.

Most likely they are going to give  Khan the chase of his life.

Khan slid down the floor then he jumped thirty meters down where he landed on the sidewalk earning gasps and people stepping back. The crowd gathered at the gigantic starship. Khan sped through the crowd. In the dead center of the crowd appeared Kirk with his phaser in a golden flash. He saw the darting black figure running from the crowd. Kirk sped after the fleeing man. His adrenaline was pumping, his heart beating fast, and sweat coming down his skin. His legs were not so sluggish but felt hollow.

There was strength in his arms that he hadn't felt before.

There are times when the body performs miracles.  Such as when falling  a good distance and landing among  the rocks after rock climbing. The body blocks the pain signals allowing the victim to crawl to safety. Then the pain comes after they hit safety and they, sometimes, lose consciousness due to the excruciating pain. That is one of those miracles. When a person is being pinned down by a huge rock the body is also capable of gathering strength fibers and using it all to get it off losing the fiber strength in the process permanently forever.

Perhaps the anger was playing a part.

Kirk forced himself to go faster going through  a glassless window where the glass was shattered.

Khan had gone through here.

Kirk took his phaser out then aimed it in the direction of Khan, just to stop him, and make the damn superman face him. He fired close to Khan's leg making the ground be scorched in a dark circle. They went through the street where they went into a art gallery. Kirk used his phaser again  this time destroying a worthless piece of chair into oblivion. People screamed running out of the building leaving the two standing. Khan turned around to see there being Kirk.  There was intensity and anger in those eyes. Kirk dropped the phaser then lunged at the augment with a ferocious expression about his face.

The next several blows were, unbelievable, there was strength that he had tapped into. But Kirk felt that some of the strength wasn't his. It was his counterparts strength that he was tapping into. Jim looked over toward the view screen feeling pleased. For once his counterpart was fighting against Khan face to face than starship against starship. They equally exchanged blows to one another, but Kirks?  Kirk's might have been over-done. This fight lasted for several minutes.

Khan crashed against the wall then landed on the floor.

"I am better than you!" Khan said, standing up.

"At everything? No," Kirk said. "You are not. Not _everything_."

"I AM!" Khan  delivered a hard blow to the face knocking Kirk to the ground on the ground.

Khan loomed over Kirk then he placed his hands on the side of Kirk's face and started to press them against Kirk's skull. It was a sudden switch when Jim took over. Kirk was supposed to live not die and permanently lose his body for good. Jim was supposed to go _not_ Kirk. Jim placed his hand on Khan's face taking on the shape of 'The Vulcan Death Grip' forcing Khan to let go of his face staggering back.

Kirk took over then he approached Khan with the phaser in hand.

Kirk pressed the trigger aiming it at Khan's knees pinning him to the ground then next was his arms.

Kirk set the phaser to kill and aimed for Khan's forehead.

"Don't kill him!" Uhura had ran in. "He can bring Spock back."

"Why don't you just finish me off?" Khan said. "Your friend would die in vain."

Kirk set the phaser to a different level.

"I am not like you," Kirk said, aiming the phaser right at Khan's chest. "I am better than you."

Then Khan's world turned into darkness.

* * *

**"GET THEM ON THE BIOBEDS!"**

Kirk was forced out of the bioroom by M'Benga and Nurse Joy after helping Uhura bring Khan into the medical quarters. Kirk paced back and forth out of the bioroom concerned for his friend. A vague memory returned where there was two men on a table with a Vulcan inbetween them conducting a ritual. The one on the left was familiar and the one on the right was somewhat familiar.

He did this for a good three hours.

"Kirk," Uhura said. "Go down to Earth. Spock wouldn't want you to be working yourself up."

Kirk sighed.

"I should have been there," Kirk said. "It should have been me. Not Spock."

"Go." Uhura said, one hand squeezing his shoulder.

Kirk looked up toward Uhura with sad eyes.

"All right. . ." Kirk said, as Uhura let go of his shoulder. "I will."

Kirk walked down the hall heading to the transporter room to head down to  Earth.

"Jim." Kirk heard a familiar voice. It was Spock's voice.

Kirk ignored it.

"Are you upset?" Spock asked, sounding close.

Kirk sighed, shaking his head.

"Great, I am imagining things." Kirk said.

_"After my Spock died. . . It was sort of like that." Jim added._

"Negative," Came Spock's voice, again. "That you are not."

Kirk looked over to see it was Scotty.

"Scotty?" Kirk said, taking the man by the shoulders. "Are you okay?"

Scotty's eyes blinked.

"Aye, I was headin' tae the transporter," Scotty said. "Did nae see you comin'."

_"Your Spock is not completely gone."  Jim said, as he found himself snickering but hopeful._

Kirk had his moment of realization.

It was so, _so_ logical.

"Scotty," Kirk said. "Spock put his spirit inside you."

"What do you mean?" Scotty asked.

"Spock just controlled you," Kirk took his hands off Scotty's shoulders. "Go to Bones."

Scotty raised a dark eyebrow then he lowered it.

". . . You can stop speakin' with a Russian accent." Scotty said.

Kirk furrowed his eyebrows.

"Just go to him and tell McCoy," Kirk said, patting on the side of Scotty's shoulders. "I am afraid you need to visit New Vulcan."

Kirk turned away then resumed his walk. Kirk came into a dark nearly lit hallway, hands in pockets, and the hair on the back of his neck raised up. He stopped in his tracks to see a figure standing there in the darkness. Basking in it, really. The light in the hall revealed it was former Commander Wallace. There was a haunting feeling lingering in the back of Kirk's mind. Jim took over then he approached Wallace taking both hands out of his pocket.  Kirk was being restrained, out of the house, that was currently locked. Kirk was shouting, screaming, demanding to be let in knowing what Jim was going to do.

"Are you going to press that trigger or let me nerve pinch you?" Jim asked.

"I am the last man in this world assigned to kill you," Wallace said, holding up a square portable device in his right hand. "About time you hurl over and die."

Wallace pressed the button.

" _JIM!_ " Kirk screamed as the explosion began.

* * *

"Hey Bones," McCoy looked over.  "Thanks for looking out for me."

McCoy frowned.

"Jim, get your ass out of here!" McCoy turned his head in the direction of Nurse Joy. "Nurse Joy escort the visitor out."

Nurse Joy tilted her head, raising an eyebrow.

"There is no visitor." Nurse Joy said.

McCoy looked over in the direction of where Kirk had been near the doors.

Kirk was not there.

"But he was just right--" McCoy fell over feeling a hard pain in his head that felt so real. "DAMN IT, JIM!"

The ship trembled and red alerts went off.

M'Benga helped McCoy up.

McCoy's face went pale as he realized what he had just said. Several Nurses were left with the blood transfusion between the the two bodies laid on the table.  McCoy and M'Benga ran out of the Med Bay reporting to the chaos that had unfolded. The hallway was glowing a light red due to the alerts going off. On the floor in the middle of the flaming scenery there were two bodies with a figure loomed over one. The third figure was Scotty. Scotty was over by the side of one body across from the severely burned body, his hand placed on the side of the face,and Scotty's eyes were barely closed. Scotty had a stoic, calm look about his face.

Scotty looked up toward McCoy.

"It is Jim." The voice of Spock coming out of Scotty's mouth made McCoy's world go dizzy.

McCoy went into autopilot.

First Spock then Jim?

It was too hard to bear.

"Get me a biotable!" McCoy shouted. "And a damn hypo!"

"I am sorry but this is very important, Doctor McCoy."  Came Spock's voice from Scotty's mouth.

"Scotty, you--"

McCoy froze feeling Scotty's hand on the side of his face, M'Benga went after the med bay for exactly that. McCoy could see everything around him turn dark yet there was a golden flickering flame in the middle of the room become dim and dimmer. It was so dark, besides, who turned out the lights. He could someone was holding his hand using him as an anchor. He looked over to see  a memory hovering in the place of the green ball, and it was of Spock  looking over the transporter consoles then back to the transporter patiently awaiting for someone. There was a brief moment of panic in the memory.

A green tail in the shape of a hand outreached toward the golden ball that was growing smaller.

 _We must save him_.

It was a thought that was being shared with McCoy, the doctor realized.

_We?_

_Affirmative._

_What do you mean by we?_

_Leonard, if you care about Jim much as I do then we are going to save him going to the beyond._

_Spock._

_We are going to marry him._

_**WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE ARE GOING TO MARRY JIM**?_

* * *

Spock Prime was watching the new Vulcan children play with their Pleenoks. It was his idea to start Vulcan day care. They were so cute and adorable, no wonder McCoy Prime had said "Coochie kue" to the little newborn named after him. Some of the parents were still reeling from the loss of their home planet. It was a great idea to seek out Sybok and request his assistance with the grieving Vulcans. Spock Prime also revealed to Sybok what is fate at the moment is bound to be.

Sybok had implemented therapy sessions in buildings throughout New Vulcan's first major city, and quite really, a majority of the planet encompassed by the surviving Vulcans. Sybok was personally dealing with a few therapy sessions for the Vulcans to embrace their emotions for their grieving cycle. Sarek Prime would be proud. Sarek of this universe was equally proud that his first son's gift was finally coming to of use.

 _"Spock_."

Spock Prime looked over his shoulder then turned his head away in the direction of the playful Vulcans.

 _"I am here_."

Spock Prime realized the voice was coming from his head. It was familiar, warm, and compassionate.

_Jim?_

There was a warm feeling in Spock Prime's mind.

 _"I am home_."

We dive into Spock Prime's mind to see they were at the briefing room where most of the decision making was made asides to the bridge.  Jim  appeared to be his ordinary familiar youthful self. He was in his captain's uniform from the late 2260's. There was a smile on the captain's face. Spock Prime? He was younger, in the mind, hands flat and not covered in wrinkles. Spock Prime's hair was dark once more. His ears were smaller than they were physically. Spock Prime's hands were behind his back. Spock Prime had his science officer uniform on.

"Miss me, old friend?" Jim asked.

Spock Prime was the first to initiate a unexpected hug with the captain.

"I missed you." Spock Prime replied, followed by a cry into the man's shoulder.

Jim smiled patting the back of Spock Prime.

It was good to be home.

* * *

 "What do you mean Spock might have amnesia?" McCoy asked.

"It has never been done in the past thousand years," Sarek explained. "It is a delicate process. He may not remember anyone for that matter." McCoy's face went pale. "His Katra could easily not make to his body. There is a known instance where a Vulcan, who returned from the dead and his body regenerate, but  his mind never made it in the transfer. He was a walking, mindless Vulcan."

"Spock is not going to become a zombie!" McCoy said.

Sarek raised an eyebrow.

"Which zombie do you refer to?" Sarek asked. "The  Carnivores one or the sluggish moving harmless one?"

McCoy's face turned into that of 'SO ZOMBIES ARE REAL?'

"I believe he refers tae the carnivores zombie,McCoy,"  Scotty said. "I want tae go through it, Mr Sarek."

"I understand of carnivores zombies," Sarek said. "I am familiar to them only due to my late wife . . Amanda explained to me twenty-nine years, four months, and two days ago regarding the usage of the word 'zombies' around humans."

McCoy's face returned to its natural color.

"Ah," McCoy said. "I see."

_McCoy had a sudden memory coming to: there was the memory of seeing two men on slabs of rock. One had a Vulcan and one had a human male, in between them was a Vulcan female placing her hands on their heads individually muttering a ancient chant. The memory showed the transfer being accomplished. A hooded figure in white came, a familiar face that of . . . Ambassador Selek?  Younger, his eyebrows were darker. Familiar brown pair of eyes._

_"Jim. Your name is Jim." Came a monotonous male older voice._

_Spock!_

_"Yes!" Came the reply of a male voice with emotion sounding to be right about the Vulcan's age. It sounded like the voice that had uttered the name 'Spock!'._

McCoy shook his head.

He saw the same scene playing out except these two were younger. There was a younger Vulcan woman in between them. The procedure went through the long night, and McCoy decided to stay on New Vulcan during the wait.  Going to sleep was tough. His mind was clouded by worried thoughts concerning Spock and Scotty. T'Lar had informed there were risks which Scotty gladly accepted as did Sarek. 

McCoy was a mess when he returned to check upon his two friends. He saw two figures among a crowd, one of which was Scotty thanking the young lady Vulcan. Shortly after the procedure was over, the small group of Vulcans were around the revived Vulcan who was dressed in white. They stood there for what felt like forever. Finally, Scotty came over appearing to be relieved from the ordeal he went through for two days holding the Vulcan's katra inside. It eerily felt familiar. Where were these memories coming from? They were not his, that McCoy knew. 

Whose memories were they, then?

"Scotty, how are you?"  McCoy asked.

"I am fine,McCoy," Scotty said. "Though, I do nae know about Mr Spock. . ."

McCoy appeared to be relieved.

"I am glad you are still with us." McCoy said.

"The liberty is mine." Scotty said.

Sarek joined the group and spoke with Spock first inquiring some questions, they were personal, meant to jog some memories from Spock's past before he had joined Star Fleet. McCoy swore he had seen a spread smile on the older Vulcan's face. The usually calm emotionless Vulcan had displayed emotion to his son. One of the lady Vulcans raised their eyebrow at older Vulcan's reaction. Emotion was illogical.

Sarek excused himself departing the group.

The group broke apart, and then, Spock and two priests came down.

"Spock?" McCoy asked, once the Vulcan had come close. "Do you know what a tribble is?"

"A furry organism born with a litter capable of reproducing after eating," Spock replied. A smile grew on the young man's face. "Did we save Jim?"

The smile faded on McCoy's face.

"I don't know." McCoy said.

"Dead?" Spock asked, raising his slanted arched eyebrow. 

McCoy shook his hand from side to side.

"In a coma." McCoy said.

Spock stared at McCoy.

"In a coma. . ." Spock said,looking over toward Scotty.

Scotty tapped on the side of his head, knowingly.

"Do you know who I am?" McCoy asked.

Spock turned his head in the direction of McCoy.

"Leonard. Your name is Leonard."  Spock said.

"Welcome back tae the livin', Mr Spock!" Scotty said, as McCoy brought the Vulcan into a hug.

"Don't you do that to me again, you  pointy eared hobgoblin," McCoy said, as he cried into the Vulcan's shoulder. "I can't lose the both of you again."

Spock's right hand landed on the backside of the doctor's back.

"I can not make a promise like that," Spock said. "But I can say, you never will lose us."

* * *

Kirk awoke from his coma eight months after the events of Khan's landing. To the entire universe, Warren Montegrio died on the Enterprise at the brig by a denotative and Kirk was discovered from the _Vengeance_. He had undergone a miraculous recovery (so the doctors claimed) from  near death to beating independently. His skin regrew over the past eight months. His forehead had returned to its flattened human form. His feet were not dotted in Klingon birthmarks (that were also surgically added).

It was a miracle, they claimed, that he was able to walk.

Admiral Jim had left the building.

But what did he leave behind?

Memories of their father.

He was at a fair holding a cone with yellow cotton candy,two weeks after being discharged, at Iowa.

"Kaptain!"

Kirk froze, contemplating what to do first: take out a dagger he did not have, run, or face the one calling his name. Oddly, Kirk could feel comfort from the middle of no-where. Where was it coming? Well, that was the least of his worries. Fortunately when Kirk did decide there was a certain twenty-one year old Russian wrapped around him locked into a hug. Wait, why was Chekov here? Kirk could see a little girl on someone's shoulders. She was familiar, in face and eyes. Demora Sulu. A name that he hadn't know. Supposedly some of Jim's memories were left behind. Getting out of speaking with a Russian accent came smoothly.

For the past two weeks he had been with his mother catching up on what he hadn't been there for.

"Hello, Chekov."  Kirk said, looking down toward the Russian.

"Chekov, are we going on the teacup ride or not?" Came Sulu's voice. "Our spot is about to be taken."

Chekov ended the hug turning in the direction of Sulu.

"I am koming, Hikaru!"  Chekov said.

"Weeeeeeeeee!" Demora cheered, well more like squealed.

Chekov handed Kirk a card with his comn number as the figure of little Demora on the shoulders of Sulu was going off in the other direction returning  to a long line of people that was about to come into the clear space.

"We should hawe a khat," Chekov said. "We missed you."

Kirk smiled.

"Enjoy the fair," Kirk said. "And I will think about it."

Chekov beamed a smile then went after the direction of  Sulu muttering something in Russian. A familiar phrase, "All is as it should be." Which confused the hell out of Kirk since he had not been around the Russian for that long. Perhaps it was only a memory that was left behind from Jim's departure. Spock Prime had sent Kirk a apology via holomail. For something Kirk had no recollection of. But the older Vulcan left a assuring message at the end (too happily may Kirk note) that everything is fine between them.  He didn't have the lonely, sad eyes.

Kirk saw a golden glint from Chekov's ring finger.

Kirk's eyes boggled.

Chekov got married?

How the hell did he not expect that!

* * *

"So who's the lucky girl?" Kirk asked, in one call.

"Sulu." Chekov replied.

Kirk raised an eyebrow.

"Sulu has a sister?" Kirk said, with sheer surprise.

"Hikaru Sulu is my spouse, Kirk," Chekov said. There was radio silence as Kirk thought back to the moments when the two were off the ship on missions with the landing part. "Kirk, are you there?"

"I never figured you were gay." Kirk said.

"I diskovered shortly after you left," Chekov said. "MkKoy assured us that we would not get pregnant."

This time both eyebrows rose up.

"Male pregnancy is not possible." Kirk said.

"Well, this happened after the Jehyulians gawe me a uterus." Chekov said.

"Go on." Kirk lowered his eyebrows.

"And so we had kasual sex when we were not off duty," Chekov said. "When Hikaru was not in the botany room or fencing. We dated. Koming to the choice of marriage kame with some doubts and koncerns from the both of us. We started to share quarters  two years ago." There was a fond tone to it. "Kaptain Pike oversaw the wedding."

"Congratulations, Chekov!" Kirk said.

"And Demora is a kute little bunch.  She has Hikaru's face." Chekov said.

"I saw." Kirk said.

"And for now, we hawe joint custody,"  Chekov said. "Demora's mother is insistent on hawing her. She beliewes we will someday abandon the little girl while we are out in space."

"Part of the job." Kirk said.

"Tell that to Demora," Chekov said, then he had a sigh. "I am sorry, I hawe been part of the trial for fiwe months and this decision is . . . irritating. We can only hawe her for so long while the _Enterprise_ is being repaired." Kirk briefly closed his eyes. "Speaking of the _Enterprise,_ are you going to return to kaptain it?"

Kirk opened his eyes.

"You have every right to be angry," Kirk said. "Don't apologize to me. I don't need that."

"Kirk?" Chekov asked, sounding curious.

Kirk paused.

"No, I am not." Kirk replied.

"Ah, that is a shame," Chekov said. "I would hawe enjoyed not being the only Russian on the _Enterprise_."

"Chekov, you do realize  I am not Russian?" Kirk asked.

"We came across a Klingon while you were 'missing'," Chekov said. "And she kompared  this kaptain 'Warren Montegrio's akkent to mine. I was suspikous for a while . . . even after the Klingon sekurity took her back to stand trial for being a 'pathologikal liar'." There a tone of amusement in Chekov's voice. "Of kourse I know you are _not_ Russian! BEING RUSSIAN IS AWESOME! She said 'You are a better Russian than the one I know from _New Kelvin_ '."

Kirk found himself laughing in a way he hadn't done with other people.

"Rule number one; do some more search on Russian akkents. Rule number two; newer stand by and allow Russia to be insulted. Three; ewerything is made in Russia," Chekov listed to Kirk. Kirk stopped laughing flicking off a tear. That Russian never changed. "And four; learn to speak Russian properly. I only know of your other identity bekause Hikaru told me."

"Paaavveeeell!" Sulu sang. "The shower is ready!"

"I will be right there."  Chekov said.

 _They progressed to first name slower than how the other Hikaru and Pavel took it_ , Kirk thought, _wait. . . that is Jim's memories._

"Good night, Mr . . . Do you still call yourself Chekov?" Kirk said

"Mr Pavel Chekov Sulu!" Chekov said.

"Good night, Chekov," Kirk said. "Kirk out."

Kirk looked out toward the stars from the window sitting in his bed and his eyelids felt heavy.  There was a urge to return back into space. A temptation, really, to continue what he had started four years ago.  It didn't help living with the fragmented memories of Jim and Spock Prime. Some of those lights were stars that were already gone. Some of those lights were planets.

_"You would make a great captain." Swarol said, one time as they were stuck on Earth in the 21st century._

_Most of the Klingons were around a fire fast asleep save for Uho, Kirk, Swarol, and Varun the second commander. They were sitting around the flames. This was early into their adventures as a crew, and possibly, as a family. There were a pair of Klingons snuggled alongside each other. One of them was at the least snoring loudly. Kirk did not mind the snoring. In fact it was quite comforting._

_"I am already kaptain, you realize that."  Kirk said._

_"I meant in Star Fleet," Swarol noted, watching a falling star under the darkness. "Where you belong."_

_Kirk had a chuckle._

_"In a hundred years would I go back." Kirk said._

_"You brought us through hell, captain,"  Swarol said. "Do you even bother to wonder why everyone follows you? You are our Optimus to our Autobots."_

_"I wouldn't go that far." Kirk said._

_"I would," Swarol said. "When we find Spot and save the history as we know it." He faced his head toward the moon earning silence from the young man. "A history of violence that has no honor behind is . . ."_

_"Illogical, and kruel." Kirk finished._

_"That is correct," Swarol said, with a nod. "There is no honor in there being ruthless unreasonable killing."_

_"I have sawed your ass more times than you hawe saved mine," Kirk said. "And I owe you."_

_"No, Klingons and Vulcans will owe you, captain," Swarol said. "Not many would have decided to sling shot back into the past to save  Star Fleet."_

_"I wouldn't hawe you to fend my back," Kirk said.  "And I don't have the Guardian of Forever to fix everything."_

_"What is that?" Swarol asked._

_"A big doughnut capable of time travel," Kirk said. Swarol raised an eyebrow. "No really! One of these days I am going to introduce you to it."_

_"The commander is right," Varun said. "But I am uncertain as to what Autobots and Optimus is, though I can only assume Optimus is a historical leadership figure with followers."_

_"He is not a historical figure," Kirk said. "Really, he is not."_

_"When the time comes," Swarol said. "You must  return to Star Fleet and put the past behind you.  When the threat is gone."_

_"What threat?" Varun said._

_"The threat of our futures being destroyed." Kirk said._

_"What do you say about my request?" Swarol asked._

Kirk pulled up the blankets as his head rested on the pillow with the lights off in the room.

"I will." Kirk mumbled.

Kirk's heavy eyes closed.

* * *

**. .  2262. . .**

Kirk was assigned to the _USS Nimoy_ , though he insisted on being a Ensign so he could work on his career from the ground up. But instead Star Fleet insisted he be the captain of this ship. The _Enterprise_ was likely to be under the command of Captain Spock who had returned from the dead. Knowing that reassured Kirk the fine silver lady was going to be in space even after the necessary repairs were done. She would be safe. He had seen, from spacedock, the _Enterprise_ go into space while waiting for the USS _Nimoy_ to dock.

_"Old age makes us restless and we still crave for the stars even then,"  Jim had said. "That's what we set out to do in the beginning in our Star Fleet cadet years. To explore these stars.  Helping others? Well, that is just a bonus as are the women! Being old doesn't mean the universe is done with me, to be frank, I did more than my fair share to Star Fleet as a aging captain than a young experienced captain. Trust me, when you get old like me, your work is not quite done. Your life is not over. Not by a longshot."_

The Hermes Class starship came into space dock with a skeleton crew.

The _USS Nimoy_ reminded Kirk of a tadpole at least the tadpole version of _The Enterprise_.

She had one nacelle.

Kirk had made it clear that he did not want to be captain of the Enterprise to Star Fleet, period. If ever, he needed Star Fleet captaining experience under his belt. Being captain of a ship that could make potentially historical waves was big shoes to fill. He only took the captain's chair because Spock had insisted he take it and left before Kirk could even argue otherwise. He was forging his own destiny much as his counterpart had urged him.

Kirk was beamed aboard the ship that was eye friendly. 

He did not have much belongings, save for his shoes, socks, boxers, and so on. Clothes, mainly, that he had purchased on Earth after awakening from his long coma. The belongings Kirk had collected mainly were what he could bring and were capable of using. Kirk had to stray himself away from the dagger. But . . . He kept it in a small box as a bleak reminder of those he had served with. He experienced sadness going over the memories of the slain Klingons he served with. His eyes briefly closed  as he placed one hand on the box. He could feel comfort.

There it was again.

A emotion that couldn't be quite placed.

Nor could it come from his mind.

Where the hell was it coming from?

"Captain to the transporter room," Came the announcement over the comn. "The commander will be beaming over. Lieutenant Commander Christopher Wallis out."

Lieutenant Commander Wallis was a Castophian chief of engineering.

A reptile like being, quite literately, covered in scales and his skin was a bluish-green. Wallis had the body design of a human. Kirk had his belongings sorted out in the room after spending an hour. He had purposely requested to not know who the main senior officers would be on his ship. First impressions were vital to Kirk. He wanted to see them at face value first and then learn all that he had to learn  about them as a character. Star Fleet had done the assigning instead of the captain. He didn't want to read off their files to get to know them.

Kirk walked down the hall that was bright and white.

His eyes had adjusted to the brightness of the white hallways.

Sure he had contact with McCoy over the past few months, but reaching Spock? It was surprisingly difficult. Kirk gave up two months after waking up from his coma and asked McCoy if he knew what was up with Spock. McCoy claimed that Spock was on Vulcan regaining his memories. It made Kirk smile knowing that his best friend had come back from the grave. So he understood why Spock hadn't contacted him. Whenever Kirk had his sad moments there would be mysterious alien forms of comfort that would wash over him. Kirk was tempted to contact the ambassador regarding these feelings but there was a inkling of the smallest what it could be. Kirk pushed it aside deciding it wasn't possible after all the research he has done.

Kirk entered the transporter room.

Khan and his crew were hidden somewhere in San Fransisco, somewhere hidden and secluded where no one can go. Star Fleet had assured Kirk that. For the first time in four years Kirk could just live. Be the man who Kirk had tried not to be. Himself. That is who. He embraced the identity openly. Though being fluent in Klingon was one part of his other self that Kirk could not leave behind. Alexander Marcus was dead. No more threats. Kirk walked his life with light shoulders, for now. Kirk had intended for it to be kept that way. No more hiding from the public. Kirk swore that to himself after waking up from his coma. McCoy had told him stories of Spock and Pike, even how they escaped a civilization that had a laser canon capable of  wiping out a entire planet using a sun. They destroyed the device through the means of sabotage.

True, Kirk had missed Spock and his other friends while on the run. Even now, off the run, Kirk missed Spock. There was a spike of excitement which oddly felt strange because Kirk is not feeling excited. There were feelings of emotions such as nervous and hope. He stood by the transporter console alongside Wallis. There were  the glimmering golden shapes coming into focus that started with the outline of the iconic human body.  Alongside appeared two luggage piled on one another. Kirk's spidey senses were tingling. This was a Vulcan being beamed aboard the ship.

Someone very close.

A smile grew on Kirk's face.

The golden rings vanished leaving a Vulcan in a blue shirt with hands behind his back. Kirk closed the distance between them, and as soon as the Vulcan had stepped off the transporter, Kirk caught the Vulcan into a hug. Kirk could only mutter a "Welcome aboard, Spock." That wholeheartedly meant ' _I am glad you are back_ ' in his tone of voice.  Kirk's hands clutched to Spock's back as though he would lose the Vulcan again.  Seeing the face of a human who Spock had known for a short period of time was gratifying.

"Captain, my belongings."

"Oh right."

Kirk ended the hug allowing Spock to pick up his luggage then tow it off the transporter padd.

"My apologies for not answering your calls," Spock said. "There were some personal memories still returning. .  ."

"Shouldn't you be commanding your own ship?" Kirk asked.

"Negative. There is no place I find my presence required than by your side," Spock replied. "Hikaru Sulu is the captain of the _Enterprise_." 

Kirk raised an eyebrow.

"And your rank?" Kirk asked.

"Commander." Spock's left arched eyebrow twitched.

A smile slipped on Kirk's face as his eyebrow lowered.

"Spock, you make a terrible liar." Kirk said.

Spock raised his famous arched eyebrow.

"You are aware that 'I love you too' would do."  Spock acknowledged.

It was completely natural for Jim, or at least it felt natural, when he held out his index finger and middle finger pressed together. Spock reciprocated with one hand behind his back with his luggage leaned against his right leg stacked together. Kirk could feel a pulse of warmth coming from the middle of no-where. There was the sound of beaming coming from the transporter pad. Kirk looked over, in surprise, because there wasn't a second person scheduled to come immediately after the Vulcan's arrival. Kirk looked over with a raised eyebrow lowering his hand.

"Most of the belongings in the second luggage are the doctors," Spock said. "He insisted on coming."

Spock had declined commanding the _Enterprise_ , and any other offers made by Star Fleet for his actions in the wake of Khan's arrival.  The Vulcan was stubborn, even after coming back from the grave, getting what he wanted. Star Fleet had offered Spock the captain's chair on the USS _Intrepid_. Spock turned down the offer, in fact, any offer. Spock refused to be on another ship if there wasn't any James Tiberius Kirk _and_ Leonard Horatio McCoy on the ship. It was either 'I am retiring to help my civilization rebuild or you give me what I want'. This surprised the Vulcan when the federation should have given him what he wanted in the beginning. Two months, two days, four hours, and thirty-two minutes were spent 'bickering' with Star Fleet.  It only ended because McCoy joined  Spock's request one week, one day, and four hours nearing the first day of the next month. Spock had purposely kept it a private matter though McCoy easily discovered what was bothering the Vulcan. It flattered the doctor what Spock was doing.

In a golden flash appeared McCoy in a short sleeved medical uniform.

A wide ass smile appeared on Kirk's face.

"Bones!"

* * *

While awaiting for the rest of the crew to arrive to The _USS Nimoy,_ the three decided to have some down time, together. Kirk was inbetween Spock and McCoy curled up in a ball with his head on Spock's left fore arm while the three were sharing Kirk's quarters. Though it appeared to McCoy that obviously this was going to change. Spock had explained, in great detail, how they had prevented Kirk from falling to his untimely demise. They had conducted a three way marriage bond to save Kirk's life. Their bond dragged Kirk out of the gutters enough to make him stable and allow the body to begin recovering. The three were quite naked with the blanket hanging off the bed at the corner.

McCoy watched Kirk's ears twitch.

"We should be called the golden triumvirate," McCoy said. "Or . . . The McSpirk who taught the captain to do a threesome."

"Spones would be a logical name for two individuals," Spock said. "McSpirk would indicate there was a third Kirk aiding in our threesome." Spock's legs were entangled by Kirk's long athletic feet. "I was not aware you had been in a threesome before, Leonard."

"It is all about learning,  Spock," McCoy said. "It is a social experience that is also sexual. Learning more about the person we know. For example, I learned you are a 'illogical' Vulcan in bed before Jim."

"Was Joanna's mother welcoming of the idea of a threesome?" Spock asked.

"It was her idea."  McCoy said.

"Women or men?" Spock asked.

"Women," McCoy said. "And this? This was a memorable experience. More memorable then being fucked by two women."

"Two women with different sexual fantasies," Spock said. "That is logically sexually arousing."

McCoy grinned, looking over toward the Vulcan.

"Hearing you say the words 'sex' and 'logical' in the same sentence is breathtaking," McCoy said. "And people say sex is for pleasure!"

"Logically, sex produces pleasure." Spock said.

"It does," McCoy said. "And I look forward to the next time we have sex. You have yet to make up for not telling me your bickering with Star Fleet for two months!"

"Leonard, I believe I have already done so." Spock said.

"You haven't put yourself inside me, yet." McCoy said.

"As you are a doctor, putting my finger inside you would likely harm you and harming you is illogical." Spock said.

"We have a cleaning processor on this ship," McCoy said. "And besides, I have done it before, my first time, and you won't harm me. I didn't ask you to do it today because we have the infant."

"Are  you suggesting he will attempt to do that to me if he learned?" Spock asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kirk stirred in his sleep edging himself toward McCoy moving  Spock's arm out of the way.

"Yes, Spock," McCoy said. "That I am suggesting."

"That is logical," Spock deduced. "Though taking turns would be problematic."

"Do you get the term 'threesome'?" McCoy asked.

"Affirmative." Spock said.

"One person is enjoying the pleasure, while the other two are the one doing it taking turns," McCoy said. "Only one does the blowjob, Spock!"

Spock raised an eyebrow.

McCoy could feel his head turn hot when he realized his mistake.

"Putting a finger in my butt is not a blowjob, Doctor McCoy," Spock said. "A blowjob is when a human of any gender sucks on the genitals until they reach orgasm.  Would you want to suck my genitals the next time we have sex?" The Vulcan's eyebrow raised even further. "My pleasure making body parts will not be in the way."

Spock's short serpent like parts alongside the genitals were covered by a petal like shield.

"Spock, you get what I mean."  McCoy said, holding out his two fingers.

Spock lowered his eyebrow.

"The offer is still on the table." Spock said, reciprocating as he could feel the hair on his arms raise up and a warm elevated feeling go up his head.

"Let me think about it. . . . " McCoy said. Kirk snuggled against McCoy's chest and his legs had unwrapped from Spock's.

"There is a human phrase that I have heard most often from Pike," Spock said. "First time is the charm."

"Spock .  . ." McCoy said. "If something happens to one of us, do you think it will kill the kid?"

"He has consummated our marriage and cares deeply about the two of us,"  Spock said. "If at all, the grief cycle will be ninety-nine point nine percent likely to be two years followed by lack of sleep, drinking, and anger if the both of us are lost. It is _highly unlikely_ it will kill him. If we lose you . . . I will do my best to take care of Jim."

McCoy narrowed his eyes in the direction of McCoy.

"You better." McCoy said.

"Leonard, if there is a chance we have a child . . ." Spock said.

"Which is highly possible regarding our 'insane' and 'odd' missions we have." McCoy noted.

"Do you believe three parents would be beneficiary to the development of the child?" Spock asked.

"One parent who is compassionate, another who is a listener, and another that acts on logic," McCoy said. "I think we would make one hell of a family."

It appeared as though Spock was fighting back a smile as the edges of his mouth started to go upwards and were struggling to remain in their normal shape. 

It was adorable coming from Spock for McCoy. 

"There is a good possibility that we would leave the child in your care," Spock said. "You have the parental touch."

"Ah, just because I already have a kid and all . . . Hey, you make me sound like a grandparent!" McCoy said.

Spock's smile had faded into a calm, stoic, yet puzzled expression with the raised eyebrow.

"That was not intended." Spock said, acting as though he had insulted the human.

"I am glad I met you, Spock." McCoy said.

Spock lowered his eyebrow.

"As do I . . ." Spock said, looking over to Kirk. A faint, but forgotten memory returned. "Our other selves were not T'hy'lara."

"Why?" McCoy asked.

"Because your counterpart was straight," Spock said. "I believe your counterpart viewed his feelings toward my counterpart as purely platonic."

McCoy smiled.

"You feel like it is wrong that he hadn't realized it." McCoy said.

"What is this 'it' you are referring to?" Spock asked.

"That they belong with one another." McCoy said.

"Perhaps in that universe they are not meant to be," Spock said. "But I believe the three of us are universal constants and so were the crew of the _Enterprise_. Common in any variation. Friends. Lovers. Enemies. Brothers. Crewmates. And any other word we may be to one another."

"So, the three of us are a chance of luck, huh?" McCoy asked.

"Affirmative." Spock said, with a nod.

Spock and McCoy's eyes landed on Kirk's resting figure.

"I like how it turned out for us." McCoy said.

 **The End**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lieutenant Fandago is named after the website that shows theater time for movies. His name was originally Findagio. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I did. The beginning after Jim came into Kirk's body, I had no idea how to build up the adventures to this very story arch I had coming to. As you can see from the short Trelane chapter. Afterwards, I made a goal to make each chapter 1,000+ words long to make room for plot development and push the story onwards. Afterwards I had a period of doubt on completing this story while working on another, so, I decided to finish this sucker after I completed 'The Journey Continues' a Galaxy Quest story. So I resumed working on this stubborn pest to get her done. 
> 
> Totally worth the doubt.
> 
> This is basically an AU of Into Darkness with a unique twist. 
> 
> The McSpirk developed over time. 
> 
> Originally it was going to be Spirk oriented.
> 
> Originally, the _New Kelvin_ starship was supposed to appear right when the Enterprise was under fire by the Vengeance and then most of the Klingons die save for Kirk who was beamed off the ship by Marcus who wants Kirk to watch the Enterprise be vaporized by highly advanced weaponary on his bridge and then make him live for the rest of his life wondering what he could have done and being in bitter regret. Knowing me, I will likely write the AU ending sometime later.
> 
> Originally, the _USS Nimoy_ was the _USS Jefferson_. The ship is named after Leonard Nimoy, the one who portrayed Spock Prime, who died last year. I could have named the ship ' _USS Shatner_ ' since it would be funny for Pine's Kirk to serve on the starship named after the original Kirk's actor. All funniness aside, I am satisfied how this turned out.
> 
> I also did research on how to write threesomes even though I was not going to write it but allude to it. All I can say is that I wish good luck to those who write McSpirk smut in the future to those who had no experience in sex.
> 
> Thank you for reading this story. 
> 
> No, really, and I am sorry for catching you off guard for the ending if you did not expect it. 
> 
> But also . . . 
> 
> Live long and prosper.


End file.
